Your “Blah Blah Blah…We Can’t Hear You” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • The NFL has responded to yesterday’s news about CTE in athletes’ brains:

We appreciate the work done by Dr. McKee and her colleagues for the value it adds in the ongoing quest for a better understanding of CTE.

As noted by the authors, there are still many unanswered questions relating to the cause, incidence and prevalence of long-term effects of head trauma such as CTE. [snip] The NFL has made 47 rule changes since 2002 to protect players, improve practice methods, better educate players and personnel on concussions and strengthen the league’s medical protocols. The NFL deploys 29 medical professionals on the sidelines for each game.

The NFL is committed to supporting scientific research into CTE and advancing progress in the prevention and treatment of head injuries.

  • In other words:
    • Go fuck yourself;
    • Smoking doesn’t cause cancer; and
    • Who are you to question King Roger I?
  • We will find out by 4:00 PM Eastern today if Lucky Whitehead has a future in the League, as that is the deadline for another team to claim him off waivers.
    • Rappaport says Whitehead has been contacted by five teams.
      • His agent has a double-entendre’d level of confidence:
        • “I can’t see why any team with a 90-man roster right now that needs return help wouldn’t pick him up.”
    • Whitehead says he wouldn’t go back to the Cowboys.
    • The NFLPA is looking into filing a grievance, especially if he doesn’t get claimed.
  • Butthole Updates:
    • My doctor’s appointment has been moved from this Friday to August 9.
      • I choose to interpret this as all results negative, and will imbibe accordingly.
    • Megatron’s will remain closed, as construction & mechanical delays will prevent Atlanta’s shiny new stadium from opening the roof by opening day.

He said it typically takes 40 days to “mechanize” such a roof after its last “construction move.” Since three more construction moves of the roof are scheduled in the coming weeks, the 40-day clock won’t even begin until after those moves. And Cannon indicated the process could take longer than 40 days because it will be sandwiched around a heavy schedule of events in the stadium.

Finally, two reads to make you aware of:

  1. The MMQB has an article titled “The Reprogramming of Cam Newton” which is meant to read like the Panthers are trying to create CAM!…WHOA CAM! 2.0, but comes across like Curt Gowdy is calling a Communications major “an intelligent young man” during a 1970s college broadcast.
  2. Big Daddy Drew has put out the call for contributions to “Why Your Team Sucks”. I expect your sharpest rage-icisms.

Tonight’s sports:

  • Beisbol:
    • A’s at Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Cubs at White Sox – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
  • Futbol:
    • CONCACAF Gold Cup Soccer 2017:
      • U.S. vs. Jamaica (Final) – 9:30PM | FS1 / UNI / TSN
    • International Champions Cup Soccer:
      • FC Barcelona vs. Manchester United – 7:30PM | ESPN2
      • Paris Saint-Germain vs. Juventus – 9:30PM | ESPN2

RAGE! RAGE AGAINST THE DYING OF THE LIGHT! – what Trent Green does when the fridge door closes.

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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GratliffDuchessUnsurprisedRomonobylBrick Meathook Recent comment authors
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Big ups to the Deadpsin commenter who posted this appeals court decision reversing the decision to grant summary judgment for Albert Breer in his indecent exposure trial.
http://caselaw.findlaw.com/oh-court-of-appeals/1479719.html

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Megatron’s will remain closed, as construction & mechanical delays will prevent Atlanta’s shiny new stadium from opening the roof by opening day.

Quick, someone call Manuel Ferrara!

(I wish I thought of this joke six hours ago.)

Romonobyl

The original Snapchat:

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Romonobyl

And to think a modern disposable cellphone can do a better job.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

In this case not really. 16mm Kodachrome is/was the greatest, and an iPhone would probably melt on the moon. And that Hasselblad on the rover is shooting 6x6cm medium format Kodachrome still frames: no digital camera of any type even comes close to that.
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Romonobyl

Probably while major motion pictures are still shot on old school film.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Romonobyl

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

For yeahright

laserguru

Oh goddamn it!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, it’s your fault for telling me to finish the wine. I tried unscrewing the cap…and it was already off and empty.

Romonobyl

Oh hai Kelly Cartman!

Don T

I wish cathechism had been like this.
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Romonobyl

Not in today’s Army mister!

Gratliff

This deserved more love

Romonobyl

So we can down-vote now? That’s a bad idea if I decide to activate Operation Be a Dickhole.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I got a voting error when I tried.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

And I still can’t upvote my own comments. RUDE!

Romonobyl

Russians are at it again I see.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

This is truly the darkest timeline. Where I have to rely on you assholes to validate my thoughts.

Romonobyl

Isn’t that really why we’re all here anyways?

Duchess

every time you downvote Trump gets an extra vote in Wisconson.

laserguru

Just to follow up, the magical voodoo anti pain patch things worked gloriously and I did 5 miles in record time today.

Oh hell yes!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Nicely done!

I had to fly to your city today on short notice for work. Leaving tomorrow, but if shit gets fucked up, I’ll ping you so I can reciprocate on beers near LAX.

laserguru

Fuck yes son, lemme know.
We’ve got the beers here as you well know.

Would be damn nice to meet up with you again.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If tomorrow goes the way tonight went, I’m gonna need many beers.

laserguru

Got that covered!

Romonobyl

So you obviously ignored my advice and put one on your fucking nutsack.
SMGDH…

laserguru

This was the rare occasion when I didn’t even fondle my nutsack after application.

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

/feels really old

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So I’m an idiot and booked the wrong kimpton tonight. Random dude was willing to switch kimptons with me and drive the 20 minutes to the other one. We’ve been waiting 20 minutes for the two hotels to get their shit together to facilitate this random act of kindness.

SonOfSpam

USA USA USA USA

/sees that Trump is still President

Aw, fuck, we’re terrible.

litre_cola

Yes but your microbrew pubs are amazing.

SonOfSpam

That’s something! Thanks, friendly Canadiaoun!

SonOfSpam

The Gritty Little US Team might actually beat the powerful Jamaicans! MAGA!!!!!

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

How the fuck did the USMNST even make it this far?

Its like watching the Caps in the NHL playoffs.

SonOfSpam

As Jordan Morris scores a pretty great goal

SonOfSpam

Scratch that…a REALLY great goal.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

I just saw it now. My feed has a bit of a lag.

Its what they needed. My snarky internet comment.

I’m not saying that I caused the goal…but I caused the goal.

SonOfSpam

You’re kind of an American hero.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pizza Power.

King Hippo

Being the only side with a GNP over that of your average suburban high school bake sale?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck you!

– TJ Oshie’s bear claws

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

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SonOfSpam

Dammit, so close to Abacab. YOU STOP AND STARE (abacab) YOU’RE NEVER THERE (abacab)

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The NFLPA is looking into filing a grievance, especially if he doesn’t get claimed.

Well, gosh. Don’t try too hard to protect your members, you worthless pieces of fuck.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Timbers fans aren’t quite at batshit fucking psychotic as Sounders fans, but give ’em a little goddamn credit.

That being said, I hate Fred Armisen and that series so much. I would shit on him if I could.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

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Amerikanischer Fußball ist enttäuschend

Don T

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blaxabbath

I disagree with your second paragraph.

blaxabbath

Nance and Peter might be my favorite Portlandia characters.

King Hippo

Speaking of buttholes, look at Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals making it 3 straight over the Rox.

SonOfSpam

Jamaica just tied the score, so, eh, no one cares.

King Hippo

WOO!!!!

/might switch back now

nomonkeyfun

Duuuuude, MSN. I like care and shit, but I don’t remember where I put thr, the, the… You know man, that thing you watch things on.

Man thaaaaat would be a great invention a thing you could watch sports on so you don’t have to leave the couch and worry about some dude harshing your mellow.

King Hippo

Oh you noe we gon’ talk buttholes, buhlee dat!

litre_cola

I see internet dad has been busy.

ballsofsteelandfury

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Tina just had a new idea.
Someone around here should be very worried.
😉
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ballsofsteelandfury

Bob’s Burgers capoeira episode is on. LOVE IT.

ballsofsteelandfury

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I love the fact the the Fulton Reed grew up to be Foggy Nelson

/Still watching The Mighty Ducks

Gratliff

Wish there were more fringe wrestling nerds here to share my G1 Climax thoughts with. My favorite part of NJPW is when two heels go against each other, it actually looks like two heels wrestling. Yes, that is the guy from the little girl kicking gifs going up against the best heel/DVD Salesman this side of Eddie Guerrero.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am relying on you for US/JAM updates. I am leaving this screen to auto refresh

herodotus450
herodotus450

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blaxabbath

Made my first weed store stop in a while this afternoon. Looking forward to burning one down this evening.

WCS

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“We should hang out.”

– Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Mind if I drop by?”

– Aaliyah

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Yeah, man. Let’s get toasted!”

– Chris Conte

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I’ll be right there, if you guys could hang on a second.”

– Aaron Hernandez

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

“Let’s get a bite to eat.”
– Jeffrey Dahmer

SonOfSpam

“I am depressed and will kill myself.”

– Chester Benington

Shogun Marcus

I’ll give it a shot.
-K Cobain

Shogun Marcus

We could tie one on!
-M Hutchence & D Carradine

theeWeeBabySeamus

AMATEURS!!!!!

– Jim Morrison
– Jimi Hendrix
– John Bonham
– Janis Joplin

etc

(and why are all their names beginning with J?)

SonOfSpam

You know who else began with J and died a lot…

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

“Fuck That!!!”

— Andre Rison

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I can’t fuck that.”

– Odell Beckham, according to Lena Dunham’s fevered imagination.

WCS

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ballsofsteelandfury

I was really expecting a ” Ha ha, your asshole doesn’t work!” tag and a Nelson Muntz gif.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

I think we should all just recognize that the NFL is going the way of boxing. It will be a gradual, but increasingly speeding up, decline of talent as more and more parents in the US realize its fucking insane to let their kids play a blood sport.

Soon it will be even more desperate people going into the sport, like eastern Europeans, but on a positive, the USMNST should see a massive increase in the talent pool!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah, sad but true. And Conor McGregor is gonna make a shit quarterback.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yup, this is very true. Except the only ones playing football won’t be Mexicans or Eastern European.

Shogun Marcus

I wreck a lice nuthin!
-E Smith

Flowerpot dingleberry trapezoid!
-T Green

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Finally getting over being sick for days with a big fever, choking to death if I tried to move from my bed, eating nothing-ish (like 3 days of actual nothing [edit: except water]) and other symptoms. My first instinct was to get drunk today. In defense of me I did like 5 hours of house work done before I went this route. That was a few hours ago I am drunk.

Shogun Marcus

Eat something!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Imagine living with someone that is sitting 10 feet away that will ignore as you take 45 min to prepare something, then the second is done annoys the shit out of you for an hour as your food cools when you are going to try to go eat.

This wasn’t the case here, it was the illness. But other times I don’t eat it is this.

theeWeeBabySeamus

— Richard Carpenter