Your “Well, I Guess That Was Worth The Wait” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

Well, that was a full weekend of football & commenting. I don’t know about you guys, but I need a couple of days to recharge.

NFL News:

  • Cardinals RB David Johnson needs wrist surgery & will miss 2-3 months.
    • They will place him on IR because, if the Cards are in a playoff race, they may need him down the stretch.
  • After Irma, Raymond James Stadium is good to go, so the Bucs will host the Bears as planned this Sunday.
    • The team had relocated operations to Charlotte during the crisis.
  • Still on the Irma front, the Jags home opener against Tennessee is in flux due to flooding in the area.
    • The team stayed in Houston until today. Decisions will be made after practice Wednesday & discussions with the groundscrew.
    • If they do cancel, there are two options:
      • switch dates with Tennessee, and this game will be played Week-17; or
      • cancel the game & schedule it for their shared bye-week (Week 8)
  • Scott Tolzien did so well against the Rams that the Colts are thinking about starting newly acquired Jacoby Brissett instead.
    • Brissett’s 4th quarter in relief looked better than Tolzien’s three quarters of actually trying.

Finally, in the ever-expanding “shit I didn’t know” pile:


Because there’s fuck-all on, I thought I’d visit my new “Hope Clicks Eternal” folder and treat y’all to the delicious misery that was the Facebook & Twitter home pages for teams that didn’t expect to be 0-1 today.

First up – the Patriots.

Now, there’s the usual “NO WORRIES HERE!””TRUE FANS” talk:

 

But there’s also the TRUE FANZ & poseurs:

 

And, of course, the douchebags:

Not to defend Patriots fans, but at least their team has won five Super Bowls in recent history, so they have cause to be a tad testy when someone shows weakness in their support.

Seahawks fans…

I have Seahawks season tickets, and that still gave me a boner. Oh, how I relish the blinding hatred that consumes others.

And to check in on the players, Michael Bennett gets his typical love from random twitter peeps, who have way too much time on their hands thanks to the carpal tunnel they developed jerking off onto the flag:

And WR Paul Richardson, who had a great game, is still not immune to the negativity even if it’s not directed at him.

I would show you the Hawks Facebook page, but the 9/11 tribute that leads the page is swallowed up in hatred for Michael Bennett. You will both weep for mankind and pray for meteor.

None of us expects them to stay 0-fer for long, but it sure is fun to watch their (casual) fan base wallow.


Tonight’s sports:

  • WNBA:
    • Semi-final:
      • Washington Mystics vs. Minnesota Lynx – Game 1 – 8:00PM | ESPN2
    • Semi-final:
      • Phoenix Mercury vs. LA Sparks – Game 1 – 10:00PM | ESPN2
  • MLB:
    • Orioles at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Dodgers at Giants – 10:00PM | Sportsnet1
  • WWE:
    • SmackDown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • from Las Vegas

I’m out selling playoff beers at Nat Bailey tonight – Game 4 of the NWL Championship

FREE MONEY BAY-BAY!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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MitchKissingTitsbisky
Member
MitchKissingTitsbisky

Two things 1: the bears need to seriously consider replacing their entire training staff or quit signing and drafting guys whose skeletal systems are made out of filo dough and 2: did anyone catch a gander at Alabama fans concerned about the freshman kid from Hawaii transitioning to playing football in the US now.

Wakezilla
Member

I noticed the Dirt Browns wore the Chief Wahoo hat tonight. They’re totally going to try and win the World Series wearing the hat, in hopes the fans will defend the logo to the death, aren’t they?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

The studio made the full-length porn video Cruz liked that clip of available. It’s okay, but I appreciate Cory Chase in 720p shot in half-decent light and direction.

h
ttps://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph57d6f8f6942ca

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Stay tuned in 7 hours for a special 25 Questions on this very topic!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I don’t get why people like bulldogs or pugs or any of those stout ugly fucks. Get a real dog, not a four legged turd.

