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INT. RENTAL CAR – DAY

A pair of young men are driving a rental car through the streets of Culver City.  The one driving is clutching the steering wheel frantically and whipping his head around in frustration, while the passenger fumbles around with a folding map.

JARED GOFF: Where ARE we?

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: I don’t know, I don’t know!

JARED GOFF: Goddamnit.  I’m pulling over.

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Don’t stop, we’re late already!  Just go west.

JARED GOFF: [grumbles] Fine.

JARED GOFF continues driving straight.

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Dude, I said go west.

JARED GOFF: Um…

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Jesus, do you not even know what fucking direction west is?

JARED GOFF: Um…

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: See the sun? It’s past noon, so the sun is in the west.  Drive towards the sun, stupid.

JARED GOFF turns and begins driving west.

JARED GOFF: And then what?

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Um…I’m not sure where we are on the map.

JARED GOFF: [peering out the windshield] We’re on Jefferson, the cross street is…Somerset.

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Um…

JARED GOFF: Dude, do you not even know how to read a map?

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: DUDE I WENT TO FUCKING UNC THEY DON’T TEACH US THAT SHIT THERE!

JARED GOFF: How to read a map?

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Uh, yeah, that.

JARED GOFF: Ah, fuck.  Might as well pull over now.  It’s two o’clock.

— [radio flies open] —

DJ 3000: [as excited as a computer-generated voice can possibly sound] LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WELCOME TO REQUEST LINE.  I’M YOUR HOST DJ 3000, FILLING IN FOR JARED GOFF AND MITCHELL TRUBISKY WHO APPARENTLY WERE HAVING SOME ISSUES WITH THE NAVIGATION FEATURE ON THEIR CELLPHONES…

MITCHELL TRUBISKY and JARED GOFF: [in unison] Hey!

DJ 3000: …BUT DON’T YOU FRET AND DON’T YOU FROWN CAUSE YOUR OLD PAL DJ 3000 IS HERE TO MAKE SURE YOU FIND YOUR WAY TO ROCK AND ROLL TOWN.  TODAY’S THEME IS ‘NAVIGATION’ SO WE’RE LOOKING FOR SONGS ABOUT MAPS, COMPASS DIRECTIONS, BEING LOST, THAT KIND OF STUFF.  I’LL GET US STARTED WITH A CLASSIC FROM THE CHURCH.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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Don T

Ha! DOUBLE SHOT
Café Tacuba – El metro (looks like from the MTV Unplugged)
https://youtube.com/watch?v=S5V2XePIXX8

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

RYAN LEAF: Man, that guy has an incredible life.

TODD MARINOVICH: You mean Bradley in this song?

RYAN LEAF: No way. That chicks’ Dad! Life goals, man.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaLI1pRL11Y

theeWeeBabySeamus

Artist/song double shot YES I THINK I’M CLEVER!!!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwqhdRs4jyA

theeWeeBabySeamus

Also….best tag in ever.
I might have to kiss you on the mouth next time I’m on the left coast.
Fair warning.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

[Sighs, kicks rock]

–Aaron Rodgers

theeWeeBabySeamus

You had your chance.
Unrequited love can only last so long.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDIz4talyQk

theeWeeBabySeamus

And now, that’s also a double.
Good thing I started drinking early today.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_h9MxNn8P7w

Cuntler

One more. How are there no songs by the Cars yet? In honor of 12 year-old me’s favorite moment in Fast Times at Ridgemont High:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZhfFXEMMI4

Cuntler

This guy really likes Phoebe Cates https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlkfK5gliIw

SonOfSpam

Gotta love 80s music videos. “Hey guys, here’s a map with our band’s name and logo on it. Maybe we should follow it. To the ATVs!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=657TZDHZqj4

SonOfSpam

Well, maybe if your password wasn’t RAIDERZ4LYFE…

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus

And now it’s a double…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40V9_1PMUGM

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

This would have been a much better choice:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrBAYD4kmPo

theeWeeBabySeamus

Considering I heard that on the radio this morning, I feel even dumber now.
Thanks.

SonOfSpam

comment image

SonOfSpam

Sure the song fits, but even The Decemberists are like “This is twee crap.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UXnulANF8g

Cuntler

I am going to stop after this one. There are so many songs about traveling.

Trucker’s Atlas – Modest Mouse

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krLlDZHn7_s

Cuntler

Must’ve Got Lost – J. Giles Band

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPAj19vHPNc

Cuntler

Bob Seger – Turn the Page

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GONmFCkCGCc

BrettFavresColonoscopy
JerBear50

Double it up on the Seger.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=attPbjuxli0

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Cuntler

A Tribe Called Quest – I Left My Wallet in El Segundo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WILyWmT2A-Q

laserguru

I found it in my garage.

Cuntler

Roger Miller – King of the Road

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmOe27SJ3Yc

Cuntler

Going Down the Road and Feeling Bad – Grateful Dead
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSRs2DRkYgM

Cuntler
nomonkeyfun
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

comment image

BOLTMAN KNOWS WHERE TO FIND THIS ILLUSIVE HUMAN FEMALE!

SonOfSpam

Down Under is a direction according to Aaron Rodgers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfR9iY5y94s

nomonkeyfun
SonOfSpam

Moar like Go West Hollywood, amirite?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACf5ZYxPqes

SonOfSpam
BrettFavresColonoscopy

How about doubling up West-ward?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3j2NYZ8FKs

Beerguyrob

East Bound & Down – Jerry Reed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnRwQjTYfGI

King Hippo

Well, if’n you open it to band names…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCCqeHm5VDY

laserguru
SonOfSpam

“And we never failed to fail, it was the easiest thing to do.”

– Cleveland Browns

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuLBhxZUkmU

SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam

Hey, Browns jokes write themselves.

laserguru

Oh, that’s good!

King Hippo
King Hippo

and….doubleshot to mah homeland!’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ure4jaEue5U

laserguru

Do band names count?

I’m pretty sure band names count.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBGqveusXQ8

laserguru
King Hippo
King Hippo
laserguru

Might as well get the oldies and the moldies out of the way early.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swjLglCwflE&list=RDswjLglCwflE

Spanky Datass

Young Spanky really wanted to make a Spanky sammich with Shirley Jones and Susan Dey as the bread. Just sayin’.

King Hippo
Brick Meathook

Look at the static image for this video above: Tarantino looks like Boltman.

JerBear50

I will never hear that song without seeing Michael Madsen dancing around with the gas can.

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