Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well NighBugEyedBooThurberHerderblackroseMD1yeah right Recent comment authors
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

“Hey baby, put the bird cage on your head. Oooh yeah, that’s the stuff . . .”

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Got home just in time to see the end of the Nevada-SDSU game. Aztecs up by 12 with 3 to go

I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Biggest ranked win in SDSU history. B-e-a-utiful!
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s pretty much the only dance move I have, not as much knee bend, but the concept is the same.

herodotus450
herodotus450

I haven’t seen a Chicago collapse like this since 1906 (or whenever). Hawks blow a 4-1 lead, Wings tie it at 4 with a minute left in regulation.

Horatio Cornblower

They kicked that one away like they were Mrs. O’Leary’s cow.

ThurberHerder
ThurberHerder

Sick burn bro

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I tried out for Jeopardy! a while back. It was in a hotel conference room in Culver City, and they had three podiums and the same buzzers used in the show so you could learn the timing (you can’t buzz in too early). When my group went up I swept the board and everyone was impressed. I even got a big round of applause from my fellow candidates. But in the end, the producers told me that I was “too good” and also “too handsome” for the show and that I’d make the others look bad, and that even though I was behind a podium everyone could tell that I had an enormous cock and it would frighten certain audience members. So they didn’t pick me.

Senor Weaselo

I had a friend on, and in the interview portion he talked about how he rappelled into the dining hall at Brown one time. It made The Soup!

Redshirt

Everyone says I should try out for Jeopardy, because I’m so smart. What people don’t realize is that having a Very High IQ doesn’t mean jack shit if you don’t have the knowledge to back it up.

Also, unlike you, my copilot within my boxers wouldn’t have any influcence in the game.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I have gotten that in the past as well. Knowing my luck, the categories would be Opera, The Bible, and TV Trivia, three things I have no knowledge of or interest in, and I would bomb out miserably. Gimme summa dat geography and history and I’d be fine.

Horatio Cornblower

I was picked for Jeopardy back in ’98, so score one for the ugly guys with small dicks, I guess.

BugEyedBoo
BugEyedBoo

Me too! “What is ‘button on a fur coat’?”

yeah right

My tryout was at Sony studios on Washington and I thought I nailed it. It was 50 questions with like 10 seconds between questions. It was Alex Trebek prerecorded reading the questions to about 100 potential contestants. I missed maybe 5.
Hydroponics was definitely one and Pete Rose was another and I still haven’t forgiven myself for missing a baseball question. They selected 5 out of our group to move on and the walk back to the parking structure was as close as I’ll get to the Bataan death March.

I studied so much Shakespeare and Opera that I still remember it.

Fuck.

yeah right

The answer was “This hit king naturally leads baseball in the total number of at bats.”

I fucking panicked and my brain went to the iron man Lou Gehrig.
I know. I know.

Senor Weaselo

Nice of St. John’s to continue to play up/down to their conference competition.

rockingdog
rockingdog

last funny:
Carl Sagan, LSD and DOLPHINS

rockingdog
rockingdog
BugEyedBoo
BugEyedBoo

Atari 800 or GTFO.

Wakezilla

Took ToddlerZilla to the library and she began playing with other kids. When one girl, about 5, saw ToddlerZilla’s Wonder Woman shoes, she said how she is going to be Supergirl for Halloween and that she’s now Supergirl, then started to begin doing Supergirl noises. Her brother, about 7, declared himself Spiderman and made Spiderman noises.

Catching on to the roleplaying, ToddlerZilla stepped on a chair, raised her arms in the sky and yelled, “I’m Gorilla Grodd!” and jumped off the chair. . .

I’m clearly raising my child right.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I don’t spend much time around children and am unfamiliar with some of the things that you must deal with. What exactly are Supergirl and Spider-Man “noises?”

Wakezilla

Flying sounds, sounds like pow pow, etc

Redshirt

Early favorite for 2019 Parent of the Year!

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Just noticed this physical characteristic. Wonder if it’s a genetic thing or if they’re related somehow.
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nomonkeyfun

Don’t you dare insult my lesbian celebrity crush like that.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Hey, all the more space for hickeys during the MFF three-way.

Redshirt

Chris Hemsworth is doing a movie as Hulk Hogan. He does know what Hulk did right?

Wakezilla

He’s hoping that part is kept in so he can freely say the n-word without reprocussion

Redshirt

Its almost like a Secret Test of Character.

If someone apologizes before and after saying that words in character or looks like he’s about to throw up – they’re a good person playing a role of a deeply flawed, racist person.

If someone doesn’t seem like they have a problem after saying those words in character – they probably are a deeply flawed, racist person.

Gratliff

It’s all the stories about Leo needing pep talks from Black cast members before saying crazy racist shit in Django Unchained when no one was asking for them

Redshirt

They said the same thing about Don Ameche in Trading Places when he dropped an N-bomb and F-bomb. He would go and apologize to everyone before he filmed the scenes.

rockingdog
rockingdog

LOL!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

That bridge was later punished:
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Don’t forget: Bizzare Foods premieres in 3 days

Redshirt

Okay. That destroys the supports above the water but what about below the surface.

What’s going to stop someone from driving a jet ski, hitting the old support and going thrown airborne?

Gratliff

It’s a feature, not a bug

Senor Weaselo

Will they do the James Bond flip? Asking for a friend. Of a friend.

Y’know, me.

Redshirt

No, but they might go splat against a new bridge if the speed and angle is right.

Horatio Cornblower

Nothing.

The Darwin Awards need some help every now and again.

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:
[while getting pepper sprayed in the face by the police] what flavor is that

Game Time Decision

Future “House of Pain” post?

