Your “Gonna Avoid Puns Today” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Not as lucky is Jets WR Quincy Enunwa, who is out for the season with a neck injury.
    • To fill the gap, the Jets acquired wide receiver Demaryius Thomas from the New England Patriots on Tuesday.
      • Likely just before the Patriots would have decided they might need a spare WR or two.

Obviously, the big news of the day is the allegations against Antonio Brown.

  • ESPN boils the claim down to, “[t]he alleged incidents have left Taylor suffering “near-daily panic attacks and suicidal ideations,” per the lawsuit. She is seeking in excess of $75,000.
  • People are already disparaging the charges because she didn’t go to the police & instead is pursuing civil remedy.
    • According to PFT, Brown’s lawyer, Darren Heitner, has issued a detailed statement that admits to the existence of a sexual relationship between Brown and the plaintiff, Britney Taylor, but denies any wrongdoing on Brown’s behalf. The lawyer’s statement calls the lawsuit a “money grab.”
    • The lawyer goes further and alleges Brown was approached by Taylor in 2017, according to Heitner, about making a $1.6 million investment in a business project. But he declined.
  • It’s business as usual up in Foxborough:

  • “Sources” say the league is considering whether to place Brown on the Commissioner’s Exempt list as early as this Sunday.
    • The League will meet with Brown’s accuser next week, which is as soon as she can as she is getting married before then.


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Atlanta at Philadelphia – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Red Sox at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Cubs at Padres – 10:00PM | ESPN / TSN
  • WNBA Playoff:
    • Phoenix Mercury at Chicago Sky – 8:00PM | ESPN2 / Sportsnet1
    • Minnesota Lynx at Seattle Storm – 10:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
  • Women’s College Volleyball:
    • Oregon at Pittsburgh – 8:00PM | ESPNU
  • MLS:
    • NYCFC vs. Toronto FC – 7:00PM | TSN4
    • Colorado vs. LA Galaxy – 9:00PM | TSN5

As has been said elsewhere, it’s the 18th anniversary of 9/11 – too old for Roy Moore & not old enough to become a Trump wife. Enjoy your awkward stage, baby.

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Senor WeaseloUnsurprisedBuddy Cole's Halftime Show!BeerguyrobALXMAC Recent comment authors
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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

I don’t think Antonio Brown did it.

It was Gruden who called Mayock a cracker.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Do we need a refresher for the non lawyers on how long it can take to fully prepare a lawsuit?

Odd timing my entire fat ass.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

People are already disparaging the charges because she didn’t go to the police & instead is pursuing civil remedy.

Oh. And these “people” can eat shit and die.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Gah. I hate today I hate the narcissism of performative memorials by people who weren’t affected. I hate that it’s been so long there’s two generations who don’t know how big a bunch of cunts we became because people were too ignorant to know better. I hate the ball washing for the war criminals who used it to start and have continued our forever war. I hate everyone and everything about today because people fucking suck and the funniest part is that once the clock strikes midnight everyone will forget and stop caring and keep letting all the stupid shit that led to it and resulted from it continue because, again, people fucking suck. Everything sucks. It always has and always will.

At least NFL bullshit doesn’t really matter.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I also hate that I’m still the same piece of shit I was 18 years ago.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

Bad bad Tony Brown
baddest accused rapist in NFL town

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Yer not wrong except the height:

Col. Duke LaCross

New Ghost, kinda.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Not new, but not #content:

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening. I’m spent and it’s fucking Wednesday

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

HSIOW

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

Yes, I hit my stride after 11 because I have a night job and I made a conscious decision to not bring my phone inside during my shift hoping it would force me to be more social.

Now I just make parodies like “Jeffrey Epstein” and “Aryan Queen” and take my best shots while you all are sleeping, like Richard Ramirez.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

“She’s simply… awful”

“In the blink of an eye I knew her IQ and no shame
She said ‘I kinda think Alex Jones is quite tame”

“I lose my cool when she blames things on Jews
And I get so excited from her Bell Curve room”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…while you all are sleeping, like Richard Ramirez.

That’s good, but Antonio Brown was right there*.

*standing behind you.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Why is my back wet all of the sudden?

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

This is like a Matryoshka doll of twitter and music, but worth yer while:
https://twitter.com/SondreLerche/status/1171293704595922944

Duchess

Heres the thing… I hate the fact that people bring up the wedding its always brought up at the very end like its some bullshit way of trying to tie it to motivation. This came out partly because the NFL stooge Adam fucking Shefter tweeted it out to soften the blow of actually reporting the news to protect his access. It feeds the defenses “cash grab” narrative.

It very well could just be shitty timing.

Brown could be guilty and she could be lying, however, none of us were there and trying to guess motivations at this point before any of it plays out is just reckless.

And yes it is very possible to assault and rape someone while in a consensual relationship. Just look at the allegations against that douche Scientologist from the 70’s show drugging and raping 4 of his girlfriends.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If she was an employee of his, at the very least that kind of shit is sexual harrassment.

