Instant Hippo Thoughts – Non-Super Sunday Edition (2017 Season)

King Hippo

King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan.Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian.Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child.[Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
King Hippo

This will be the last edition of this column for the season, as the prophecy is ended and I have no interest in repeating last season.  Stupid Doug Marrone.

Our beloved Jaguras, despite the even week, had the P*ts beat.  They were clearly the better side, and had a fantastic gameplan that BORT was executing flawlessly.  But they took their foot off the gas before halftime, then learned absolutely nothing from the experience of losing most of their 14-3 lead.  Up 20-10 near midfield, 12 minutes to play, 4th and a VERY short 1…JAX cowardly punted, and the game would never be the same.  When you have the chance for a kill shot, especially on the road – you fucking take it.  Jacksonville elected to play it safe, and a few soft/dumb penalties later, they had lost.  They shouldn’t feel good for getting this close, they should be fucking embarrassed, and ashamed for letting America down.  Fucking motherfuckers.

Minnesota, on the other hand, came out shit hot.  Like ATL, MIN came into Philly a road favourite.  Unlike the Falcons, the Vikes are actually a good team deserving of such respect.  But, Case Keenum made a SUPER ill-advised third down pass that got taken back for 6, then everything went to merde.  Credit the Iggles for hanging together and getting out of the NFC bracket, but they have pretty much no chance in the Superb Owl.  So I will be damned if I’m watching it.

Sorry this isn’t more comprehensive and insightful.  I had a super shitty week at work, and this weekend did nothing for any portion of my brain/soul.  There is only so much bullshit one has the capacity to absorb.  Meh.

King Hippo
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]

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Doktor Zymm
Member

Eh, I’ll probably still watch, but I can’t see myself paying that much attention. With all the hype and the extra hour of commercials it’s always been hard to watch a SB for the actual football. I don’t watch for the shitty commercials either and I’ve never managed to sit through a half time show. When I have zero interest in either team winning that’s about the last reason to watch gone.

Dick E. Phuck
Member
Dick E. Phuck

I think Shurmer is a good hire for the Giants. Safe, but good. Now if only they would not hire Del Rio as DC. Watching the 2012-2013 Broncos and this Year’s Raiders defenses has me convinced that he’s not exactly some kind of defensive guru.

Dick E. Phuck
Member
Dick E. Phuck

After painstaking research: I have found out that his name is spelled with a “u” instead of an “e” at the end. All I have to say is that’s dumb.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Historical sources make it clear that using two U’s in a word is a mark of the highest professionalism.

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Wakezilla
Member

“But they took their foot off the gas before halftime”

It was two kneels. I still think that was a perfectly cromulent call. The rest though, that’s some dumb shit.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

Not sure why no one wants to watch the SB because it’s the P*ts. In the Brady-era SBs, the margin of victory has been 3, 3, 3, 3, 4, 4, and 6 (OT), and they didn’t win all of them. Non-Pats SBs margins of victory since ’02 have been 27, 11, 12, 4, 14, 6, 3, 35, and 14. I’d rather watch a close contest, myself.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

There’s nothing that could or will happen during the game that would possibly bring me joy. There’s nothing at all that makes it *worth* watching for me.

Dick E. Phuck
Member
Dick E. Phuck

There is the potential joy of watching a sad Tom Brady and Bill Belichick walkoff the sidelines in sadness together. Of course, that joy is counteracted by the horror of having to watch asshole Eagles fans (minus the DFOers maybe) gloat for what will feel like an eternity.

Gratliff
Member

Was a good Sunday. Incredible amounts of nightmare fuel to be found.
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

I’ve already gotten as much shameful joy (the Chiefs blowing it) and as much regular joy (Diggs’ touchdown) as I can possibly get out of these playoffs, so I too am done watching football for the season.

blaxabbath
Member

Ahem
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

I said football, not “football”.

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

So this happened:

“WCVB tweeted out news of the Patriots’ win tonight with a photo of a Patriots player wearing an 81 jersey diving for a ball.

Oops, the station realized pretty quickly – in part because people started wondering why they’d used a photo of Aaron Hernandez:

A news service that provides WCVB some digital content accidentally posted a pic of Aaron Hernandez in connection w/Pats AFC champ win on our social media. It’s embarrassing & unacceptable. We apologize & are working w/team to correct so something like this never happens again.

A top 10 media market everyone.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Oh so I guess Aaron Hernandez is an unperson now? It’s funny, they wouldn’t be in such fervent denial of history if it had been a picture of, say, Brandon LaFell.

Beerguyrob
Member

Chris Benoit has a better chance of getting back on TV.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

To be fair, the P*ts did hang a painful defeat on the Jags soooo…..

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

This morning’s flight had a medical emergency. Supposedly the guy is ok but I’m pretty sure it’s Roger Goodell’s fault.

litre_cola
Member

DFO prophecy lives on

blaxabbath
Member

We rip on how bad the NFL is this year — and it totally does suck from a depth perspective — but I don’t get the Eagles hate. I knew JAX sucked when they lost to ARI. I knew MIN was just hoping Case’s secret sauce didn’t wear out (also, if it takes you a miracle at home to advance to a road game…probably not a sign that you #belong). But PHI is a good team, even with Foles. And I think Pederson is a good coach. But I pick up here that they aren’t as good as last year’s Falcons?

Or is this just more expectation that the league will insert their influence in order to further build the Brady Legacy*?

* Legacy not valid unless cheating is accepted

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

I think the hate is more for Eagles fans (not the DFO ones) than the Eagles themselves. Plus, the NFL drives the QB narrative so hard into the ground that when Wentz wentzed down, most assumed that was it for them.

yeah right
Member

It’s definitely the fans. I could give a shit about the team but those asshole fans deserve all the hate and animus that we can throw their way.

They did the impossible and made me hope that the other team wins. Fuck them for that.

Doktor Zymm
Member

For me it’s part division rivalry, part attitude.

bk109
Active Member
bk109

So,y’all calmed down already, ’cause I was reaaaaally concerned for your sanity. First Brady finds the best way to make your blood boil, then the Vikes get ass-blasted by Big Dick Nick an’ co…

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

That is Nick The Dick, thankyouverymuch

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bk109
Active Member
bk109

No, this is THE Nick… (not pictured Drew’s skull being abused XD)
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BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

If Nick Foles (which my phone still wants to autocorrect to Files despite typing Foles for like 6 weeks now) does the unimaginable, is he the biggest hero in all the NFL?

sunrisesunrise
Member

You can’t spell Nick Foles without E-L-I.

Don T
Member

I trust the Eagles to make LII memorable. Hope ya have a better week, KH.

We need more songs about middle fingers. https://youtube.com/watch?v=TQrwzGkopfo

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

This is one of my favorites: