25 Questions about… Cutler to the Dolphins

 

Have you ever gone to a bar and found that your favorite bartender was replaced by some guy named Steve? Well, I’m Steve, what can I get you?

 

  1. How many Chicago Bears fans have now made the Dolphins their AFC team?
  2. Is anyone really surprised he choose to get paid $10 Million dollars to play for the Dolphins as opposed to sitting in the booth?
  3. Was he that upset when he found out you can’t smoke in the booths anymore?
  4. Will this mean we may get more excerpts from the Tao Te Cutler this season?
  5. Does this instantly upgrade the Maimi Quarterback play?
  6. Tannehill’s douchiness has been very underrated with Cutler, Sanford, and King Troll Douche Brady (not Brady Quinn) soaking up all the press don’t you think?
  7. Does knowing that Cutler supported Trump change anything for you?
  8. Speaking of Tom Brady who else is hoping the Dolphins go 2-0 vs. the Patriots?
  9. What about 3-0 with the impending wild card game between the two held in Miami?
  10. Do you think Brandon Marshall wishes he was back in Miami?
  11. Does Brandon Marshall know he’s on the Giants this year and not the Jets?
  12. Who will have more carries this year Jay Ajayi or Jaxson Wyatt Cutler?
  13. Did Kristin Cavallari agree to this since the Maimi high schools were tricked by anti-vaxxers into showing bullshit documentaries?
  14. If so do you think she even knows that happened in Miami Australia, not Florida?
  15. The kid’s names are Jaxson Wyatt and Saylor James, which parent do you think is responsible for the first name and which one for the middle name?
  16. With that said did you know that Jay is not even short for anything?
  17. Do you think he has at one point tried to convince himself that his parents did that as a nod to the Sanskrit word for victory?
  18. Is Kristin Cavallari the new Gwenith Paltrow or is she the new Jenny McCarthy, minus the nudity?
  19. Is this where Balls would insert a question about anal sex?
  20. Why isn’t Balls doing this?
  21. Did you know coming up with 25 questions is hard?
  22. Are we still doing phrasing?
  23. Archer was decent this past season, but it’s kind of good that they are calling it quits next year right?
  24. Did you know Archer was initially going to be called Duchess?
  25. Who would have thought that I would have stuck with the name longer than them?

 

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

No rape is funnier than dolphin rape. OK, maybe Carlin’s “imagine Elmer Fudd being raped by Porky Pig – HEY! whyd’ya think they call him Porky?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ooh! I like this new LIGHTBOX feature almost as much as I like CARBOAT.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Enrico Pallazzo

26. Who else destroyed their teenage boners while watching Singled Out? It’s why I can’t hate nutty-ass McCarthy too much because she meant sooooooooooooooo much to us and our little uses

King Hippo

Don’t need no vaccinations for basic cable stroke material ,, ppl forget that

Don T

Cutler is super chill, not an apathetic douche. On the other hand, this:
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litre_cola

We had antivaxxers in our pregnancy group leading up to decilitres birth. They were worse than door to door salesmen trying to male you believe.

litre_cola

Yes. Mrs. Cola 90% breastfeeds I feed deci a bottle once a night in the night for “bonding” apparently THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m so proud of you.

/snif

Spanky Datass

I landed in Philly at Terminal F and thought hey, the really upgraded this place! Then I strolled way over to Terminal B and yep same old shithole. Stupid phone (obligatory).

Romonobyl

Obligatory:

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

1. Less than 50
5. Yes
11. He knows he’s not in a burning dumpster fire anymore but will be confused at every home game
17. The people of Santa Claus, Indiana, are unaware that Sanskrit is not a type of ladies clothing
19. Balls is always trying to insert things, especially anally

Romonobyl

Megyn Kelly would be upset to find out if any black people lived there.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who said anything about percent? I think it’s less than 50 people.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Dolphins staff is already planning to recreate this situation when needed so that Jay Cutler can have his “lady in white” moment like in The Natural.

http://deadspin.com/kitty-on-the-field-fights-cardinals-employee-inspires-1797702195

Romonobyl

Are you sure that’s Cutler’s wife in the banner pic? I mean, she doesn’t appear to be as pregnant as usual.