Your “Calling All Bitches & Sires” Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Mike Florio is already sounding the death knell for the AAF.
    • Likely because he’s a dick.
    • He claims it needs stars to survive, because low attendance in some markets means that the league needs to make exceptions in order to put butts in seats.
      • The rumours are that Steve Spurrier reached out to Tim Tebow, and that Johnny Manziel is happy & under contract in Canada.
  • New Dolphins head coach Brian Flores has brought in Jim Caldwell to be his QBs coach.
    • Despite his Detroit head coaching experience, he has managed to win Super Bowl rings as the QB coach in Indianapolis & Baltimore.
  • It looks like the Raiders have turned tail & reached out to Oakland for the 2019 season.
    • I wouldn’t want to pay rent to Jed York either.
    • They have entered into lease negotiations, with the City’s lawsuit being one of the major impediments to getting a deal done.

Finally, the Brown have signed Kareem Hunt to a one-year deal.

  • For 
    • Subject to being placed on the Commissioner’s Exempt list, pending likely suspension.
    • But he’s “committed” to earning the Browns’ & Haslams’ trust.
  • If he does end up playing this year, Hunt becomes a restricted free-agent at the end of the 2019 season.

Twitter had opinions,

   

with one guy seeing the true big picture.


The 2019 Westminster Kennel Club dog show is on tonight & tomorrow at 7:00PM ET. It’s on FS1 in the US & NatGeo in Canada.

All day Monday & Tuesday they have & had live streaming of the individual breed categories. You can find your favourite to follow at this link.

There are two new breeds appearing at Westminster this year, bringing the number of breeds & varieties represented to 203. This year’s first-timers are the Nederlandse kooikerhondje

and the Grand basset griffon Vendeen.

Unless either one was owned by Gary Bettman, they aren’t winning in their first season.

Monday night is the Group Judging across Hound, Toy, Non-Sporting and Herding groups. Tuesday has the Group Judging across Sporting, Working and Terrier groups, followed by Best In Show. Tuesday is more the [DFO] night, as it has both Beerguyrob’s favourite, the Bernese Mountain

and the [DFO] mascot breed, the Boerboel.

The Sunday highlight was the agility training, won by some inbred Border Collie. But the real highlight was Rudy the Bulldog having the time of his life,

leading to an outpouring of love & attention on Twitter, with one guy in particular eyeing a team looking to go even smaller at Wide Receiver.


Tonight’s sports: (non-dog)

  • NHL: the Canucks are a regional broadcast tonight.
    • Penguins at Flyers – 7:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Nets at Raptors – 7:30PM | Sportsnet1
      • An excellent opportunity for Canadian [DFO] readers to catch up on all the characters from our award-adjacent series, “Infinite Nets”.
    • Mavericks at Rockets – 8:00PM | TSN3 / NBATV
  • NCAA:
    • Men’s
      • Virginia at *North Carolina – 7:00PM | ESPN
      • Kansas at TCU – 9:00PM | ESPN
      • Oklahoma at Baylor – 9:00PM | ESPN2
    • Women’s
      • South Carolina at Connecticut – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • NCAA Hockey:
      • Beanpot Championship – Boston College vs. Northeastern – 7:30PM | TSN2 / NESN
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • It’s “Wrestlemania season”, as the Dub builds up to the Big Card.

Went one-for-two in the online ticket ordering today. McCartney – yes; AEW “Double of Nothing” – no. HE BETTER NOT DIE!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A lot of GOOD BOYS!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just back from softball. First time in years. Lady BFC and I and a bunch of strangers. We got our asses kicked. Going to be sore AF tomorrow. Still fun.

ballsofsteelandfury

Santa Monica league? I’ve played that. It’s fun but some people get way too competitive…

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Fronkenshteen

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Fronkenshteen

I’d like to kill the creep that broke the freakin’ mirror!
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

h

ttp://i.imgur.com/yssmr9V.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Stupid sexy corgi.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Wow did the dog show turn into an NHRA drag race?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Pomona! Where the only judge is the clock.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve been there for the Winternationals! That shit is LOUD!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“WHAT?”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I went to the finals last year.

