Your “I Can’t Bear To Watch!” [watches] Under-Cooked Saturday Night NFL Special

As Pat Benatar once said, “Loving Football is a Battlefield”* and we’ve got a near-impossible obstacle to hurdle directly in front of our eyebulbs. Perhaps you’ll choose other entertainment options-whatever you do, pop in and say “Hell!” or “Hello”, it makes no matter. Let us know what you’re up to, why you’re doing it, how much you’re being paid for it and what kinds of decisions led to the moral abyss you currently inhabit. No one is going to laugh and point unless you’re the kind that gets off on that sort of thing. Freak. Again, this is a no-judgement zone. TO THE GAME!

Mia/NYJ-Clipboard-fancier extraordinaire Matty “No Ice in my Room Temperature Water” Moore gets the start for the Finskis. He’s tossed the ball in games that matter a total of 35 times since 2012 so he should be good for an interception or two. “What about his fumbling? Is that an issue?”, you ask, out of turn as usual. Sighing, I reply, “why yes, in fact he has fumbled the ball 23 times in 25 starts”. So of course the Jets D is going stripping tonight. Bryce Petty has a much smaller body of work but the stat sheet says that he’s at 50% on throws that involve some sort of ability yet is an Alex Smith-like (10 for 10) in his check-down passing. What makes this game entertaining to me is that the weather in East Rutherford is going to be a big fat mess. Cheer for one of these teams, Mother Nature or that solid prop bet you just made. (the “over” on # of turnovers) I’ll see you on the other side.

Done. GIVE IT TO ME!

*walks off into the darkness whistling

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the Alpha and the Amoeba

So we all know that the TV announcer’s suck. When I can, I mute the TV and listen to the announcers on the Packer’s Radio Network. To fans of other NFL teams, do you have a similar set of alternative announcers you listen to?

Brocky

Packers didn’t lose in the championship round last year, they lost in the divisional.

fuck you chicago announcer who’s not joe buck or troy aikman

Spur

Morning folks. So am back in Vegas staying at my parents house. This morning the dogs are barking up a storm, I go and check on them and find cops in front of the house. There’s a dead body in the neighbors front lawn.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Is it stinky yet??

Fronkenshteen

So what’s Minn doing with Adrian Peterson here? Are they just using his jersey to keep linebackers and safeties home for an extra split second? It’s not like they’re magically going to be able to run the ball. On the other hand, he’s not coming off the field at the goal line for Matt fucking Asiata…

King Hippo

I mean, he sucked when he had TWO knees this season, which I think we can now fairly attribute mostly to a poor run-blocking OL (and him being a gentleman of a certain age and no longer able to supercede that).

Don T

Anticipated congrats to the Agholorics.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I joked earlier that I would drink til I passed out and still wake up at 4 am. I was wrong, 3:45

Brick Meathook

All my comments are “awaiting moderation” including my JOKE suicide post.

Okay, I missed the meet-up in Placentia, but I deserve better than this.

I think so, anyway.

Unsurprised

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Brick Meathook

My last comment is “awaiting moderation.”

It’s only a gif of the opening of “Ultraman” from the 1960’s

Sometimes I feel like putting a pistol in my mouth, except I don’t own a pistol, I honestly don’t where you buy ammo, and I’m too vain to ever leave busted-head corpse. Also, I earned a Riflery Merit Badge in the Boy Scouts and qualified on the M-1911 in the Navy, and in both classes firearms safety was paramount.

I guess the only way I could kill myself with a pistol is to use it as a hammer to beat my own skull in. Probably not gonna happen.

Besides, I’m flying home on Monday to see my mom! Happy Holidays to you all!

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised

Hot tub would be nice right now

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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