Your “Tiger Not Drunk After All, But Hopefully I Will Be Soon” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Yep, no alcohol in his system.  He was just taking a “nap” in his car.  Yeah OK… you know he’s getting the good pain pills for that back.  And since there was no alcohol in his system, this will now all probably go away.  That’s crap.  Cops find ME passed out in my car, even if “only” on legally Rx’d meds…..?

Also, when I was searching for a banner image for this post, I found this.  It made me laugh so I’m sharing….

Hehehehehe….those were the days.

Jay Z is still judging you, Sir….

(NSFW tho I shouldn’t have to say so)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1ZObiu6kRU

(True Story Bro…tWBS can rap this by heart)

But no shit, Tiger.  What happened to you, man?  When I saw the headlines yesterday of your (alleged) DUI arrest, I thought to myself….What?  Is that all?

Just sad, man.

NHL

The Pens got lucky last night.  At least as much as one can say that about a team which seemingly held a stranglehold at 3-0 after the first period horn sounded.  And then they coasted a bit too much and….yeah, they got lucky.  But they did manage to hold on and the 5-3 win gives them the 1-0 series advantage.  Game Two is Wednesday night at 8pm, NBCSN.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IipCfPZcAeY

NFL

  • Cam Newton at #44???  OK, tell me one QB…taking into account age, injuries, etc….you’d rather build your team around in the here and now.  I’m no Panthers’ fan, but wow.
  • Is Russell Wilson a big huge penis?  I.  Don’t.  Know.  (actually, I do…but I’m staying quiet.  Also, yes)
  • 100 Days Away…..from…..shit, I had something for this.

And there’s a lot more real footy news heating up.

MLB

With no Hockey tonight (yeah, yeah….no NBA ’til Thursday, either), baseball seems to be your only solace.  I’m sorry…sincerely.

  • Dodgers @ Cardinals, 8:00pm, ESPN

Full Slate

Maybe if we’re lucky there will be another brawl tonight.  But if there is, hopefully Buster Posey will reprise his Jim Caldwell role.  (FWIW Buster, I don’t blame you for not wanting to get you some of that….but at least make it look good, dude….at least grab the groundskeeper and wrestle him down gently or something, sheeeesh).

Also, it’s a good thing for Harper that he can throw a baseball better than he can throw a batting helmet.  That was just sad, pretty boy.  And I’m sure the hair gel had nothing to do with it….

 

NCAA Baseball

The 2017 NCAA Baseball Tournament gets underway this coming weekend.  I know none of you cares.  Honestly, I don’t either.  When one’s school is (again) preseason ranked top ten in the nation and (again) ends up barely sliding in with a 3 seed (in baseball a 3 seed is not particularly good, just so ya’s know) …. Well, let’s just say that’s just one more movie I’ve now seen too often and have grown weary of, quite frankly.

Sadly, I’ve grown more weary of my alma mater’s annual attempts to make it sound like an accomplishment of which to be proud.  No wonder we’re also rans in every sport that matters these days.

Surely, King Hippo will wake me if we make it to Omaha.

Shit Hippo, sorry.  Here, lemme help ya up….

Awkward Transition

So, what should we do now?  Wanna sing some songs?

Wagstaff Announcements

 

Mr. Frond:  Students!?  Students!?  Tina has something she’d like to tell you about.

Tina Belcher:  Thank you Mr. Frond.  I DO have a surprise for you all beginning tomorrow morning.

[extended awkward silence]

Mr. Frond:  Umm, that’s nice Tina.  Can you tell us a bit more?

Tina:  No, but here’s a hint…..

 

Mr. Frond:  Oooookay.  I’m sure we’ll all enjoy that very much.

Tina:  I know I will….

 

Saving It Late

OK, go forth and have fun.  If you still have a Memorial Day hangover, then just keep drinking ’til Christmas.  What could go wrong?

And please pray for BeerGuyRob‘s ass.  I am not going to say “drink to BeerGuyRob’s Ass” however, mostly because of some confusion yesterday regarding the words “to” and “from”.

Don’t drink from Rob’s ass….being the general point.

Get well soon, Rob.  We miss ya.

😉

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Ariel Winter has become this household’s favorite star.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

My dick!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Wow, that took me way too long.
/pulls up britches
//searches for pants

Unsurprised

How is this the one that she hit Send on? Was he vigorously spanking her in the rest?

Unsurprised

Huh?
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Mr. Ayo

That’s a very good selfie. 12/10. Would pet.

Unsurprised

I met someone tonight who also got a pitch to the nuts from Tebow, when this guy was at UF.

WCS

Watching this Natinals-Giants game, the Natinals’ pitching coach came out to make a pitching change, while manager Dusty Baker made a double-switch from the dugout. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen that before.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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