Your Football-less Monday Night Open Thread

It seems like just a few months ago that I was typing “Caloo Calay!” at the prospect of watching me some football on a Monday night. Where did the season go? There’s like [counts on fingers] maybe 5 games left and then it’s all over for another year. We had some good times though, didn’t we? THE BEST FRIENDS ARE INVISIBLE FRIENDS.

I thought we were going to enjoy a ksunamii (silent T’s suck balls, silent K’s are where it’s at) of coach firings but when Mike McCoy is able to keep “earning” a paycheque then I guess most folk’s jobs are safe…FOR NOW. Old Man Samurai Coughlin took the honorable way out and committed seppuku so that he could spend more time re-learning how a clock works. Dementia-wise, I expect the Coughlin household to get up to speed. I know with Tom’s work ethic there will be far more cleaning products placed in the fridge now that he’s at home full-time. There’s no word yet on Pagano because Irsay didn’t show up to team offices until after 2pm. The reason he gave was, and I quote, “fucking dealer got stuck in traffic and it threw the whole day off”.

The sporty types still have some eyeball candy tonight though-college ball has #1Okla vs. #2Kan, UNC/FSU, WVU/TCU and UVA/VT. The NBA features Tor/Cle, Ind/Mia as well as GS and SA playing. The hockey brings us Det/NJ and Ott/StL as well as LA.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
158 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
jjfozz

The middle Fozz spawn came home from school yesterday and said, “Who’s playing tonight?”

“MNF is over,” I said.

“Over? What else are we going to do?”

“We could watch TV as a family,” said Mrs. Fozz.

“Oh sure, great! Like’s that going to be fun,” was his reply.

Doktor Zymm

Turns out the kimchi I made is even tastier when I’m drunk. Also, my drunk friend tells me it made his ramen way tastier. All my lights just turned themselves off, so it’s time for me to go to work. Tuesday. SMGDH.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Cold…so cold…and alone. Where is my substandard football?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury

Have you guys ever flown Virgin America? I love their planes and their hiring policies.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No. By far the best airline I’ve flown is British Airways.

A long time ago I went to Mazatlan and on Mexicana we icy margs in our sweaty hands before the plane started taxiing ….. oh yeah.

http://forgifs.com/gallery/d/198638-1/Creepy-pencil-face.gif

ballsofsteelandfury

Mexicana used to be great. Too bad they went away. Their hiring policies were pretty good too, if I remember correctly.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I was “with boner”, so yeah.

WCS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

WOW
comment image

WCS

If OU can’t beat the Jayhawks in Larry this season, no one will.

Croooow

Yeah, looking like Kansas will win the Big 12 for the elventy billionth time.

Croooow

Don’t like the result, still a great game.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sorry; had to do it…..

ballsofsteelandfury

Never apologize for that.

Senor Weaselo

Aww, the game’s over.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

Holy shit, successful inbound defense.

WCS

Holy piss on a stick, this game.
http://i.imgur.com/bzulRpG.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

Please make 1/2 and a missed buzzer beater…

Croooow

Holy Shit. What a three-ball.

WCS

This game has lost all control.
http://i.imgur.com/bzulRpG.gif

Senor Weaselo

Shooter’s roll. Wow, big 3.

Senor Weaselo

So the loser of this game should still be ranked 2nd, right? Not saying they will, but should.

WCS

Well, it won’t be UVA…

Croooow

Well, that was stupid.

Senor Weaselo

Remember the Cuse-UConn 6OT game? It probably won’t go that far, but remember it?

WCS

(Sigh) Yes.

The same night, WVU wrecked Pitt in the Big East tournament quaterfinals. EVERYONE was positive we’d take the Orange, since they wouldn’t have anything left in the tank. Syracuse won by 14.

Goddammit.

