NFL News:
- It’s still a few weeks to the October 30th deadline, but who cares about facts? Trade rumours!
- Shady to the Eagles.
- Cardinals LB Deone Bucannon to the Eagles.
- A bitter former employee is accusing Shad Khan of trying to have London, and specifically Wembley, be the permanent Jaguars home by 2022.
- Craig Kline, who served as assistant director of Khan’s Fulham Football Club, made the allegations in court after he claimed he was threatened by Khan.
- The UK press are having a field day with it because there’s everything:
- Football – both kinds!
- Wembley
- Bitter ex-employee
- ‘Shady’ foreign money
- Colin Kaepernick has filed claim to trademark the image of his head.
- Which makes sense, since Angela Davis made so much off of hers.
-
- “Beerguy, do you have an aggrandising quote?” Why yes, and it’s from a lawyer!
- “I think it’s very smart,” trademark attorney Josh Gerben of Washington-based Gerben Law said of Kaepernick’s filing. “Nike made him relevant. Now he can monetize that and promote his movement more.”
- “Beerguy, do you have an aggrandising quote?” Why yes, and it’s from a lawyer!
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Flyers at Senators – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- Golden Knights at Capitals – 8:00PM | NBCSN
- NBA Preseason Basketball:
- Nets vs. Raptors – 7:00PM | TSN – from Montreal
- Pacers at Bulls – 8:00PM | ESPN
- Warriors vs. Lakers – 10:30PM | ESPN – from Las Vegas
- CONCACAF 2019 World Cup Qualifying Women’s Soccer:
- Trinidad and Tobago vs. U.S. – 7:30PM | FS1
- NCAA:
- Women’s College Volleyball:
- Penn State at Purdue – 7:00PM | ESPNU
- Georgia at LSU – 9:00PM | ESPNU
- Women’s College Volleyball:
- It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia – 10:00PM | FXX
- Imagine if Gritty was around when they started filming the season.
All this talk and no one bothered to check & see if you can trademark a shadow.
I STAND CORRECTED!
Don’t mind me. I just came to check my messages.
A lawyer says Nike made Kaep relevant. I wonder what’s his hourly rate for recency bias.
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=6rHWeDOJYDM
Lakers currently beating the Warriors in a preseason game definitely means we’re gonna win it all.
Lonzo Ball will be MVP, and LeBron seems like a decent player if he can fit in with SHOWTIME.
God help you all if the Lakers are good. I may become slightly obnoxious.
DFO SoCal meetup at a Lakers game?
Sure – who’s got the suite? It’s ok, regular tix are pretty cheap.
I presume you have access to Jack or Leo’s courtside seats
Jack is my uncle (far as he knows these days).
I have no decent connections at all for anything.
Mr. Meoff is welcome at any Lakers game.
“BETTER COACH: LUKE OR BABY BUSTER?! SPORTS IS A BUSINESS!”
-LA Sportstalk Radio Hosts
Define good? I don’t think anyone had the missing the playoffs.
It would be a welcome change if you downgraded to only “slightly” obnoxious.
Leeked….. video.
Spellcheck almost ruined that “joke.”
Did you get it from The Chive?
DAMNIT!!
That’s fucking impressive. She’s a keeper. 10/10
Flatbush.
*Pantyhose joke.
TCM Canada is showing Hammer Horror!
noice!
Can’t ever go wrong with Yvonne Furneaux and Valerie Leon. Ever.
PREACH BROTHA!!
That was a fucking terrible joke.
#damnititsonlyfuckingwednesday
If it makes you feel better, tomorrow is my Friday.
Arnie with the Player 2 controller.
I see Moose has landed on Predator .gifs, so that means we need bad Hawkins jokes.
Why’d you say it twice?
I didn’t.
I just Finished.
One of the bummers about Finland not making the World Cup is that I never got to tell my hookup story.
YOU CAN TELL IT UNLESS YOU ARE A SERIAL KILLER AND IT’S ABOUT PUTTING YOUR VICTIMS ON MEAT-HOOKS.
OK, either way you should tell it.
It’s kind of a long one, but…okay.
