NFL News:
- Based on his gradual recovery from shoulder surgery, Andrew Luck will start camp on the PUP list.
- more time foar gravy!
- Also PUP’d – Teddy Bridgewater. He is expected to be on it to start the season, which means he’ll automatically miss the first 6 games.
- Honestly, I think we’d all be happy if he could just walk again.
- Hopefully at camp – Devonta Freeman, who the Falcons are trying to sign to an extension before he’s supposed to report.
- Freeman was a 2014 fourth-round pick who has one year and close to $1.8 million left on his rookie deal.
- Negotiations started strong, but then have petered out as camp day approaches. An achingly familiar scenario.
- Cowboys-in-court then & now:
- Ironically named Lucky Whitehead has had a warrant issued for his arrest since he missed a court date on a petit-larceny charge of shoplifting from a convenience store.
- No word on if he recognizes the irony after the misadventure with his dog a few days ago.
- Michael Irvin will not be charged with sexual assault by Broward County. No word on if the alleged victim may sue.
- Ironically named Lucky Whitehead has had a warrant issued for his arrest since he missed a court date on a petit-larceny charge of shoplifting from a convenience store.
- Packers President Mark Murphy trolled Vikings fans by implying the Packers have a better chance to play the Super Bowl in Minnesota than the Vikings currently do.
Finally, your long-ish read of the day is from ESPN and talks about why teams settle for weak backups, rather than try to carry a 1-b version of their starter.
- There’s passing mention of Colin Kaepernick, but a similar amount of time devoted to Scott Tolzein. If this was a rationalization piece, I’d expect it to be on nfl.com with a glowing quote from Roger Goodell about how players are free to say what they want.
- There was also a sad lack of pictures of AJ McCarron’s wife, which normally accompany any story about him like someone said “Beetlejuice” three times..
Tonight’s sports:
- CFL:
- Ottawa at Toronto – 7:30PM | ESPN2 / TSN
- a very special episode of the CFL on ESPN, featuring members of the Argos 1996 & 97 Grey Cup team, including Doug Flutie, who is being named the 24th “All-time Argo” tonight.
- Ottawa at Toronto – 7:30PM | ESPN2 / TSN
- MLB:
- A’s at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- Rockies at Cardinals – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
- Red Sox at Mariners – 10:00Pm | Sportsnet1
- WWE:
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
- it’s one month to SummerSlam, a cross-brand promotion, so matches will start taking shape tonight & tomorrow.
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
I was going through the list of “pending” Commentists, and noticed a large uptick in the number of requests from the Ukraine. Based on that, the Russians may now keep the Crimea. I do love pirogi, but I don’t enjoy them with spam. IT HAS BEEN SPOKEN!
I know none of yinz are watching the Dirt Stillers-Dirt Niners game, but, Buccos utilityman, John Jaso, just absolutely picked his nose, looked at the booger, and flung it away on TV.
If he didn’t eat it, I’m less than interested.
Tomsula does not approve of this wastefulness.
“Lotta protein in dem boogers!”
You can pick your utilitymen, and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your utilityman’s nose!
OK; my life is full of meaning and I make a difference.
Also; everything is fine…. it’ll work out fine, we’re fine, it’s all OK>
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/trump-floats-possibility-of-giuliani-replacing-sessions-as-ag-report/ar-AAoKWZy?OCID=ansmsnnews11
http://www.msn.com/en-us/money/companies/company-to-install-microchips-in-employees/ar-AAoJT1s?OCID=ansmsnnews11
Just fine; nothing wrong today.
http://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/20146101/insufficient-evidence-sexual-assault-charges-michael-irvin-prosecutors-say
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/latest-teen-killed-livestreamed-crash-identified-48821723
Good to go.
http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/009/557/428.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lt14t7i6iR1qepmyjo1_500.jpg
I AM THE NIGHT
Speaking of sadness/bullshit, has anyone checked on makeitsnow since MS paint’s death was announced?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbfgVEk-mxQ
Target Dog: I did NOT agree to this shit. I might lick my own ass, but even I’ve got standards.
The coat, face paint, and boots are ok, but I draw the line at having something touch my ass that’s dumber than it.
/prays no one posts sexy Shaggy
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rBlyx0hLsXY/TnyOL68yOAI/AAAAAAAAAWo/tMRgTxvZnIY/s1600/Shaggy.jpg
now i see weaslo beat me too it
This is more Shaggy in one day than we needed.
#Itme
GO BACK TO UKRAINIA!!!
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/12/15/18/2F671B9600000578-3361327-image-m-14_1450203591017.jpg
I hate John McCain more than any person alive, and I hope his cancer kills him in the most painfully slow and cruelest way possible. His entire life has been as a cancer on the world and we are all poorer for him living in it. It’s a shame that he survived four motherfucking plane crashes, five years in a POW camp, avoiding going to prison as one of the Keating Five, and has somehow survived everything else life threw at him in what can only be further evidence that he long ago made a deal with Satan because holy shit has he ever fed the forces of darkness so many thousands of bodies over the years as a cruelly corrupt warmongering piece of shit.
I’m not clear on whether you like McCain or not; could you be a little more specific?
Do you hate him more than any other living person hates him or do you hate him more than you hate any other living person?
Yes
Counterpoint:
?w=570&h=425
Another thing he did for Satan to extend his life and power.
and he’s dying because a certain somebody offered Satan a better deal!
So other than that, what did you REALLY think of the play Mrs. Lincoln?
It would’ve been better if Booth acted in the play instead of just taking potshots from the balcony.
So…we’re gonna get you a therapy bear, to help you deal with your feelings toward Sen. McCain, mmm’kay??
Can I fuck it?
/scared to google “therapy bear with fully functional, vibrating anus”
Gimme a sec, I’ve still got the link here somewh….
I mean….what’s that?
It isn’t as good as I thought; a lot of “fan art.”
“Sounds intriguing.” -Definitely not Aaron Rodgers
Using this doll, show us where Sen. McCain stuck his finger in your butthole.
Soooooo, looks like DAL didn’t buy Lucky’s “Wadn’t me” defense…
“Bitches come, bitches go.”
Property is important, though.”
— Jerry Jones, Esq.
oh, that good
But it worked so well for Shaggy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qv5fqunQ_4I
Also for all our Ukrainian friends.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzLtF_PxbYw
No joke. Here comes a tangent. I did some hardcore research at Moose’s suggestion a few months back into my family’s history through Imperial, Reichskommissariat, and Soviet Ukraine during the first half of the 21st century. It was an evil, awful fucking time and region to survive through. Just supplying background to explain what a nightmare hellscape Ukraine was during the world wars takes up about 3k words. One day, I’ll get around to finishing it. Unfortunately, I’ve run into all sorts of dead ends tracking their movements prior to WW2, but did find some neat/terrifying inconsistencies in their immigration records thanks to ancestry.com. For example, I found the ship manifests from their trip to America where they all claimed to be Polish. What’s noteworthy is that my family HATED Poles with what may have been a genocidal passion, but they hid their Ukrainian heritage when leaving from a German port. Sooooooooo, lots of sideyeing my maybe/probably Nazi-sympathizing great-grandfather.
Hated poles? So strip joints were out of the question.
THIS MAESTRO WHILE WATCHING THE REDBLACKS I CALL HIM A POTTED PLANT BECAUSE HE KEEPS THINKING “Oh no, not again.”
/Didn’t I use this one for something else?
I presume Dee Dee was already under the desk, waiting for her chance….
?w=800
Also, “Shaq’s Huge Shoe” should be a commentist name.
It dropped.
Just Die in a Fire already
I’m surprised Putin hasn’t stolen that Pats helmet.
I wonder why Trump isn’t holding the shoe.
Wish I would not have seen this; I just puked dinner.
Marc Trestman Watch!
– Chris Hansen
Hey, the redblacks (NO OFENCE!!) have tied it up. To the thrill of dozens, eh?
I’m watching it! Don’t know why.
I am also questioning a lot of my life choices lately.
This is funnier when you realize that it’s not a parody…..
Congrats on that lifelong goal of becoming a WAG, I guess.
Rode the stationary bike today for the first time in easily a month. Took a while to recover but can finally can see past the blood in my eyes.
Good work. Keep it up. You will feel great soon.
Yeah, what he said.
That stroke you just had was only a mild one.
if not, they are doing AMAZEBALLS things with oatmeals these days!
You’ve seen me in person. Soon is inaccurate, but I’m trying.
Why isnt flutie a coloUr guy?
Flutie does have a Ricardo Montalbán-level tan … so he’s got that coloUr going for him, man.