Wakezilla
Member

/reads more of HillyRod’s excepts

Jesus, America really dodged a bullet with that nut job.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Indeed. Say what you will about Trump, but I understand his motivations and I truly believe him to be nothing more than a Mexican president. HRC, on the other hand, is seriously delusional.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

When all the complaints I see from people, especially those who didn’t actually give a shit before the election, just seem to be that he’s not dignifying the office or some such shit I just don’t want to hear their shit. They’re fucking wrong, they were cool with things being fucked up for a lot of people until their sensibilities were offended by white supremacists being open and obvious instead of coded and dog whistling, and they were cool with treating immigrants as human capital and not as human beings (which is still the base argument made by cretins like Kamala Harris about DREAMers and DACA – that they have economic value, and not that they came to the U.S. in large part because the U.S. has ruined and continues to ruin their parents’ entire goddamn hemisphere), and on and on.

But it’s cool now. Trump has gotten everyone to show the world their asses, and it turns out a lot of people’s asses need to be smacked for being terrible human beings, or worse, being indifferent and complacent assholes. And it’s finally lit a fire under the left to organize and mobilize like it hasn’t in generations.

The best thing about this fucking book and her book tour is that it will continue to tear the Democratic Party apart, and it deserves to be torn about and destroyed. Because there is no one I personally know who is involved with the party – as a volunteer, professional, appointee, or elected official – who I like or have any respect for, and very few Democratic politicians in general who I don’t want to see kicked in the ass forever.

Big Black Richard
Member
Big Black Richard

“And it’s finally lit a fire under the left to organize and mobilize like it hasn’t in generations.”

And Hillary will still lose the general election in 2020.

Wakezilla
Member

Hillary isn’t left tho

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

That last comment is in moderation. She may want to run, but no one else wants her. Kamala Harris will be the nominee.

Oh, and the Democrats aren’t winning back either house next year. That is guaranteed.

The left is going to continue losing for a while. That’s what happens when an entire half of the political spectrum just implodes under its own weight and incompetence.

Wakezilla
Member

I mean, the Democrats arent even left anymore

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

True, but that doesn’t mean what takes their place will win either.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Nope!

Beastmode Ate My Baby
Member

Probably. Although we’re assuming that Lord Humungous won’t have taken over by then.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

We have a military junta running the White House. This is the best thing that could ever happen as far as the vast political middle and right are concerned. That said, we’re not going to endure a nuclear apocalypse even though we rightfully deserve it.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Right now I’d lay money on Kamala Harris and Cory Booker. But they will still get their asses kicked.

Beastmode Ate My Baby
Member

She might run…I wouldn’t put it past her…but I’m not sure even the DNC will want her in 3 years.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Are you fucking kidding me?

Yes, she is/was terrible; he is several orders of magnitude worse.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

He is not good, but he has been contained. As Unsurprised said, there are people behind the scene running certain aspects to make sure he doesn’t do too much damage.

Hillary was/is a warmonger and we’d probably be knee deep in Syria by now if she was president. Fuck that.

Beastmode Ate My Baby
Member

I know where Balls is coming from. I don’t agree with his point on Trump, as I think HRC would have, at the very least, surrounded herself with, y’know, competent people, but she has a very telling problem with constantly, constantly finding something to blame her loss on...other than herself and her crappy campaign. His delusional remark is not that far off, as she never seems to take responsibility for her loss, instead blaming Bernie Sanders, the Russians, Comey…basically anyone other than that person in the mirror. She ran a bad campaign. She lost, and now all of us have to deal with her failure.

Wakezilla
Member

Would she have surrounded herself with competent people though? Her campaign kind of indicates she wouldn’t

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

I agree. She wouldn’t have. She wouldn’t want anyone to challenge her. Her ego couldn’t take it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fucking amazing; I can’t even comprehend; Trump is the king of delusional and surrounding himself with incompetents. I shouldn’t even go on; there is basically no comparison in magnitude and it is idiotic to think so. We are doomed.

