This:
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So, you may have heard the news that the Zodiac Killer or someone on his staff “liked” a tweet from @SexuallPosts which contained a porn video.
I, your intrepid investigative reporter, tracked down the video and watched the whole thing. You may have…. Questions.
1- Is it a rhetorical question to ask whether Balls was wearing pants while watching this video?
2- Is it perfectly natural to walk into your house when the door is unlocked while on the phone with your husband and tell him, “Honey, I’ll call you back. I don’t know, something is in the house”?
3- Do stray cats or dogs sound like a couple having sex doggie style on her couch?
4- Are you as relieved as I that the couch is white?
5- Was that raycess?
6- Isn’t it convenient that there is a rather large pillar in the middle of the room for her to hide behind?
7- That architect really thought ahead, didn’t he?
8- Are you as disappointed as I that her bra totally does not match her panties?
9- Or that she’s wearing granny panties?
10- Do you think it’s that time of the month?
11- That would explain why she’s so horny and why she could not distinguish between a feral cat and a couple fucking, wouldn’t it?
12- Is this video set in the 70s cuz that’s a whole lot of bush there?
13- Why does the girl on the couch have on socks while the guy doesn’t?
14- Does she run cold or is she just being conscientious and doesn’t want to dirty up the couch?
15- That’s mighty nice of her though a bit naive, don’t you think?
16- Ok, seriously, reddish brownish top with a blue skirt, black and white striped bra and white granny panties?
17- Is the owner of the house color blind?
18- That would explain the white couch, white walls, and white IKEA table, right?
19- Aren’t the librarian glasses a nice touch though?
20- Would you believe me if I told you that’s this video’s sole redeeming quality?
21- Why is it all long shots with absolutely no closeups?
22- At 2:19, did you think that was long enough for the Zodiac Killer to orgasm?
22- You just threw up a little in your Frosted Flakes, didn’t you?
23- Does this make you think any less of Ted Cruz?
24- Aren’t you, like me, more disappointed that he or his staff liked such a shitty porn video?
25- This is why Trump won, isn’t it?
“Are you as disappointed as I that her bra totally does not match her panties?”
Every. God. Damn. Time.
“Aren’t you, like me, more disappointed that he liked such a shitty porn video?”
Fixed that question for ya. Awfully nice for a staffer to fall on that sword and get a new job with presumably an extra zero in their severance package, though. Oh, you know the Zodiac Killer likes freakier shit than this. My theory: His PR campaign told him he needs to make himself more relateable, so he they did this and he picked the first, most vanilla sex scene imaginable, so not to turn off his supporters, who we all know are into some super nasty stuff.
This has inspired me to have a “torn from the headlines” story in HRTN, where a random DFOer walks in on two crabmen having sex.
It’ll probably be Brocky.
I have a question. I can’t believe I have to ask this when Balls did 25 questions about a porn video. Was there anal?
Unfortunately, the shot was too far away, but I believe the answer is YES
Anal is never far away.
“Wait a second…”
“Enhance!”
“ENHANCE!”
“We’re through the looking glass here, Lizard People!”
19- Aren’t the librarian glasses a nice touch though?
When are they not?
Grumble grumble you win grumble grumble
Still tho…..
Son of Spam makes a good argument, but
it’sI’m too hard to disagree with tWBS.http://i01.i.aliimg.com/img/pb/775/656/929/929656775_230.jpg
Yeah, I was being purposely contrarian, but you guys and your arguments are hard to disagree with. Hard.
23- Does this make you think any less of Ted Cruz?
There’s really no way that would be possible. He’s Canadian.
Yeah, this is like, porn for people who are watching porn for the first time. It’ll be news when he likes goatse. You gotta work your way up to that.
The full video is decent, but all contemporary videos are pretty shitty. HD porn has all the depth and warmth of a
proctology examstereo showroom.I don’t know if I’m just used to the glasses or if she really is beady-eyed without them, but I’m pro glasses.
“I knew Cruz was a cuck!”
-self cocksucker
“Well, I’m not gonna fuck him”
–Heidi Cruz
Glasses are a hard yes. Phrasing.
Say what you will about Ted Cruz but his bloodline eliminated JFK with prejudice and that is something you can never take away from him.
“With prejudice?” -Chip Kelly
“I have a glass of prejudice every day, it keeps me romulan.”
-E. Smiff