WCS

Let’s do three. Why the shit not?
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Shogun Marcus

There’s a fishing pole reeling that in from bottom right.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No to mention the snake is dead….. and they don’t move like that even if it was alive. Other than those things it seems totes legit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Looking closer; the snake is not only dead, it’s flat.

80s band that didn’t make it; Flat Snake.

Croooow

Triple Overtime. Holy Wow.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just tuned in for the fourth quarter of the Monday Niiiiiiiiiiii…….. oh…… shit.

http://40.media.tumblr.com/aca17cfecc470b33aeb0e777abeef466/tumblr_o01lr6DMjd1st4bmvo1_500.jpg

WCS

Double OT in Larry, Kansas. 86-up. Hell of a game.

Croooow

This Oklahoma-Kansas basketball game is really good.

Croooow

I want Oklahoma to win too.
Also, the new graphics look slick.

Croooow

Double OT.

Senor Weaselo

So I’ve formally invited to my first bachelor party since the first of my high school friends is getting married. Am I too young to say that I’m getting too old for this shit?

Shogun Marcus

Nope. Probably the most overrated “man” event. Kinda like new years eve after you’re 21.

WCS

Depends on the agenda: my 31-year-old buddy’s bachelor party was spent at the 2014 Indy 500. Not every one has to be a strip club with DUDEBROS.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Exactly. A good best man tailors the event to the groom. I’ve been to bachelor parties in Vegas, on a lake, in a cabin in the woods, in someone’s hometown, they only suck when they don’t reflect your friend’s personality. And when someone decides it’s their “only time” to act like a douchenozzle.

Shogun Marcus

True. I’ve just witnessed far too many of them devolve into that despite good intentions. BUT IT’S YOUR LAST TIME OUT DERRRP HARF!!
/pukes into outdoor crystal fireplace, orders three more rounds of 151

Shogun Marcus

Having said that, bachelor parties are far more tolerable then bachelorette parties 99.9% of the time. Guys tend to keep their shit together. Ladies are out to slay all in their path. And you’re always in their path.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Agreed with the above; totally depends on what you are doing. Last one was about ten of us went camping so there was no dealing with the usual shit. Plenty of booze, great cooking, some hungover mountain biking and no real injuries. Also offended the sister-in-law’s husband who left early, which was a great accomplishment, since she didn’t like him anyway.

http://40.media.tumblr.com/1a2f579174bd6097a5627b3869f7453c/tumblr_ny62o7Rg5R1r8scyto3_1280.png

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I brought a blow-up sheep….. wonder if the various sheep fucking simulations is what finally got him.

WCS

I think Dickie V just legitimately creeped out Brent Musberger.

Senor Weaselo

Is it the last game of the year? Will they hold anything back?

Shogun Marcus

Bears GM: We have EXTREME confidence in Cutler. We are going to build the offense around him.

Cat toy jokes in 5…4…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Translation: we don’t like the free agent pool and don’t think our draft position will be good for a rookie pick, so let’s keep doing what we’re doing! 8-8 next year?

Shogun Marcus

It’s always rebuilding in Chicago.

American Pie Story

Wooooo Pagano stays!

Shogun Marcus

Until irsay comes down? Or up? Back to a passing normal human state is what I’m saying here.

The Maestro

I’m actually shocked by this. Maybe he beat Grigson in a knife fight or something??

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m guessing he gave him some of his cancer pills.

/going to hell

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Fc_W86y1x1k/TbJGR0LojLI/AAAAAAAACqI/2uK7fiP-WaA/s320/archer.jpg

Shogun Marcus

That’s not pc brah. Get you in bourble.

King Hippo

they are betting on the cancer instead, cheaper than a contract buyout

American Pie Story

In other news, the top articles on my Facebook are multiple restaurant closings across the state. Fat Humps got their priorities.

Lothar of the Hill People

It’s because the gays are trying to eat, isn’t it?