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Awesome! I always go to the one up here in Seattle. Love those machines.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Apparently after the race they give away used tires if you ask for one
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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A dog has to leave his mark in the world.

Col. Duke LaCross

The bouvier looked like Cousin It.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Ye, happy birthday.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Here’s a Lockheed L-188 Electra water-bomber taking off in Castlegar, British Columbia.

The Electra was one of the most advanced aircraft of the 1950s, with astonishing handling and performance, enormous power and speed, smooth riding and comfortable, and easy to maintain. Its only drawback was that under the right conditions its wings would fall off, which ended its run as a passenger liner.

After Lockheed fixed that particular problem the aircraft enjoyed a long career as a Navy patrol plane, the P-3 Orion, which remains in service today over 50 years later.

It’s still one of the greatest aircraft ever. Watch this bad boy take off:

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The WKC is a sham until they recognize the superiority of Newfies

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

I read that as the WRC.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Takes longer to talk about it than it does to do it.”

[she chuckles]

WCS

Senor Weaselo

Cavs beat the Knicks in a game I’m absolutely positive nobody really wanted to win.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m listening to a song that says, “I’m a pancake bitch but I take the cake. I’m gooey in the middle baby, let me bake. ”

I’ve no idea what that means.

Senor Weaselo

She’s a hot chick even though she’s flat?

ballsofsteelandfury

Right? Makes no sense.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Fuck that. There are plenty of hot, flat women.

ballsofsteelandfury

Outside of Kiera Knightley, can you provide visual evidence?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hot A-cup woman all over. Or is your motivation just to get more posted?

ballsofsteelandfury

Duh!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Got it….. pancake tits is used in my part of the world to describe saggy [when they lay down they turn into pancakes]. I’m not sure if the lyrics refer to that because…old.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Boner makes a circle.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Damn Kate Hudson rabbit hole.

So to speak.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

She’s saying she’s flat, steals bakery goods, has vaginal discharge and would therefore like to smoke weed. It’s pretty straightforward for those of us with “cred” and/or “fly threads”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

742

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The bulldog really is the small, gritty white guy of dogs.

herodotus450
herodotus450

California, long the hotbed of filthy federalist Democrats, has two sprots franchises named “The Kings.” It was right there in front of us all along people!

King Hippo

and NAWT ONE refers to Our Lord and Saviour JEEBUS ,, smh

Sharkbait

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Use postimages.org

Sharkbait

Did exactly that after I realized it was an imgur link

herodotus450
herodotus450

Kings apparaently have a (new?) players by the name of Fantenberg. Or “Oh Yes The Virtuous Fanten!” as I like to call him

SonOfSpam

His family owns the flavored soda company,

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

And that flavored soda was invented by the Nazis in 1940.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fanta

SonOfSpam

Huh.

ballsofsteelandfury

Heh, that’s stretching it, but I’m as happy as the next guy to make a totally inappropriate Nazi Grape Fanta joke.

herodotus450
herodotus450

That explains the 6 million bottle limited edition run of matzo Fanta they did back then.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So hit the showers AFTER a soda?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It was invented by Coca-Cola for the Nazis.

ballsofsteelandfury

Technically, for the German market.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

My favorite part:

“After the war, The Coca-Cola Company regained control of the plant, formula, and the trademarks to the new Fanta product—as well as the plant profits made during the war.”

Because of course they did.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

“America is capitalist and always will be.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nederlandse kooikerhondje

This totally sounds pornographic, right?

SonOfSpam

Especially if you say it in a Scooby voice.

ballsofsteelandfury

Never Scrappy though. Scrappy can DIAF.

We all hated Scrappy, right?

Game Time Decision

Saw that the Hallmark channel has a bunch of Valentines movie coming up. I assume that these are the same as the xmas movies, just replace Xmas with Valentines and the plots remain the same
Is scotchy reviewing these too.
/ not volunteering

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

It’s like writing Christian rock music (replace “my baby” with “Jesus”)

SonOfSpam

Plus it’s the exact same audience.

