Your “Yay! Holidays!!” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • The Hall of Fame has decided how they will dick around TO.
    • He will not be mentioned during the ceremony, and will mail him his gold jacket after the ceremony – presumably so he can’t wear it to his own ceremony at UT-Chattanooga.
      • “The focus,” Hall of Fame executive director Joe Horrigan said, “is on the guys who are here.”
  • Kellen Winslow Jr. had his first pre-trial hearing Wednesday.
    • The prosecution’s case was weakened a tad when three women couldn’t identify Winslow as their attacker.
      • I’m not sure how it works in America, but in Canada identification isn’t mandatory in sexual assault cases due to the traumatic effects of the assault on the victim’s psyche & memory.
        • But since people like Mike Pence believes rape victims are whores who asked for it, who knows what an elected judge thinks.
    • His second hearing was today.
      • If a fourth victim can’t identify Winslow, according to Judge Florio it could be difficult for the prosecution to convince the presiding judge that enough evidence exists to justify taking the case to trial. If the victims are unable to identify the attacker at trial, it will be difficult to prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.
  • Speaking of trials, Shady has hired a lawyer.
    • It’s Don Samuel – the lawyer who defended Ray Lewis after he totally didn’t watch a guy die in Atlanta back in 2000.
    • And the Bills are starting to prepare for life without him on the field, if he’s put on the Commissioner’s exempt list prior to the start of the season.
      • Which would actually make their lives easier, since they can’t suspend him yet without charges having been filed, lest they run afoul of the Collective Agreement & a case for constructive dismissal.
  • Oh God – it doesn’t stop: Jacksonville Jaguars defensive lineman Marcell Dareus is being sued by two different women for sexual assault. Neither case has criminal charges attached.
    • One is from a woman who alleges he had sex with her while she was unconscious, and exposed her to a sexually transmitted disease.
      • It’s a civil case. She’s asking for $15000 in damages.
    • The second alleges she was also assaulted while unconscious in a hotel room rented during the National Championship game.
      • It’s also a civil case; no damage amount was listed.

You won’t have Beerguyrob to kick around for a while. I’ve been given time off from the #content mines and will be enjoying some North American time off until late-July. Then I’ll be back for a week before I’m off again, on a whisky tasting tour of Scotland for about half of August. By that time, training camps will be in full swing and we’ll be closer to the regular season football that we both love and loathe.

If you really miss me, feel free to go back & enjoy my magnum opus, World War G. I quite enjoyed putting that together, and if something ever happens to me I want that to be my legacy here.

Until then, Jā matane.


Tonight’s sports:

  • CFL:
    • Stampeders vs. Redblacks – 7:30PM | TSN
  • MLB:
    • Blue Jays at Red Sox – 7:00PM | Sportsnet / MLBN
  • NBA Summer League:
    • Clippers vs. Lakers – 8:30PM | ESPN2
    • Hawks vs. Trail Blazers – 10:30PM | ESPN2
  • NASCAR:
    • Camping World Truck Series: Buckle Up in Your Truck 225 – 7:30PM | FS1
  • World Series of Poker:
    • 2018 Final Table Begins – 9:00PM | ESPN / TSN2

LOVES YA!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

that’s gonna hurt
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She have a REALLY HOT ASS.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Now THATS a Thread Ender

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

I watched “Ideal Home” last night and thought it was very funny. It also sent me down the IMDb rabbit hole to look at Paul Rudd’s early career. I consider myself a bit of a movie geek; I was surprised that I had never heard of this movie starring Paul Rudd, Reese Witherspoon, and Ben Stiller’s wife doing a version of “Road Trip” two years before Road Trip came out:

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Dammit, tWBS, we need ALL of you off frame.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

He did that on purpose, expecting to be in front.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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WCS

SAY ELLO TO MAH TWANGY FREN

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

I am Jack’s PC Load Letter.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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nomonkeyfun

On the next episode of Sex in the City…

King Hippo

DONKS WOO!!!!

herodotus450
herodotus450
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Welp, her twitter account will turn into robotic sounding pro-government sayings from here on out.

nomonkeyfun

/cums
D. Trump
“Holy shit Ivanka, did you see this story?”
/cums agains

/nomonkey disappears

Wakezilla

She sure doesn’t look 29

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

He has a type

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Wakezilla

TBF, most guys have the same type

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450
herodotus450

People who wear tanktops, can you trust them? More at 11.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Just finished putting some serrano peppers in jars to ferment.
*whispered*
We’ve secretly replaced two of the serranos with ghost chilis, let’s see what happens.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

“Honey, I’m home!”

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Welp, that dude looks OVER fermented. Hope my peppers turn out better.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

kinda what the affect was last time I put too much ghost pepper on something; fine line.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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LemonJello
LemonJello

John Cena’s new yacht?

herodotus450
herodotus450

Nice picture of the ocean

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“I swear Captain! The torpedo cam out of the set of The Cabinet Of Dr. Caligari

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That was a C-side cut.

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Even LeRon Landry thinks the headless girl needs to lay off the juice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

herodotus450
herodotus450

Re: Peter King column thing coming back
He’s been on the pardon my take podcast, a few times I think, and they asked him about the Robin Williams story he put in his column about the waiter not crying. So you got that going for you, if you’re bored.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

I don’t follow soccer. Is Sexual Imposition a Yellow Card of a Red Card?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

that’s rugby.

Redshirt

…yes, it is. I’ll…just…be over here if you need me.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
litre_cola

The takedowns of PK is how I found KSK.

Redshirt
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fuck Adam Baldwin.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, it WAS a good gif.

That quote could be from some of the other Baldwins.