American Pie Story

AND THE TEACHERS

Senor Weaselo

OR WORSE, THE GAY TEACHERS PUSHING THEIR GAY AGENDA

Shogun Marcus

WITH THEIR GAY FOODS AND DRINKS! SPRITZERS AND PETIT FOURS AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE!

Senor Weaselo

I just thought to myself, how has no one called the gay agenda “the gaygenda” yet?

Shogun Marcus

Do they really have an agenda? Sounds too formal. Most I know are pretty casual about things.

Shogun Marcus

Sudden new year’s resolutions? I’m supposed to be in indy next week and if bluebeard is gone imma be passed!

Shogun Marcus

Oh so pissed that is.

American Pie Story

Nah, just some chains. BUT ERMAHGERD WE HAVE A CHEDDAR’S NOW

American Pie Story

on that note i’m hungry again
/eats whole pizza
still hungry

Sill Bimmons

Making a Sichuan-ish stir-fry with roast pork, pea pods, water chestnuts, bamboo shoots, broccoli, peppers, onions, sliced fresh ginger, fresh garlic, mustard greens, tien tsin chilies, and Sichuan peppercorns.

comment image

American Pie Story

I can smell it from here. Looks amazing, Sill.

Sill Bimmons

That’s not mine.

That’s a GIS result.

Mine looks better than that.

American Pie Story

And better than my attempt at cooking, I’m sure: http://savingdinner.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Kitchen-Fire.jpg

ThePirateSloth

Hey, sometimes a dish calls for it to be flambe. You’re just putting a modern twist on a classic dish!

American Pie Story

It’s got that extra fiery kick to it.

ballsofsteelandfury

God, I miss Japan!

Sill Bimmons

Yeah.

It’s as close as you can come to leaving the planet without actually leaving it.

http://photos.cntraveler.com/2014/10/11/5438bd4400ac583c0af22e07_shinjuku-capsule-hotel-tokyo-japan.jpg

ballsofsteelandfury

Everyone should go there at least once.

SonOfSpam

The Enola Gay did not.

Lothar of the Hill People

In other news, I’ve got the entire run of Scrubs, Futurama, and the golden era of the Simpsons I need to re-watch. After that, I might re-watch the West Wing.

Sounds like I’ll have a productive winter, eh?

American Pie Story

Also, dating is horrible and I hate it. In case you were wondering how that was going.

Sill Bimmons

Might want to keep some of this handy for chatty types:

http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/pocket_sand_king_of_the_hill.gif

American Pie Story

and then a right hook!

Lothar of the Hill People

Stop. Us married guys need to live vicariously through stories of endless easy pussy. Lie to us.

ballsofsteelandfury

Or dick. I believe APS is a girl.

American Pie Story

Surprisingly more plausible. They whine a lot.

Lothar of the Hill People

Wait, what? My dick has never whined.

American Pie Story

The people attached to them whine for attention. Forgot to edit that.

Lothar of the Hill People

Wait, are you bursting yet another bubble? Girl-on-girl is totally kosher fantasy material for us married dudes.

American Pie Story

You have fun with that.

American Pie Story

Plot twist: I’m the lady!

ThePirateSloth
ballsofsteelandfury

Did you have the Dok Zymm Experience (TM pending) where the guy tried to stick an unwelcome finger in your butt?

SonOfSpam

I…I don’t remember this discussion. But (heh) I guess you just summarized it nicely. Except her reaction. Was it positive?

ballsofsteelandfury

Considering it was the first time they hooked up, I believe that’s a no.

American Pie Story

Not yet. Just a lot of begging for nudes.

(THAT IS NOT AN INVITATION)

ballsofsteelandfury

Dudes asking for nudes of you? Who barely know you?

How does that ever work? I mean seriously.

American Pie Story

Lots of begging. You’d be amazed at how many dudes cannot handle the word no.

SonOfSpam

The ones that can are already married.

ballsofsteelandfury

Wow. That’s sad.

American Pie Story

It’s just entitlement and arrogance and fragile egos for the most part.