WCS

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SonOfSpam

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Never figured out the appeal of Christian music radio. I mean, I love my mother, but I don’t think I could bear a radio station playing songs about her all day and all night.

SonOfSpam

Anyone wanna compile a “VLTR’s Mother” playlist?

Game Time Decision

POD
Also possible future request line theme.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

These so-called Christians are idiots, my dude.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Sometimes I don’t get how much everyone hates the Pats, then I watch the Panguins for two periods, and I get it.

SonOfSpam

Pittsburgh Pangolins?
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Wow I totally want to kill that and eat it.

SonOfSpam

I am totally ok with the death penalty for killing endangered animals. As long as I get to administer it in whatever manner I decide.

ballsofsteelandfury

You’ll kill a cheetah that eats an endangered turtle?

Tough, but fair.

SonOfSpam

Cheetah should know what’s legal and what’s, uh, cheeting.

herodotus450
herodotus450

In a few more hundred million years of plate techtonics the two cities might have merged into one mega-hell-scapeopolis and they will be the Patsburgh Panguinoliers

Ian Scott McCormick

Joe Harris hit 6 threes in a half and didn’t do the Jordan shrug. You dork. Why can’t I be a showboating athlete?

Game Time Decision

Raptors cold from the field until late in the second

SonOfSpam

The fuck kind of name is that for an NBA star? Sounds like a plumber. WHO PROBABLY OVERCHARGES ME BECAUSE HE THINKS I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT PLUMBING.

Redshirt
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

You do know that CNN is run by Jeff Zucker, the guy who put Trump on The Apprentice and made him famous? The guy who literally sees politics as nothing but a sport and entertainment and CNN as existing to earn ratings and money, not actually to inform the public? Because that’s is the exclusive of CNN now and probably forever. Fuck Ted Turner for selling it to Warner. It wasn’t actually dogshit until 20 years ago with that sale.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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SonOfSpam

CAREFUL PETS – THE SMOOTH TASTE WILL FOOL YOU!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Look what someone left in the little library cabinet where I walk my dog!
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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Got that for, like, $2 on Kindle. Could not finish. Which is weird, since I like his columns on DS and GQ.

Redshirt

Guys, I heard something online and for all intents and purposes and lack of options, you guys/gals/various-thereupon have become my truth filter and conscience.

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/02/07/ocasio-cortezs-green-new-deal-offers-economic-security-for-those-unwilling-to-work.html

So…”unwilling to work”? I’m perfectly fine with helping someone who for whatever reason can’t work, but having me pay for someone who won’t work? I know I said I’m willing to vote Democrat in ’20, but you gotta work with me!

This a typo? Am I having a very localized stroke? Is this part of Ashton Kutcher’s most elaborate and best Punk’d attempt ever? What’s going on?

SonOfSpam

I think we’re looking at semantics here; the actual proposal does not include “unwilling” as noted here in the article: The actual resolution that outlines the Green New Deal does not include the “unwilling to work” part, but the overview document, released by New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s office, does include the “unwilling” language. The overview entails the “nuts and bolts” of the plan. Ocasio-Cortez identifies as a democratic socialist.

But we also have to face the unpleasant truth that some people on unemployment, or on welfare, or on daddy’s trust fund just don’t want to work. So what do we do with them? What if they have children? Is the guy who’s unwilling to work any more of a drain on society as the veteran with PTSD who can’t hold down a regular job? And most importantly, of course, how do we determine the difference? I bet a real solid percentage of Trump’s idiot brigade are lazy assholes collecting welfare. So how do we keep them off the dole while taking care of the single mother who is trying but just can’t catch a break job-wise?

Somewhere in this whole topic is the argument for a “basic income” that is currently being implemented in some Euro countries. A poor person who gets some help from the government spends that money in the community and helps stimulate the economy. The tax cuts for millionaires ain’t doing shit for the rest of us.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I don’t want to work. This plan speaks to me.