Wakezilla
Member

Oh lordy, the amount of gorgeous women in my gym right now is why I can’t quit coming to this shit hole.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Another reason why I loved your city. Vancouver women are fit and hot.

Wakezilla
Member

I am honestly going to miss this over-taxed, incredibly superficial and vain city when I move next year.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Phrasing?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Sally Albright said HRC has a Twitter alt, which is 100% believable and probably explains some of the more insane takes from the #StillWithHer crew that I read about every day if it turns out she is feeding them and feeding off their cultlike obsession.

Wakezilla
Member

Peter Daou , Kirk Epileptic and Neera Tandem probably make up about 1000 of those fake accounts

blaxabbath
Member

What’s even the point of liking a porn tweet on twitter? Is that the validation these actors are seeking? Dick jokes and Quotables (often the same thing) are for cheap quick fun laughs. If you want true esteem-building validation, you have a three-way on camera and hope a still of it get 40+ twitter likes.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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blaxabbath
Member

Fucking Ted Cruz. Only that tool would watch pornography this is just a version of his own wife pleasuring herself while watching a young white couple screw.

WCS
Member

Man, the Dirt Pauls are crushing and killing everything in the their path. They’re going to lose the ALDS in a sweep, right?

Senor Weaselo
Member

If they’re the 1, I hope so. If they’re the 2, I hope to fuck not.

blaxabbath
Member

Where my Hillary fans at? Any read What Happened yet?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I just downloaded it and Shattered (totally legit) and plan to read them after I send this email I’m procrastinating to avoid writing.

Redshirt
Member

No, but what I’ve read it sounds like she’s rewriting history:

– Its Bernie’s fault for not rolling over.
– Its DNC’s fault for giving her faulty data.
– Its Comey’s fault for reopening the case at the last minute.
– Its Russia’s fault for conspiring.
– Its Wisconsin’s, Michigan’s, and Pennsylvania’s fault for not voting for her even though she visited those state’s airspace when she was flying to the more important states.

I made the last one up, but it wouldn’t surprise me if she said it.

Wakezilla
Member

Her paid advisors have publically blamed Wisconsin, Pennsylvania and Michigan, so, she likely has said that, but not in her book as she’s clearly running in 2020

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

If she runs, that guarantees another 4 years of Trump.

Big Black Richard
Member
Big Black Richard

That’s ok, I didn’t want to live long enough to see 2024 anyway.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

I believe she also said in an interview that she endorsed Obama early when in fact she stayed in the 2008 race as long as possible because–dead seriously–she wanted to be ready in case the black candidate was assassinated.

Wakezilla
Member

Also posted a pick of Obama wearing a turban, and implied he was. Muslim

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

She started all of the birther shit.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Yes. that is a lie she is currently shopping. Also, that PUMAs never existed and 25% of her voters totally didn’t vote for McCain to spite Obama, but the 13% of Bernie voters who voted for Trump represent his base.

Wakezilla
Member

What happened? I read some of her excerpts, which were fucking horrendous

Duchess
Member

What happened was while yes Russia may have helped Trumpby sending Memes and possibly funding Jill Stein. Which btw is not getting enough attention Jill Stien siphoned off just enough votes. However, Russia didn’t hack her itinerary to ignore the fucking rust belt and try to turn Georgia light pink.

Also FUCK JOE BIDEN, for not realizing Trump literally wants to fuck his daughter so no one cares his son is boning his dead sons widow.

This was not Trumps election to win it was hers to lose and she fucking lost it… thats what happened.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

95%+ of Johnson and Stein voters would not have voted if they didn’t have a chance to vote for their candidate because, as it turns out, people really like voting for their candidate and don’t actually vote strategically.

blaxabbath
Member

Hillary refusing to debate Bernie and get most of her bullshit out in the open early was basically the DNC letting her play a prevent defense.

Fuck the prevent defense.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Bitching about Russia and Comey is like a team that plays down to its shitty opponent and loses on a bad call at the end. Yeah, the call cost you the game but had you not played so shitty, it never would have mattered.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Member
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Beau Biden died, Bro Biden lived though.