I guess people cannot separate the gif from the context.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I really loved Firefly and certainly would have loved the gif in other circumstances.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Never meet your heroes and all that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The women were all better characters and actors IMO.

There is a shit tonne of things ruined by actuality, but “I’ll be in my bunk” …. well.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Which one’s worse?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Here; let’s try this so nobody gets riled up about an actor who is much less than a role he played.

Redshirt

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Real Life Version.

(Charlie is running home with the Golden Ticket, and is stopped in the shadows by a shady character)
Slugworth: “I congratulate you, Charlie Bucket. Allow me to introduce…”

(Charlie knees Slugworth in the groins; runs away faster)

Charlie (screaming): “Child predator! Child predator!”

——-

Wonka: “You’ve won, Charlie! You didn’t sell the Everlasting Gobstopper to Slugworth!”
Charlie: “Sold what to who now?”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

MORGAN FREEMAN VOICE: I wish I could tell you that Charlie’s knee landed, and that Slugworth let him be. I wish I could tell you that – but the great town where the Chocolate Factory was located is no fairy-tale world…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Game Time Decision

Watching the Ottawa Calgary game. Ottawa just got their first first down with about 3 minutes left in the first half.

litre_cola

They are very good again this year. Bo Levi is a hell of a qb. He is a nice guy too which makes it difficult to hate.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello
LemonJello

“Sir! Excuse me, sir! Do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior, Colonel Sanders?”

Game Time Decision

Looks like he’s able to get a wall built….

Wakezilla

I can’t wait for them to lose in the Grey Cup again

litre_cola

Our weekly check in to see how Twbs is doing. Orioles 2-8 in their last 10.

Oh. I guess vodka stocks are up.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am currently obsessed with the idea that Kavanaugh’s wild expenditures on “Nationals tickets” are due to gambling losses.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Nationals tickets” is going to be the new “Russian adoptions”.

LemonJello
LemonJello

“Nationals tickets” are what Trump is going to sell to immigrants to pay for the wall

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

“Nationals tickets”. Boy I wish I that the money to blow on “Nationals tickets”.

“Nationals tickets” means “hookers and blow”, right?

Redshirt

Watching Willy Wonka, the real one not the hypothetical one that may have come out this century that doesn’t exist.

Just imagine in real life the reaction to a reclusive billionaire who employees a bunch of dark skinned undocumented immigrants in a company town operation inviting a bunch of kids to his mysterious factory with the promise of free candy.

WCS

Sounds like Jerry Sandusky’s personal paradise.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Game Time Decision

Something something I’d fertilize her something something

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

THAT’S what we were looking for.

LemonJello
LemonJello

No hard hats, gloves or eye protection – OSHA is gonna shut ’em down.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello
LemonJello

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Game Time Decision

That was such a “good” bad show

LemonJello
LemonJello

Agreed.
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Senor Weaselo
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello
LemonJello

That dude in the middle really loves the wieners.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Um , she’s a……. never mind; sure, you go right ahead.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I see they’ve trained her well for dating.

scotchnaut

This is the spot where I do my nightly “I woked up at 5:30am EST-time for “The Snoozies”.

/ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

LemonJello
LemonJello

Nighty-night!
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LemonJello
LemonJello

How is larddachino aficionado PK’s relaunch of his thought diarrhea as “Football Morning in America” not get mentioned in Crime Beat? Or are crimes against humanity out of its jurisdiction?

http://awfulannouncing.com/nbc/peter-kings-monday-morning-column-will-return-next-week-is-now-called-football-morning-in-america.html

WCS

Somewhere, Ape just involuntarily shuddered.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Memo to self: Joke idea: something about crossing The Buggles and The Bangles to get another one-hit wonder, the Cincinnati Bungles.
Memo to self: addendum: scratch that, the Bengals have zero hits, joke’s off.

WCS

[Redshirt drinks]

herodotus450
herodotus450

I forgot about Ki-Jana Carter: he had one hit and then was done.

WCS

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Redshirt

That’s usually how everyone ends nowadays. With [Redshirt drinks].

herodotus450
herodotus450

Beerguy going on a Scotch tour? Next you’ll tell me scotchnaut is going to a brewery tour!

scotchnaut

This is the most topsy-turvy timeline ever!

[drinks a big glass of water]

Redshirt

“Groundhog Day” is on. The most moving movie of a person stuck in a fate worse than Hell.

WCS

Oh, you said movie. I thought we were already living in a fate worse than Hell.

Redshirt

Groundhog Day II: Groundhog Term: an entire country is forced to relive January 20, 2017-January 20, 2021 (or January 20, 2025 if The Rock doesn’t run as a Republican and the Dems don’t get their shit together).

scotchnaut

[throws his hat into the ring]

-Cameron, “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”

Redshirt

Nice way to watch Ferris Bueller: Cameron is the only person in the main trio that exists. Ferris Bueller is his fantasy about how he wants to live his life.

scotchnaut

“So you’re saying I’m completely irrelevant?”

-a young Charlie Sheen

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So basically a Fight Club prequel?

scotchnaut

First Rule Of “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”?

Nobody talks about “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”.

WCS

But, Mia Sara..

scotchnaut

People Magazine tells me that she’s currently turning tricks on Ventura Boulevard. Sorry.

Redshirt

Did they say which part?

litre_cola

You just blew my mind.

scotchnaut

Everyone knows that The Bangles best tune is ‘Walk Like An Egyptian’

WCS

scotchnaut

I blame Susanna Hoffs.

scotchnaut

The most jaw-droppingly beautiful woman in the the world? I submit Stevie. Wait for it.