SonOfSpam

Plus, who would you rather sex up…AOC or Mitch McConnell? Yeah, thought so.

Redshirt

But Mitch stay hard all night!!!

Get it!? Because he’s a turtle?! He’s a…

(taps microphone) Hello? This thing on?

Redshirt

Good points. Unfortunately, Entitlement Reform is one of the things that can only be fixed when the grown ups are in the room and the extremists have returned back to their YouTube pages and websites like Conservative Wikipedia (sadly I found that this weekend; it was gross and disgusting and I couldn’t look away).

It just seemed like the rubberband was snapping too far the other way. The Green New Deal is important, but you don’t want to ruin it with a poison pill like this.

But if work becomes optional, sign my ass up!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Entitlement reform only needs to happen to the extent that payroll taxes are eliminated and brought in line with all other revenues sources (which also means increasing fucking taxes), the retirement age is lowered to 60 or 55, and Medicare is made universal, obviating the need for Medicaid and that whole New Federalism bullshit.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s a pretty obvious attempt from the market-humpers at CNBC to get you riled up. Note how little they quote from the actual proposal (overview or resolution) except for the inflammatory part?

SonOfSpam

Hey, they said some good things about a stock that coincidentally just went up because the panel just bought a bunch of it before they talked it up and…wait, I think I see how it works now.

Redshirt

But I thought CNBC was on your side? Aren’t they Liberal?

SonOfSpam

LOL yeah stock traders are notoriously leftist

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No, that’s MSNBC. CNBC is Consumer News and Business Channel. So they are going to report things from a pro-business perspective. I’m not saying that AOC’s proposal throws money at people who are unwilling to work (if it does, sign me up) but the answer to that question is to be found in the actual proposal.

Redshirt

So they’re NBC but they’re not? Huh.

SonOfSpam

“NBC” isn’t inherently liberal. They found a formula that works on MSNBC, but CNBC has an entirely difference audience. NBC Sports Network is also not liberal.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

All the NBC networks are owned by NBCUniversal, which in turn is owned by Comcast, which started in 1963 as a local cable company in Tupelo, Mississippi, and is still controlled by the Roberts family.
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

And before that it was owned by the notorious peaceniks and commies at General Electric.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Same with Fox and Fox News. The Simpsons writers’ room is as Ivy League liberal as you’ll find (well, it used to be; not sure how it is these days).

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

CNBC is where the Tea Party got it’s start after Obama was elected.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/when-cnbc-created-the-tea-party

Redshirt

If that is true, then this clip accurately expresses my feelings.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

CNBC is the news channel for libertarians. They’re full of shit.

SonOfSpam

I could never be a dog show judge. LOOKIT THE PUPPIES IT’S A MILLION-WAY TIE FOR FIRST!!!

King Hippo

Where are the cats? RACISTS!! – Judge Hippo

Redshirt

“Where’s the pot and stove?” – Iron Chef Korea

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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SonOfSpam

Who gave him the Olestra treat?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Redshirt

You have to feel for those trainers. All that hard work, money and effort, just to watch you dog take a shit.

King Hippo

Of course my mind went here:

SonOfSpam

We also would have accepted:

Wakezilla

Question for lesser footy fans:

Juventus is signing Ramsey for £400k/week. How the hell have they not broken FIFA’s financial fair play rule yet?

King Hippo

Like tax laws, FFP doesn’t really apply to the upper class.

/just try to enter the closed shop as a middle-class side and see wha happen

SonOfSpam

Speaking of tax laws, really happy my mortgage interest deduction is limited – thanks assholes!

Summer vacation in Capri now changed to Spokane.

King Hippo

Everybody has been texting this week: Done your taxes yet? Prepare to be fucked in the ass.

Thanks a lot “they’re both equally awful” assholes!

SonOfSpam

“I mean, I just COULDN’T vote for Hillary.” Yeah, fuck you eternally.

Sharkbait

Have any corgis been featured in the show?
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rockingdog
rockingdog

Those look like some ROCKING DOGS!!!!
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