WhyEaglesWhy

OK, I’ll bite…what’s the deal with Lincoln today?

Duchess

if you fold the 5 dollar bill just right you will see the CIA planning 9/11 with aliens. Just because the Illuminati likes to put these little clues as jokes to themselves but is only found by the super-smart people who are looking for the signs.

WhyEaglesWhy
ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, so something incredibly delightful happened today. We were at the little gift store next to Ranch 99 (in Monterey Park, which is one of the predominantly Chinese neighborhoods in Los Angeles) and I asked the woman behind the counter for some “ant chalk” – it’s this insecticide stick that’s made in China and I think it’s illegal here. But it really works. Anyhow, she said to me “no, we don’t have any of that here.” Then she glanced at my wife, who was a few steps behind me, and said “oh, are you two together?” We nodded yes.

She then proceeds to open a drawer behind the counter. “How many do you need?”
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ballsofsteelandfury

That stuff is the shit.

For context, Dr. Mrs. RTD, Esquire Retired watches Korean soap operas.

Which is to say, she’s Simpatico, if you will…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We’ve been laughing at this all day. She was basically like “I ain’t sellin’ that shit to you, whitey,” until she saw the Dr. Mrs.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I think that just gave me cancer.

Senor Weaselo

Senorita Weaselo and I are going to have to try something like that, except she doesn’t really speak it, only a little bit of Cantonese.

ballsofsteelandfury

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ballsofsteelandfury

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ballsofsteelandfury

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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

plus one lol

ballsofsteelandfury

Bob’s Burgers reruns make the stress of the day go away better than anything I can think of.

ballsofsteelandfury

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Better than self love?

ballsofsteelandfury

Sometimes you just want a laugh and I’m not sure if you want a laugh during self-love.

Redshirt

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Redshirt

Why? WHY? WHY?

Why couldn’t Antonio Brown still be a Steeler?!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Big Ben doesn’t like competition

WhyEaglesWhy

Believe women and all that (no, seriously), but the part of this I can’t shake is that she’s making this public the week of her wedding. It doesn’t mean he didn’t do it, and it doesn’t mean it’s a money grab. But it’s just fucking WEIRD.

litre_cola

Which is why Mark Davis is behind this. She inconveniences herself now so she gets paid back door as well as the lawsuit.

DUN DUN DUN.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Now that’s the 9/11 (truther) spirit! But was Kraft in on it as well?

litre_cola

Well you see Kraft, Marino, Papa John, and Mark Davis were all at the Orchids of Asia in the conference room, doing work. The last one to finish had to pay. Davis had to pay and he has been choked ever since. This mischievous plan is advanced as he does not use his brain for trivial things such as public appearance, he focuses on revenge.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

One of the things I hate most about the anniversary of 9/11 is how Bush’s immediate response – to freeze the fuck up for a good few minutes until he was practically dragged out of the room – has been whitewashed over as him “being considerate for the feelings of the children”. Like he’s never pretended some shit came up so he could leave an event early. Like continuing to surround himself with those children as human shields when there could have been another plane flying toward the school with *him* as the target was the “right” thing to do because they “might have been upset” if he had left suddenly.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Forget it, dude. It’s Chinatown.

Fronkenshteen

Chris Smith, a DE from the Browns, just lost his girlfriend and mother of their one-month old to a highway accident. She was hit by a drunk driver on I-90 after exiting their vehicle to fix a flat tire. Mother of Christ.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s just awful.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Oh FFS. That’s awful.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

This might be Barry Manilow

Fronkenshteen

Was gonna go with Donald fagen

WhyEaglesWhy

Or Kramer

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:
me, as a child: I beat all my sisters at hide and seek today!

my dad: that’s good, but your brother Daniel is the reigning champ

me: who

herodotus450
herodotus450

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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rockingdog
rockingdog

Jamin

blaxabbath

Glad my wedding wasn’t under the cloud of my fiancée hitting up a nfl player for a measly $75k for jerking off on her back.

theeWeeBabySeamus

How much did YOU charge?

Dunstan
Dunstan

It’s damages “in excess of $75,000.” $75k is the jurisdictional minimum

litre_cola

I always forget we are in Lawyertown.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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LemonJello
LemonJello

Abe was a big supporter of the right to bare arms…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe

King Hippo

Abe was quite butch ,, ppl forget that

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

And a champion wrestler.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

John Wilkes Booth is middle seat all the way in the back.
Which explains a lot.

SonOfSpam

Didn’t see Buddy’s comment last night…that’s really great hustle.

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

President Trump will be literally five minutes from my house on Monday giving a campaign wheeze. They’re closing the schools, so the in-laws will have to watch the kids, and it will probably take me 3 hours to get home from work. #MAGA!!!

Fucking Jagoff.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Hey you just won the Civil War!

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised