2019 [DFO] Banner Tournament: First Round, Day 12

Senor Weaselo

Senor Weaselo

Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn’t doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn’t happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
Senor Weaselo

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Day 12 of the first round? What is this, Christmas?

Yes, clearly Blax is better than this than I am, since he made the banner and thus that banner will be available for the 2020 tournament (and he is assured of at least one entry), assuming the ratings get us renewed. Speaking of, BattleBots has officially been renewed on Discovery and Science, so even though the tournament was official and some pillock (me) made the obligatory first “LA MACHINE CONFIRMED” joke when they used the pioneering middle/heavyweight as a template for the confirmed robots as they’ll get shown (and hey, they liked the joke), we know what station it’ll be on and the BattleBots Beat will return! (Also, as a bookkeeping note, after this tournament will come a slightly delayed Bugglebots Beat, and a quick dip into the House of Pain backlog before the 2019 Expo later in April, if you’re that interested in what I have to write, and if you are, then when did Senorita Weaselo find this website? I don’t think I ever sent her anything.)

So now we’re up to the BOLTMAN Region, the fourth and final region in the bracket, with the first two matchups in the quadrant.

First Round, BOLTMAN Region

  • 16. “THESE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS I CALL THEM ROBERT MULDOON, BECAUSE THEY GOT EATEN ALIVE BY THE RAPTORS.” (62%, 21 Votes)
  • 1. “[Is] there also a Cripso’s on another corner in Compton?” (38%, 13 Votes)

Total Voters: 34

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First Round, BOLTMAN Region

  • 9. “‘Punch and Pie’ perfectly encapsulates Johnny Manziel’s philosophy on dating.” (53%, 18 Votes)
  • 8. “Just think what Dan Snyder could do with the name ‘Redblacks.’” (47%, 16 Votes)

Total Voters: 34

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Six first-round matchups left. We’ve almost survived the first round, the seemingly endless slog! So go vote! You know you want to!

Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
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Rikki-Tikki-DeadlyWakezillaMoose -The End Is Well NighblaxabbathLemonJello Recent comment authors
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Wakezilla

I like the Raptors quote, but, the Raptors always get their shit pushed in by the Cavs in the playoffs

blaxabbath

I think the (9) may go deep if it can avoid some matchup nightmares.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

It’s good, but it may not survive the first round

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That sounds like a marketing tagline for Tinder.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So I’m looking at Derek Carr’s cap numbers and it’s only a dead cap of $5 million if they cut him next year. All of a sudden the prospect of drafting Kyler Murray doesn’t seem so far-fetched after all.

https://www.spotrac.com/nfl/oakland-raiders/derek-carr-14445/

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think you may be………… short on information.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

THIS FIRST ROUND OF THE BANNER BRACKET I CALL IT MILTON BERLE BECAUSE, WELL, YOU KNOW

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Because it’s presenting lots of funny jokes?

Don T

Because it’s a hothead and slave-driver?

SonOfSpam

Because it appeared in a Ratt video?

nomonkeyfun

Because it likes to wear a dress?

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

This just confirms we’re all terrible people, and I love it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ooh, barnburner so far.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Barns? No, it’s crosses, stupid!” – Riley Cooper

Horatio Cornblower

Please don’t dickstep my Josh Allen jokes in the upcoming draft preview.

nomonkeyfun

“I hate getting dick stepped.”

-V. Shiancoe

LemonJello
LemonJello

Fun Fact: “Barn Burner” is the easiest way to cook enough meat for Andy Reid’s breakfast