Your “Out For Summer, Out ’til Fall, I Might Not Come Back At All” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • How was Jeremy Maclin cut from the Chiefs? By voicemail.
    • To be fair to Andy Reid, he might’ve thought he’d called a BBQ joint and was ordering a cut of beef.
  • The Rams traded former 2014 first-round draft pick Greg Robinson to the Lions for a sixth-round pick in 2018.
    • Pro Bowl calibre players picked after him? Khalil Mack (5th); Mike Evans (7th); Anthony Barr (9th); Taylor Lewan, Odell Beckham Jr., Aaron Donald (11-13); Ryan Shazier, Zack Martin, C.J. Mosley (15-17); Ha-Ha Clinton-Dix (21st).
  • Myles Garrett hurt his foot at Browns mini-camp.
    • It’s not enough for them to worry about at this point, but it’s a good sign of their intention to destroy him physically first, before mentally.
      • Brock Ostweiler arrived the other way, so it’ll be an easier task. Taking shots at something called the “Texans” shows he’s inventing a reality that doesn’t exist.
  • Joe Staley says Kyle Shanahan has helped break his mental funk over enjoying playing the game.
    • “The last couple years there were days where I couldn’t honestly say that. So that’s awesome to have that feeling back.”

Finally, ESPN charts that the first two concussion claims have been approved by the court overseeing the process of applying the settlement.

  • One was for ALS; one was for CTE.
    • Both individuals played a minimum of five NFL seasons and were diagnosed before their 45th birthdays.
    • Since the unnamed CTE player is dead, his estate will be getting the money.
  • Former players have until August 7, 2017 to apply to be part of the program, or they can opt out & pursue their own claims.

It’s my last day of school today for the year. Alice?

Sorry, Mr. Cooper?

That’s better. Aside from a trip to Europe at the beginning of July, it’ll be nothing but beer sales, cash money & puppy kisses until Labour Day.

Also, maybe forming “Puppy KISS”?

So, for about 3/4 of the summer, the Open Thread will have half my ass’s attention.


Tonight’s sports:

  • U.S. Open Golf:
    • U.S. Open first-round play – 6:00PM | FOX / TSN
  • CFL Pre-Season:
    • Ottawa Redblacks vs. Montreal Alouettes – 7:30PM | TSN2 / ESPN3
  • MLB:
    • Red Sox at Phillies – 7:00PM | Sportsnet / MLBN
    • Yankees at A’s – 10:00PM | Sportsnet1 / MLBN

To celebrate another year of gainful employment, I might just have a beverage or five. WINNER WINNER, LIQUID DINNER!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Mad Men was never as good after the first season.

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Pretty soon they’ll want the vote.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff
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Lucha Underground making a strong case for being the official fed of DFO

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Senor Weaselo
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I figured it would be Scottish Highland Wrestling.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Adam West’s funeral may turn out kinda odd.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I know, I know.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Hey, fuckdicks.

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Fronkenshteen
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Yanks!

/drunk

ballsofsteelandfury
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus
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Sphincter unclench initiated.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS
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Mr. Ayo
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Mr. Ayo

Nailed it!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My dad, being in the USAF in the 50s would say landings were really just controlled crashes and any landing you could walk away from was a good one.

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

“Takeoffs are optional;
Landings are mandatory”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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That may have changed with the space program…..

litre_cola
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Evening, how are we all doing during the end times this evening?

theeWeeBabySeamus
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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Running out the house, planning a pregame pizza+beer meetup before the gametime social for the women’s soccer game on Saturday. Good times.

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blaxabbath
Member

I’m really surprised Jay didn’t sign anywhere. On the one hand, I could see him not wanting to play on a 2-14 Jets team, eating turf in the fucking cold for any amount of money. On the other, it seems like a sign that NFL teams are now either, (1) have a QB and trying to contend; or, (2) Tanking.

Gratliff
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

“Just porn” it is.

theeWeeBabySeamus
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WCS
Member

Wow.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I know. I feel terrible for laughing at this.
Sincerely.

litre_cola
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Whoa, that was something

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I lau….lau….lau…..laughed too.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

This is killing me.

WCS
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Shogun Marcus
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King Hippo
Member

Mr. Wrench from Fargo (tv series) should go take care of him…

King Hippo
Member

Sigh…it’s like Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals aren’t very good.

/at least we are helping to build the Brew Crew an insurmountable lead over Small Bears

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Gonna be an ugly summer for all teams named after birds, I’m afraid.

But at least that includes Toronto. Schadenfreude shall be my nourishment.

King Hippo
Member

yeah, the Bird on Bird violencia weekend series might be kind of derpy…

theeWeeBabySeamus
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Maybe the meteor will finally take us out of our misery.
Plus, meteor hitting Baltimore….just imagine the comedic benefit.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Assuming it survives the return fire from the populace.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Does it involve the wondrous sport of Bautista Punching?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

We can only hope.

Shogun Marcus
Member

On behalf of the Cerveceros, gracias!

King Hippo
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de nada! Craig Counsell seems a righteous dude, and Thames is fun to watch. Why not youse guys?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

That’s not creepy at all.

WCS
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Shogun Marcus
Member

They see me rollin’, they hatin’…

King Hippo
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make way for teh new alpha!!

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I know that move.
Too much freezer vodka.

herodotus450
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herodotus450

Drouin to Montreal! A perfect fit! A crybaby to the whiners!

theeWeeBabySeamus
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WCS
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Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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Oh, I used to have that He-Man figurine too.

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Shogun Marcus
Member

He has Man-E faces.

Shogun Marcus
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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

That Jim Cramer clip in the Boardroom Jimmy bit Buddy posted reminded me that seeing professional media people play themselves in fiction like Iron Man or House of Cards is just the most craven, starfucking bullshit from supposedly professionals with integrity that proves they are neither.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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I enjoyed Jim Cramer’s appearance on Arrested Development.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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And John Beard was even better.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

John Beard is Aaron Rodger’s “friend?”

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Lil’ Jimmy Norton at his finest.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Jim Cramer is such a piece of shit.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“TWA is the airline to go with my friend!”

Dolph Ucker
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Dolph Ucker

That is an unfair comment and demeaning to pieces of shit everywhere.

Redshirt
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Nancy Pelosi sitting next to Paul Ryan looks like a little girl whose mom is making him play with a cousin she doesn’t like.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Nancy Pelosi looks like an aunt who only lets you sit on the ‘guest furniture’ with the plastic covering on it, and has an ashtray on the coffee table filled with her finger and toe clippings.

King Hippo
Member

yeah, “looks like”

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

She is the face of the dying Democratic Party.

blaxabbath
Member

The DNC is dying like a Phoenix, promising to rise from it’s ashes as corporatist as ever.

Also, Raul Grijalva’s tears cure Basilisk venom.

Redshirt
Member

Its jarring when you hear Donald Trump speak nice and selfless. With his mastery of social media and his connection to the people, it’ll be amazing if he wasn’t a selfish, egotistical, misogynistic asshole.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Its jarring when you hear Donald Trump speak nice and selfless.

Luckily, this has never happened.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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You don’t remember his State of the Union (Hank Scorpio Voice: “But I don’t like to call it a State of the Union…”)? The media fellated him so hard for his momentary coherence it made Linda Lovelace blush.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I do, and I remember the media blowjobs. I also remember the speech sucked ass.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Let’s kick it old school.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Also, this old dunk on Larry Bird is getting shared again. So I made a DFO-friendly version because fuck Twitter. https://gfycat.com/WideQuickAiredaleterrier

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Here’s Shawn Kemp again to balance all the crackers. https://gfycat.com/MixedDisastrousHammerkop

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I made this for r/Veep last night because I couldn’t sleep and I’m an idiot.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy
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So, on the AFL front, who watched WCE-Geelong?

litre_cola
Member

I did not. I may do so in a few hours.

ballsofsteelandfury
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I did. Boooooooooo!

Shogun Marcus
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I for one admire your efforts to put even half-an-ass into it. Good hustle!

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