Your “Please, Can I Have Only One Travesty Aired To Me Live This Week?” Monday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - October 31, 2016

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I'm not the biggest fan of this evening but I recognize that it does have its merits. Folks love to get jazzed up for this and there are little if any consequences down the road unless you end up punching a cop. (If at all possible, please don't punch a

The Last Yard

entropy - October 31, 2016October 31, 2016

The Last Yard - Spooky NFL Halloween Stories, 2016 We are at an unknown and unrecognizable football field, shrouded in mist, and the sun is setting, but there seems to be a piece of a sign that reads a barely legible "--HITA" over one of the locker room tunnels. It's a

DFO Halloween Stories: Michael

Scary Texan Stories

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - October 31, 2016October 31, 2016

Sheriff Gonagettcha sipped his coffee, staring silently at the single streak of scorched rubber on the asphalt. He followed its path to its termination in a pile of tangled metal wrapped around a poplar tree. "Why am I out here again?" he muttered to the State Police deputy who had been

Stephen King’s The Shanking

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - October 31, 2016October 31, 2016

[INTERIOR, BILLS TEAM HEADQUARTERS] TERRY PEGULA: Thank you for coming in to interview for the caretaker position. As you know, we generally shut the stadium to the public every January when the playoffs begin, and we like to have someone here to keep an eye on things through those cold winter

The Itchy Brain

horror

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris - October 31, 2016

The NFL player awoke Monday morning with his normal headache, along with the typical aches and pains of a Monday after a tough game. They’d lost, and played badly, and he was in a rotten mood. His headache was usually relieved by some toradol or some oxy, and smoking some weed

DFO Halloween Stories: Mr. Brown’s Shortcut

laserguru - October 31, 2016

EXT: Pittsburgh Steelers practice facility. Antonio Brown and Markus Wheaton are catching passes from a Jugs passing machine: Markus Wheaton: "Damn, Antonio! You can catch some serious fastballs from that machine. How many passes do you catch each day?" Antonio Brown: "I guess a couple hundred a day. Give or take. Gotta stay sharp

Scary NFL Stories: The Experiment

Old School Zero - October 31, 2016October 28, 2016

(Scene: a nondescript room with two doors—one far, one near—but no windows, and two tables and chairs. On one table is a large box with a number of switches on it, and cords running out from the back and through the wall, and a small television monitor and speaker on

Quoth the Ginger

Insane Shit

BrettFavresColonoscopy - October 31, 2016October 31, 2016

With apologies to Edgar Allan Poe, JJFozz, and actual writers/poets/intellectuals everywhere Once upon a season dreary, while owners pondered, meek and bleary- Eyed, thumbing through the ratings from the week before— The Shield's keepers, focused on accounting, were ignoring a sudden tapping, As if some one gently rapping, rapping on the windows of

“A Hitch in the Hook-up” – A DFO Hallowe’en Story

Beerguyrob - October 31, 2016October 31, 2016

It was a dank cold day in October, and the clock was striking "Fuck you". John had just gone through another weekend alone. He couldn't bear another day listening to the stories his co-workers told about their lives. His only solace tonight was to be "Monday Night Raw". The few

March of the Ram Man

Scary Texan Stories

blaxabbath - October 31, 2016October 31, 2016

We come across a man, our main character, walking across the Eads Bridge. His first name is Chris -- last name unknown and equally unimportant. There is no other Chris around and, as he is about to learn, “our main character” may have technically been a misnomer for, you see,

The Man With The Golden Arm* (A [Late] Cowboys At The Bye Week Horror Tale)

Horatio Cornblower - October 31, 2016October 30, 2016

*pictured above is the latest x-ray of Tony Romo's spine. Once upon a time there was a Man who seemed to have it all. He had played football in college and won a national championship. He made a fortune in the oil bidness. He took that money and

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 8, 2016

Reflections

King Hippo - October 31, 2016October 30, 2016

Well, I don't know what gets much scarier than what happened to Donks cult hero Wade Phillips on the sideline of what was otherwise a Most Glorious Pick Six for his defense. (Thankfully, the tubby defensive zen master is alive and well.) But the VERY SCARY STORIES that