Gratliff
Member

“WE CAN WIN TEXAS”
“The Blue Wall just went red.”
“C’MON TEXAS”

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

I’ve seen some of the bitchier excerpts, which is enough.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Member
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I read the part where she has a private meeting with Barack Obama and says earnestly, “Now, I’ve been hearing some things lately and, is it true that ‘black don’t crack'”?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Member
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Yes, it made my penis shrivel into a dry vagina and send phishing attacks to John Podesta.

Gratliff
Member

*pushes glasses up on nose* Technically, if you’re specifically targeting someone, it’s called spear phishing.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Member
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Hon, I know more than enough about spear fishing! It’s what we called glory holes during Shark Week.

Gratliff
Member

Was going to go with the slow pitch home run, but this one amused me more.

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herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

If it’s more than the one sentence:
“America hates women slightly more than black people.”
then her publisher got ripped off.

Beastmode Ate My Baby
Member

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Gratliff
Member

Was looking for a snarky image about it being the Jew’s fault. Don’t google such things. It’s not worth your soul.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

A few unused concepts from today’s “F–k It, I’m Throwing it Downfield” homage:

“Fuck It, I’m Throwing a Challenge Flag” – Lovie Smith

“Fuck It, I’m Throwing Up On The Field” – Donovan McNabb

“Fuck It, I’m Calling a Time Out” – Andy Reid

“Fuck It, I Quit” – Barry Sanders

Senor Weaselo
Member

“Fuck it, I’m Still Gonna Eat It” -Either Ryan sibling

Redshirt
Member

“Fuck it, I’m throwing it anyway!” – Andy Dalton

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Member
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Fuck it, I’m already on campus” – Ben McAdoo

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

“Fuck it, I quit” -Calvin Johnson
hmmmm..

Jerry Was A Shogun Named Marcus
Member

Fuc…meh. J. Cutler

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

“Fuc…meow.” – J. Cutler

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

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Beastmode Ate My Baby
Member

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Jerry Was A Shogun Named Marcus
Member

“Waiting On Idiots To Realize Their Status”

Gratliff
Member

So Vince McMahon just took a frog splash and a shoot headbutt from Kevin Owens and bled hardway to give Smackdown a decent ending in 2017. He may be a psychotic anti-labor megalomaniac, but he takes his soap opera extremely seriously.

Gratliff
Member

Beat *A* McMahon, eh? pic.twitter.com/8hL33bRMAA

— TDE Wrestling (@totaldivaseps) September 13, 2017

//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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Gratliff
Member

Peyton never could quite get the hang of dabbing

Beastmode Ate My Baby
Member

Bored last night, so I Cruz’d the Twitter.

Duchess
Member

Now when I am bored I call Alex Jones Bill Hicks on Twitter wondering how long until I get blocked by him

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Member
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Adrian Peterson went for 18 on 6 yesterday.

Not just his rushing totals but the number of vericose veins he left on his son’s balls with 6 vacuum cord plug swings.

WCS
Member

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Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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Redshirt
Member

Is it a Mortal Sin to beat against my team in the Eliminator Challenge? Because I saw the Bengals live.

The Bengals O-line is very, very bad and the Texans will be coming into with a D-line that will be very, very mad.

Senor Weaselo
Member

I don’t see why not, considering I’m doing it multiple times.

Redshirt
Member

I couldn’t do it. Somehow Dalton responds to his worst games with his best games. Too much of a risk.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Well I just managed to strip the chocolate off the top of a chocolate eclair. There’s a joke to make there, right?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Demand more chocolate from your eclair seller. Tell them yours is broken.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

This is what happens when you use CHEAP BOLTS
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

CHEAP BOLTS sounds like it would be a good name for a website that sells cheap Lawnmowers tickets except that it’s just a blank white page cause that delusional idiot Spanos still thinks people are going to pay $200 per seat to sit in a soccer stadium.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

Cleveland Browns. Obstructed view. Stubhub Center. $627.64 each, minimum 2
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Duchess
Member

This makes total sense If im paying $630 per ticket the last thing I want is to be forced to watch a Browns vs Chargers game.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

Buying tickets on StubHub for StubHub Center is real Doctor Who shit.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

blaxabbath
Member

“Fuck Dean Spanos, sir.”

-Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

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Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Cubs Twitter is absolutely shitting itself right now and I get it but I still hate them.

Senor Weaselo
Member

How’s Dodgers Twitter doing? The lead’s gotten to under 10 games!

Redshirt
Member

Oh, I’d appreciate some prayers for my family. My grandparent is in the hospital and is having trouble getting better.

Wakezilla
Member

Positive snaps to your grandfather and you.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Warm fuzzies headed your way.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

I wish you and your family all the best.

litre_cola
Member

All the best my unicorn imaginary friend.

WCS
Member

Sorry to see that, buddy. You’ve got ’em.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Considering my last couple days they might do more harm than good, but if it’ll help they’ll be there.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

I’m not sure mine carry a lot of weight, but you’ve got ’em.

Jerry Was A Shogun Named Marcus
Member

For what they’re worth, you and yours have them. I hope science has a solution.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I have a cyst on my wrist that hurts sometimes that I got from doing something wrong while I was studying for the bar exam. I don’t know. I just had a shitty day and napped for too long and now I have a shit ton of stuff to do.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Jerry Was A Shogun Named Marcus
Member

Wrist injuries are serious. I’ve donated mine to CTS research. I figure 30+ years of damage should help.
/goes back to the interwebs for more study.

Jerry Was A Shogun Named Marcus
Member

Oh so I’M the bad guy for making a low-brow masturbation joke. Keep your pinkies out gentlemen.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Trent?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Dad?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wilber?

Redshirt
Member

Great for this telethon for Hurricane Relief. All my love for these people.

Now, if only we can get a telethon to get Trump to resign. I’m certain we could put together a billion dollars to persuade him to quit.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

That’s only four dollars per American.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

What’s this kissingivankatrump.com thing I’m seeing recommended to me on Twitter?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

A site that definitely doesn’t need funding from a reader.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

So is someone LARPing as the old KSK writers? Jesus.

Senor Weaselo
Member

RFD is LARPing as himself. Actually, that sounds plausible.

blaxabbath
Member

What is LARPing?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I wish I never asked.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

No, it’s not like that.

I was just making a joke about he who shall not be named.

Jerry Was A Shogun Named Marcus
Member

Don’t be sill…y…hee

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Okay.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt
Member

There’s a reason why I didn’t vote for Ted Cruz, he’s always so backwards: a normal American likes porn, and then a staffing issue will happen.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

It’s sad that this is the most human thing that lizard person alien has ever done.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

And he’ll have to publicly apologize for it!

Jerry Was A Shogun Named Marcus
Member

Say folks…who’s this cory chase person that the webs are talking about?I
/totally not a narc
///she’s alright
////yup I skipped two…I was busy

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

Molly Jane? Never heard of her. Wait what was the question?

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Playoff Beers would be a pretty good FF team name. Too bad it’s baseball.

WCS
Member

Better used as a hockey fantasy team name.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Senor: After Sunday I’m not sure whether I’m ready to totally go full bore.
Also Senor: *Puts Curbstomp on his pork chops*

How goes it lizard people?

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

I love shit head fans that think the head of the NFL gives a flying fuck which team wins any given game.

He makes millions to shit in your mouth…he does not care if your specific team wins or loses.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

That’s not true, you don’t think he’d care who advanced if he was looking at conference championships of Cowboys vs. Rams and Patriots vs. Jaguars?

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

“The Jags poor television ratings are an embarrassment to the league and are against our code of conduct. I have decided to suspend them for two games.”

Horatio Cornblower
Member

Nice cover photo of Ted Cruz.

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