2018 Quotables – Week 5 (Results)

blaxabbath

blaxabbath

I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
blaxabbath

Latest posts by blaxabbath (see all)

NFL UK action kicks off this Sunday. We’re also into Spooktober and, assuming Fox didn’t bust him out last week, I assume we’ll start seeing the return of the robot with the jack-o-lantern head this weekend.

All just gimmicks, of course, to distract you from the on-field product.

Another good distraction? Quotables. As always, great performances all around. You all keep on producing these results content for free and I’m sure many of you are going to see this free exposure really pay off! Afterall, [YouTube Sensation] didn’t become [YouTube Sensation] overnight — though I’m sure you already know [his/her] story.

And with that, I’ve reached the word limit DTZM warned me to get back to meeting so below are your Week 5 Results!


“I WILL HUG HIM AND PET HIM AND SQUEEZE HIM AND CALL HIM JUJUBE.” -Petronel

“I’ve got three years invested in Brett Hundley, two years invested in Joe Callahan, the quarterback room is exactly where it needs to be, okay?” -BrettFavresColonoscopy

“This is why the NFL doesn’t like black QBs. They’re afraid they might have to fine a white man for hitting a black one.” -nomonkeyfun

“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like… tears in rain. Time to die.” -ArmedandHammered

“Finally, the NFL has replaced Tim Tebow as their kneeling Christian.” -Enrico Pallazzo

“’I’m not one to object to a man falling to the ground in front of a pair of feet, but…not like this, Blake. Not like this.’ – Rex Ryan” -Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“During the bye week, the spell holding together Fitzmagic slowly began to weaken, revealing him to be an unholy combination of Dalton and Tannehill.” -Downfield Matriculator

“I haven’t seen this many Chiefs play ‘Hot Potato’ since that last multi-jurisdictional officer involved shooting!” -LemonJello

 

blaxabbath
blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
Please Login to comment
6 Comment threads
14 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
12 Comment authors
clint greasewoodDoktor ZymmballsofsteelandfuryMoose -The End Is Well NighKing Hippo Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
Notify of
clint greasewood
clint greasewood

h

BrettFavresColonoscopy

THIS BFC, I CALL HIM THE 2018 CHICAGO BEARS OF QUOTABLES BECAUSE HE’S OFF TO AN INEXPLICABLE HOT START AND WILL INVARIABLY SHIT THE BED SOMETIME VERY SOON

King Hippo

all of y’all doubters of The Prophecy just sicken me.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

Downfield Matriculator
Downfield Matriculator

As a long time mostly lurker/occasional commenter here (and at KSK before), I am unreasonably proud of the recognition — easily my signature accomplishment this week (month?).

Thanks, all, and keep up the excellent dick jokery

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

comment image

King Hippo

Spooktober?? How about a no ofence ,, smh

LemonJello
LemonJello

/Bill Parcells looks over the top of his newspaper
“Oh, Spook? I misheard you.”

nomonkeyfun

Uh oh. Peter Thiel might be coming to sue Internet Dad soon.

https://deadspin.com/1829709453

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Welcome to the party, Downfield Matriculator! Beers are in the fridge.

yeah right

As long as you’re in there grab one for me too.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Since you’re making a trip, can you get one for me?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Yes. Me want two beers.”

LemonJello
LemonJello

Is it speak like THE BEN day in the clubhouse?

Downfield Matriculator
Downfield Matriculator

Thanks, sounds like maybe we’ll need a keg based on the responses (and past history)