Senor Weaselo

Hey, I was gonna say that!
/After I actually catch up on the backlog
//In April, after the Expo since I’m booked for March

Gratliff

Finally got around to watching the Carlson interview that got leaked. I thought the sound clip was just a little aside at the end of an exchange, but no, it’s fucking 8 minutes of Tucker eating shit until he comes completely unraveled. It’s so good.

Gratliff

And on tonight’s show:
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litre_cola

Weed Zombies? Are you fucking kidding me?

Gratliff

I’m sorry, but the only way we’re gonna end your addiction is a bullet to the head. Hate to have to do this to you, but

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herodotus450
herodotus450

Insatiable Hunger? Check
Apparent Brainlessness? Check
Stumbling everywhere whilei mumbling nonsense about communism? Check
I don’t know, dude has a point.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll thank you not to talk about my wife, sir.

Redshirt

(sigh)

If you or your viewpoints cannot stand scrutiny or debate, either you or your viewpoints are in fault.

Horatio Cornblower

I saw that today. it was glorious. “You’re a millionaire being paid by billionaires.”

While I’m not enjoying the book ‘Dark Money’, because it just points out that the Kochs and their ilk are really evil and really really rich, and I already know that, I am going to finish hate reading it, because I do not deserve happiness.

Redshirt

The flu I had in November is back for a Return Engagement. I didn’t ask for a curtain call.

Game Time Decision

That blows. Get better soon

litre_cola

Same!!!! Been super ill for 2 days, and had the exact same bug in November.

Horatio Cornblower

Get checked and make sure it’s not pneumonia. I had that several years ago and initially thought it was the flu being more stubborn than usual.

it was probably 3-4 months before I felt 100%

Redshirt

I did last time, but that was mostly because I had no urge to eat or drink for three days and I lost 10 pounds that time, to the point where my Digestive System shut down. The doctor said it was no concern and to keep doing what I was doing.

Currently its all upper respiratory. so I’m hoping its just Cold. First sore throat, now its congestion. I’m already on Tyenol Head+Cold but I may upgrade to DayQuil/NyQuil if this persists to Friday. That’s how I slayed this beast last time.

Ian Scott McCormick

I had a friend with that a few years ago. I told him “Could be pneumonia,” he shrugged it off for a few days. Then he had it looked at and I was right.
I felt like Dr. House. Except I nailed it on the first go.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Football talking guy talking about hockey just used the phrase “radar powered sonar” I think.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Otherwise I think he’s been pretty good

rockingdog
rockingdog

spotted!

rockingdog
rockingdog

Do the sharks play tonight?
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herodotus450
herodotus450

100 years from now in some kind of space-hospital, Patrick “Citizen” Kane, unable to leave because no taxi will serve him, whispers “stick side” and dies, and no one know what he meant.

Gratliff

He meant rape

Game Time Decision

I hope Drake can’t decide who to pick and develops some sort of condition where he can no longer go out in public and then pulls all of his music.
/ what
// yes I hate his music

Senor Weaselo

I saw him at my school in 2009 right as he was getting big. He was shit.

SonOfSpam

“Why don’t you go fuck yourself, you tiny brained—and I hope this gets picked up, because you’re a moron. I tried to give you a hearing, but you were too fucking annoying.”

– Judge Amy Berman, in her mind, when she sees Roger Stone tomorrow

Redshirt

…while his attorney explains that posting Her Honor’s picture isn’t violating a Gag Order, let alone one with crosshairs next to it.

Fronkenshteen

Gonna watch a bit of each nhl game tonight. I’m nearly ready for my first worthless hockey post.

litre_cola

Ice Bombers MUST beat Ice Donks. Ice Tits are rumoUred to be getting Duchene.

Gratliff

I hope this new Hogan film covers him saying he wouldn't want his daughter to date a black man. Not because he's a racist bell end who deserves to be called out on it, but because he said it in his sex tape I want to see Chris Hemsworth fucking.

— Andrew Southern (@apsouthern) February 21, 2019

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Gratliff

CHRIS HEMSWORTH YOU JABRONI I SWEAR TO JESUS I SUPLEX YOU WHEN I SEE YOU REMEMBER WHO MAKE THE HULKAMANIA AND IS THE REAL LEGEND OF THE EARTH

— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) February 20, 2019

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Gratliff

THE PRO WRESTLING IS THE REAL THE JUSSIE SMOLLETT IS THE FAKE

— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) February 20, 2019

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Senor Weaselo

Oh, Sheik is riffing today.

blackroseMD1

God, I love Sheik.

litre_cola

4k for a ticket to Dook v Tar heels ticket tonight. Wow.

Ian Scott McCormick

A ticket is one thing. But a ticket to get a ticket? Outrageous.

litre_cola

Will not fix. I have the flu and was wrangling a toddler. Ticket for a ticket it is.

SonOfSpam

Ticketception has begun

Game Time Decision

Dan Snyder is going to use this idea

Horatio Cornblower

How much to nail the exit doors shut and start a fire?

Senor Weaselo

And then Zion blew a shoe out on the first play and tweaked his knee.

herodotus450
herodotus450

I forget, how big a block is too big a block of cheese to eat for dinner?

litre_cola

No such thing my internet friend.

herodotus450
herodotus450

But I thought there was a chance my (gastrointestinal) tract could bend.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

What about the dairy-free slobs?

litre_cola

I feel for you. If I couldnt have wine and cheese I would probably rage kill.

SonOfSpam

Old cheese still gets cracked and broken.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Hey, sometimes it’s worth having the Bellagio coming out of your ass.

litre_cola

My week thus far.