Still rocking a sweet mullet as well.
Man, Doug Flutie is a fuckin’ beauty. There’s honestly no two ways about it.
Yay. John McCain’s coming back to hopefully bomb some foreign countries and probably uninsure millions because he really doesn’t give a fuck.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYoIgKxOK4A
Wonder if everyone who said you couldn’t make fun of his health still feels that way knowing he’s coming back from his taxpayer funded surgery to take health care away from 20 million.
It’s funny, because the only people who didn’t jump me for making fun of his health back in 2012 were crazy far right conservative types, and now the only people who don’t jump me are far left hippy types. Unless he’s about to pull a massive face turn tomorrow, I’m going down screaming “FUCK JOHN MCCAIN”
I admire your consistency.
Unfortunately, the edgy comedy subculture of the mid-aughts mostly became alt-right edgelords. Some of us ended up halfway decent. It’s how we end up with things like Cumtown.
Those people can go fuck themselves.
CFL ESPN2. pickins must be slim
welcome to every non-World Cup July since the dawn of man
Welcomr to Bismarck everyday
something something AJ McCarron’s Wife? AJ MCCARRON’S MOM!!!!! something something
Garapollo has now been traded to the Bengals for AJ and a 3rd round pick
Seriously?
nope but grumble lord would after seeing a pic of his mother
LMFAO
grumble, grumble the skinny one can watch, grumble grumble
Thanks, boosters
I now know I am getting old because last night during Game of Thrones I was just thinking… come on this cunnilingus scene is just gratuitous and serves no purpose.
Did they edit it down for on demand? When I watched it today, you only saw him going down for a second.
it was longer on Sunday for sure
Glad I streamed the Sunday version.
what point is there in a MAN inspecting carpet samples anyway?
Fun?
Taste?
The satisfaction of a job well done?
I’m not sure I understand the question.
But FOAR the viewer?? meh
/and a lady gon’ get the job done much better
Oh, well sure. As far as observationals, that be much more aesthetic.
Them boobs though … and dat ass WOOOOOO!!!11!!
Speaking of Demmycrats, that well-publicized bumper sticker fiasco could have been fixed very easily.
BLACK >>> orange
Possible reason why Democrats lost.
“What do we want?!”
(inarticulate gibberish of different responses)
“When do we want it?!”
“Now!!”
2018 and 2020 be simple:
“Fuck That Guy!”
It worked for them in 2006 and 2008, but they lost net seats in 2008 mainly because they ran on “Fuck Bush,” and then governed as “Bush is okay” like millions of people in the base weren’t demanding he and Cheney be impeached for years. Because fuck us, right?
/but u rite, that is the downfall of being a big tent/coalition party with very, very few things everyone can agree on (and people who are generally afraid of offending one another).
Fuck it, dude.
Man, the Mets are to young pitching arms what The Juice is to ex-wives and Jewish waiters. Allegedly.
“Hold my beer”
-Dusty Baker
Imagine if Dusty managed the Mets? The entire rotation would be down by the All-Star break every year.
Zombies. Everywhere. I don’t know any Nats fans, but if I did, I imagine they would have Seppuku’d yesterday upon Dusty saying of Strasburg (after leaving the game in 2nd inning with arm stiffness) “I think he’s ok”
was at the last game where Stras pitched and they gave up 13+ runs… is arm is shot
This one they won 6-2, but he walked 3 dudes in 2 innings. He was hurting in that last bad start and they pitched him again anyway? With like a 20-gajillion game division lead?
Hiring Dusty Baker as manager is like making an arsonist your night watchman.
I concur.
Dude’s a twit. This is an understatement.
Bismarck should not be on any persons bucket list. Having a local “sour” from Laughing Sun Brewery so there is that.
Tis true in sports stores there is UND, NDSU, Purple Bjorns, Pack and all the Wentz you can handle.
“In your sour you will taste blood and iron!” -Otto von Bismarck
Other than bombers being based there, no justification exists for North Dakota.
Only here on our way home but through yellowstone to get some picnic baskets!
Did you do South Dakota then?
Decilitre got a bit antsy so we hung a right at Fargo. I did however get a private tasting today at Proof distillery, have enough info for a post after throwback week. So we dodnt go that far south. Tomorrow, Montana Brewing in Billings.
And lots of ICBMs.