So I was in Amsterdam for a couple days on the tail end of my trip through Europe before I headed to South Africa. I thought it would be fun to take shrooms and go look at fish at the aquarium, which was at the city zoo. I got to the zoo, ate my shrooms, and decided it would be a good idea to empty my bladder while I still had my wits about me. While buttoning up, the button of my shorts popped off. Being at the zoo, surrounded by families with young children, with shorts that kept falling down was not something that was going to be okay.
So I communicated to the bathroom attendant my problem. She very helpfully managed to turn up a needle – a gigantic thing, like three inches long – and some thread, so I set to work fixing my button while the oncoming psychedelics hovered over my head like a black cloud. This did not set a good tone for the experience.
Once I was tripping, I spent maybe a half an hour looking at fish. Then I started to feel queasy. So I headed outside and found myself a spot on the lawn to relax a little bit. Within a few more minutes I threw up all over myself. I used the fleece I was wearing to bundle most of it up. I imagine I wasn’t as conspicuous as I felt, because nobody paid much attention to me, but I still felt like the biggest druggie on earth while I looked around at the families enjoying the zoo.
So I fled.
I went back to my hostel, tossing my vomit-encrusted fleece into a garbage can on the way. I got into bed and just laid there for hours, wishing for the drugs to wear off and the day to end. It took a very long time, because it was the summer solstice. It finally did. I suppose I got dinner at some point, and later on found myself playing a drinking game in the hostel dorm with a pair of young Irish guys and a pair of Finnish girls. After the game had escalated to a spin-the-bottle type equivalent, I ended up going to bed with one of the Finnish girls. Getting lucky was actually the last thing on my mind that evening, but sometimes the stars align, I guess.
HAPPY ENDING! That is a good one.
I had an allergic reaction to mushroom once, sweating, shivers, extreme tunnel vision and some vertigo…. at a Todd Rundgren concert. Pushed through it and then I had a giant headache. All the other times I took them there was the queasy sort of throw feeling for a few minutes, but then every time was a blast. At an Elvis Costello concert a friend and I took more than the group we were with and it was one of those things where people look at you like “Well, that was weird, dude.” and it encourages you to be even weirder to them. My friend and I had a great time. The exception was when the gates open and we were up front and the crowd was crushing me, not comfortable at all. Fucking while shrooming has always been fun too; “Whoa, whoa!”
P.S. not sure if I’m glad or not it didn’t turn out to be a serial killer story, bro.
TL;DR
-J. Manziel at playbook review
I took mushrooms once when I lived in Boulder. A crasher / friend brought some and we played cards (cribbage). We were drunk and he left. I was sleepy, but all I had in my brain was a vampire making pancakes on top of a cliff.
I really liked cribbage. We once spent 5 minutes laughing over NOBS. The nitrous, weed and beer helped.
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-russia-cats-caretaker-idUSKCN1MK24J
Somewhere, Jim Irsay is punching an imaginary Leprechaun after reading this and asking himself why he didn’t think of such a stupid banner award
https://www.bardown.com/the-predators-were-relentlessly-mocked-for-raising-a-regrettable-banner-in-home-opener-1.1189051
They already have the Presidents Cup banner, you’d think the others are givens, right?
Why did I say Cup?
Because it is a great place to put delicious soup or coffee.
Jim Irsay is just angry the Colts haven’t won the Presidents Trophy yet.
Were they a Presidents Trophy finalist?
What’s president’s cup?
“Florida suspends tolls on bridges and turnpikes.”
Well yeah. Because in the panhandle, half the toll booths are underwater and the other half were blown into Georgia.
Also on the vote thing; not easy I’m sure. In a red county it may not hold forth, but you made a statement. The cancer must be cut out, well, you don’t have access to radiation, so….
https://bleacherreport.com/articles/2800121-colts-matt-slauson-played-with-2-broken-vertebrae-could-have-been-paralyzed
This is why the NFLPA needs 2 stay week so they don’t bankrupt hardworking capitalists with there demands fore lifetime health insurance. Fucking commies ,, smh
Hehehehe….Empty netter.
Suck it again, Vegas.
The kids will be back; it’s college after all.
Definitely read that as, “McGruff,” and thought, “And only two weeks from retirement.”
Who needs to go tinkie poo poo?
OK, that was damn funny.
(i’m not gonna laugh at that, i’m not gonna laugh at that, i’m not gonna laugh at that)
I really would like to hang out with her.