Senor Weaselo

…Why do I feel there’s going to be a Valentine’s Day Pie/Redshirt/Senor adventures special? No, not THAT kind of adventure.

ballsofsteelandfury

That needs to be a post.

American Pie Story

And Dok, obviously. She has many great tales.

Senor Weaselo

I wasn’t sure considering she’s already in HRTN if we’d be allowed that crossover.

ThePirateSloth

I said fuck sports today and am binge watching some Walking Dead. Gotdamn Morgan keeping people alive and shit.

American Pie Story

I don’t even wanna know what Irsay’s up to today, honestly.

SonOfSpam

.32 if we’re talking about BAC.

Lothar of the Hill People

5 of the little green ones, 8 of the triangular pink ones, 6 of the oval blue ones…

JustStopDude

Sobriety day 4. No opiates or booze…but I fell off the non-smoking wagon.

My boss this afternoon walked up to my desk to tell me I got to go to Japan for a month.

I am less than thrilled…

The Maestro

Japan? Shit, man. A vacation there might be a fun, but a month of work-related stuff in a totally foreign country sounds like a rough go. Good luck with all this.

But hey. It ain’t Syria. So there’s that.

ballsofsteelandfury

Are you kidding? Japan is a drug trip without actually having to do the drugs. You will LOVE it!

Of course, I’m assuming you will go to Tokyo. Otherwise, I advise you to spend a lot of time in Tokyo.

JustStopDude

I’ll be in Tokyo trying to unfuck a bunch of equipment shipped out there for customer testing…that was supposed to have been fixed before it got shipped. And its going to be long hours.

ballsofsteelandfury

They work long hours, but they absolutely adore Americans. Have your Japanese contacts take you out for a drink after work. You’ll have a blast.

ballsofsteelandfury
ballsofsteelandfury

And yes, I’ve actually been there and been to places only an insider would know. The place is nuts.

American Pie Story

But all the vending machines will give you everything your heart desires!

Sill Bimmons

comment image

Sill Bimmons
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Impressive responses given that I thought it was a panties joke.

Senor Weaselo

Do we sell French… fries?

The Maestro

I’m watching Blues-Sens and swearing at this online job application thing for seemingly eating my online profile. Fuck you, you shitmunching assmongler of a webapp. I could write something better than this garbage and I can barely code.

King Hippo

Thank fuck no terrible bowl games to preview. HUZZAH!!!

litre_cola

This is simply brutal. Any ideas on what to watch on netflix?

...

I just saw a commercial for The Expanse, so I guess I’ll indulge in that.

Or I’ll watch a bunch of Archer again.

entropy

The Expanse is great, even though they made a bunch of significant changes to the books. SyFy threw a lot of money at this, and it shows.

ballsofsteelandfury

There is a new series called Club de Cuervos in spanish but with English subtitles that deals with what happens when an old soccer team owner dies and his son and daughter fight for control of the franchise. Very funny, pretty good, and there are some nice breasts and butts.

Spanky Datass

“Master of None” is amusing if you can get a few episodes deep.
Just started “F is for Family”; surprisingly profane.
“Peaky Blinders” is great.

entropy

Bloodline was decent, there’s a 30 minute Marco Polo special about Master Sifu, and I second the Pesky Blinders recommendation.

Also, Luther is AWESOME.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Have been watching (and very much enjoying) Making a Murderer.

American Pie Story

If you haven’t seen it yet, Jessica Jones.

If you’ve already seen it, Jessica Jones again.

SonOfSpam

Just saw Bone Tomahawk, and there’s this one scene…it’s quite something.

ballsofsteelandfury

There was also World Junior Hockey Semifinals on the NHL Network. Granted, they are over and it’s just replays, but that’s… something?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Eh, their hockey skills are okay but the uniforms are way too loose.”

– Marc Trestman

Senor Weaselo

Shit, do I have to figure out real TV? Real TV sucks!