That means two things.
h
ttps://images3.imgbox.com/d4/8b/GHn1qs2s_o.gif
LARGE gif of the hula
h
ttps://images3.imgbox.com/5b/5d/SMBqNqdG_o.gif
http://x.imagefapusercontent.com/u/kirstensknickers/4886944/718280290/HARD-2.gif
Oh yeah, totally offsides. NO GOAL!!!!!!
Ha, told ya. Suck it Vegas.
That would be $250, and even 300 with a finish finger.
[not someone from Finland BTW]
That’s just Seamus outside in January.
I swear to God. Braden Holtby needs to get on the bus with Buck Showalter and Dan Duquette.
Jeebus.
I honestly think this might be the best season yet. I find myself re-watching the live TV feed at 10:30 unless I am ridiculously sleepy. This is unheard of in the DVR era.
Scoctchnators lose 7-4; maybe they shouldn’t have traded away their 3 best defensemen in the last 6 months.
Goddammit Holtby!!!!! Now I gotta sweat this out.
Fucking global warming making everyone sweat like Joe West.
That was a beauty of an assist Kuznetzov to Ovie.
Holy shit.
I don’t know what that means and I most assuredly do not wish to know. This is not a question so please do not give an answer.
(Hippo breaks out the slide projector)
ah spoiler tagged it, motherfucker!! 😀
LMFAO
In the middle of the DC Archive Binge (looks at window, wonders where the Sun went).
I forgot how good John Shea was at playing Lex Luthor in Lois and Clark. There’s times where you almost start to root for the guy.
DC Archive Binge? Bitch set me up!
It costs $9 a month or $70 a year. But the connection is apparently powered by a 56k dial up modem.
Can you pay in crack rocks?
Marion Berry jokes will never not be funny to me.
ppl forget this Ovechkinn guy is pretty good
He is, but his time is limited.
Which I suppose is true for all of us.
Not for me, whoever runs this place wants to watch me suffer as long as I can therefore I will live forever, at least there is wine and weed.
I need to send you a photo of my plants growing buds. I think it’s too late to get much outta them, but I’m so excited they actually made it that far.
I’m bad at growing weed. But I’m getting better.
Yeah for sure. With legalization coming in a few days it will be interesting to see how it all shakes out up here.
Legalization. That’s funny. I’m in a red state.
I could go to jail for having these plants.
DON’T CARE!!!!!!!
I’m shocked how well he is playing this year. I thought this season would be an off year. He looks tubby (for him) and he partied like a pimp. Dude is freaky talented
A Russian athlete recovering at an unbelievable pace?
There is a show on the Smithsonian Network right now called Hippos After Dark.
NC strippers may be featured…
LMFAO
Is it sponsored by Vicodin?
Vicuprofen you heathen reprobate!!
Chuh chuh?
Say HAI to Macy/Maya FOAR me!!!
Alright, I did it. I voted. My first all-Buddy Childhood Football All Star ballot from Senator to Dogcatcher.
Get ready for President Herman Moore, bitches.
Ha! Ken Riley will shut him down like a Rotary Telephone!
Alright, I did it. I voted. My first All Democrat ballot, from Senator to County Commissioner. You guys better win this sumbitch.
Dramatic Reenactment of Me Casting My Vote at the County Board of Elections
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZKdKwEMYL4&t=10s
“ALL THE ABORTIONS FOR REDSHIRT!”
“BUT ONLY IF THE LIFE OF THE MOTHER OR CHILD IS AT RISK OR IF THE WOMEN’S RIGHT TO CHOOSE IN THE SEXUAL ACTION WAS COMPROMISED EITHER DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY!!!!”
(dead silence from the entire DFO Clubhouse – including the crickets)
That doesn’t rhyme.
Oh, sorry. Maybe next time.
It’s ok, not a crime.
In all serious, Democratic Party positions WILL result in fewer abortions than this new Taliban protocol that is the only alternative on offer. It’s why the cool Pope isn’t a “single issue voter” kind of guy, I suspect.
I agree. I support strengthened, unrestricted birth control. That should be taught in Sex Ed, right after abstinence and all painful details of being a teenage parent. If they survive the scare treatment, then teach them how to avoid getting a free runner at the quarterback.
Cool? FUCK this pope:
http://www.vanesglobalgist.com/vatican-city-pope-francis-likens-abortion-to-hiring-a-hitman/
https://extra.ie/2018/09/12/news/world-news/pope-blames-devil-abuse-cover-up-scandal
And that’s why I’m not Catholic. All people are born sinners. We have all sinned. Its in the Bible.
Per the Catholic church, I can’t go to Heaven without confessing my sins to priests. My sins and failings are between God and Jesus Christ who died so I could be forgiven. I don’t understand how some men inserted themselves between me and my God.
” Its in the Bible.” Has no relevance (to you it obviously does). The ridiculousness is why I posted it. The shifting of blame, the hint that revealing the sewer that is this scandal is also tied to a nonexistent being, rather than giving praise to those who have revealed it is beyond repulsive. Those involved with the abuse and those involved with the cover-up and shell game of moving pedophiles to a new place with fresh victims should be in jail.
Now on to dogs knocking over kids gifs.
Well, with the Catholic Church, men love to insert themselves into things that they don’t belong
Presumably the whole “confession” thing was an extortion racket. I don’t think it works that way anymore but I bet during the middle ages it was a good way for the kiddie-diddlers to build up some ammunition against having their own activities questioned.
It was a huge money maker.
Nobody took that celibacy shit seriously in Europe. It was pure enterprise thanks to the indulgences one could purchase to atone for all of those things one confessed to doing.
ah mean, it’s all relative. He’s a vast improvement. Still comes from the College of Cardinals, so you’ll find shit like this.
A meager Improvement, yes; still catholic. Not relative.
Congratulations. Planned Parenthood and Emily’s List and now more anti-abortion than you are (they’ve contributed tons of money to incumbent Blue Dogs who are flat-out “pro-life” because those orgs are run by scumbags).
I would have pictured it more like this, except less black….
(I am joking fwiw, you know I love ya)
“I would have pictured it more like this, except less black…”
Movie Reviews with David Duke never really got off the ground.
No. Before Kavanaugh, maybe.
Good work. A sincere thank you from someone shocked and appalled at the current state of political discourse and the bothsiderism lumping Democrats in with a party led by a man chanting “lock her up” about political opponents and complaining about due process for a supreme court nominee with no sense of irony.
My pleasure. I doubt any Buckeye Dem will win, but maybe the margins will be closer than normal.
You might be surprised. Days like today – the largest hurricane ever to hit the panhandle striking and a top-five all-time Dow drop – might wake people up to the fact that Trump screaming that everything is great doesn’t actually make it so.
One afternoon, stream the Bill Cunningham Show on 700 WLW between 12-3 Eastern. That will show you how Conservative this place is.
During the Kavanaugh hearings I experienced what I imagine right-wing talk-radio addicts feel like – just a constant sense of hatred and terror and fury and a desire to lash out. It was truly awful. I never want to feel that way again.
yeah, it scared me more than a little, despite my semi-rage Hippo Thoughts persona, ah am really not a violent mammal.
Yeah. There was a right way and a wrong way to handle it. They somehow found a way worse that the wrong way.
I am proud of you.
SAME, huzzah!
GIVE THAT MAN A WELFARE CHECK!
plus his sweet-ass Obamaphone!
Kuznetzov…what’d I tell ya? That dude is the shit.
“Do you think he’d be interested in a sponsorship?”
-Head of Marketing, Ex-Lax
“Eh. Steiner will stop him before he gets to the Reichstag.”
-A Hitler
2-1 Hottawa!
Update:
2-2 Not So Hottawa.
Update:
2-3 Room Temperatureottawa.
People that schedule 530 pm conference calls should be fired.
Either that or they must serve dinner. And not the cheap place your company always gets. At least a 4-star restaurant.
Wifey pickled red onions with a few jars of beets. That’s goddamn awesome in case you were wondering.
I have never been able to pickle red onions well. What’s her deal?
When I find out I’ll let you know.
Thought you all should know, blaxito has now slept 2 (TWO) nights in a row. I’m absolutely prepared for some regression (see: David Johnson) but I’m finding life much more liveable now that I’m able to, you know, rest a bit.
Also — good job on Q’s this week, all. 2018 is looking like a banner year for submissions. I wish we had an intern I could assign to go back and insert the winning* submissions on all the gifs with a watermark. THAT’s how we get our name out there!
*All funny submissions are winners in my book.
Decilitre has been getting up at 2 am every morning. Kill me.
“Can’t wake up at 2 AM if you go to bed at 3!” -Senor
I finally dropped Drew from my RSS feed. It had to be done.
Who, Magary?
Yeah, I avoided Deadspin but I still liked Jamboroo.
I understand none of this. Do tell, por FAVOR…
Drew does a weekend preview post during the season called the “Dick Joke Jamboroo” which was the only thing on Deadspin that wasn’t “woke TMZ” shit.
*Sighs*
**Goes to Ask Jeeves “woke TMZ”**
Love it – “woke TMZ” – plus a bunch of cover your ears Spur NBA nonsense. Which I guess is 75-80% woke TMZ in and of itself.
After he got the record-what’s the point?
Gonna head into negotiations for a new collective bargaining agreement soon-
What’s this shit-talk about a ‘living wage’? Everybody at work is living except for the ones that died. My mink track pants don’t pay for themselves, you know!
Man, one of our shops went union years back. The dipshit representing those workers was a complete fucking moron. Management didn’t even try to hide anything from the guy; he was just too stupid to see what was right in front of his face.
A year later the shop voted out the union representation and he took off with the monies.
Which is not too say I am anti-union — just, as with all things, be careful who you put your trust in (see: NFLPA).
Unions are only cool if it involves Dan Savage and his husband getting into a bitchy fight.
LOL’ing at “Wednesday Night Hockey”…!!!! As if it’s some sort of event.
It’s fucking Wednesday, Bettman.
Just wait until they start doing things like the NFL:
SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL KICKOFF SPECIAL (on a Thursday night)
While the #branding makes sense to me, it is still unbelievable dumb.
Hockey fans do like that Gary.
I cannot shake this cold/flu/plague. Why can’t Hibernol be real?
It can be if you mix in enough vodka.
I mean there’s Fentanol but that’s permanent.
We have a new hurricane which is supposed to roll thru tomorrow.
I think Imma get drunk as hell tonight.
These two things are only tangentially related.
/checks to make sure everything is charged up
//checks to make sure there’s enough vodka in the house
Neil Young is a lot like a hurricane. There’s calm in his eye.
THEY CAN’T ALL BE WINNERS!
Hehehehehe.
Sens up 1-0 on the Philadelphia Fluffers.
Henry Higgins: “Repeat after me, ‘The Rain in northern Ontario lies mostly in my basement’.”
Ms. Doolittle: “Yer a right loser, ain’t cha, gov.”
Hoser
Why the shit is the New York Times refering to Nikki Haley as moderate? She spent every minute of her time at the UN threatening innocent nations with war, terror and literally bullying and trying to blackmail (and miserably failing) the entire world into supporting her bullshit agenda dictated by Lockheed Martin.
Fucking words have no meaning. I guess the Browns are now Superb Owl contenders.
I would assume because she was fairly moderate until she started working for this administration. That’s long gone now though.
Fun fact: I met Nikki and her husband in 2011 at the Governor’s Mansion. I thought she was pretty cool at the time, but I also thought Bobby Jindal was one of the most down to earth politicians I had talked to (about a month prior,) so grain of salt and all that.
Keep in mind that at that level these folks are the political equivalent to NFL/NBA/MLB starters as athletes. Being impressed with their personability would be like encountering, say, Terry Rozier at a gym and walking away being impressed with how good of a basketball player he is.
I guess my point is that you shouldn’t be surprised to find yourself feeling that way.
You’re on point. Words have broken loose of their meanings and all media is speeding up the process.
“The Center Cannot Hold”? Whatever. There is no center anymore. There is only a win/lose zero sum game now.
/YAY!
Well obviously the Failing New York Times has to print Fake News like that. Sad.
At this point, it’s probably time for a newsroom to get #VegasStrong’d. They want to amplify relentless hate, then do it. Let them enjoy the consequences.
I’d put down $50 on CLE 2020 SB Participants.
Angela Davis still wears it better than Kaep.
Darnell Hillman wore it better.
/I was absolutely floored when Archer made a reference to him.
Flyers/Sens: Let The Magic Happen!
Magic – Doug Henning on the Muppets, or Magic – Houdini dies.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iNP_kLBfQ4