Request Line: Navigation

INT. RENTAL CAR – DAY

A pair of young men are driving a rental car through the streets of Culver City.  The one driving is clutching the steering wheel frantically and whipping his head around in frustration, while the passenger fumbles around with a folding map.

JARED GOFF: Where ARE we?

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: I don’t know, I don’t know!

JARED GOFF: Goddamnit.  I’m pulling over.

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Don’t stop, we’re late already!  Just go west.

JARED GOFF: [grumbles] Fine.

JARED GOFF continues driving straight.

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Dude, I said go west.

JARED GOFF: Um…

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Jesus, do you not even know what fucking direction west is?

JARED GOFF: Um…

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: See the sun? It’s past noon, so the sun is in the west.  Drive towards the sun, stupid.

JARED GOFF turns and begins driving west.

JARED GOFF: And then what?

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Um…I’m not sure where we are on the map.

JARED GOFF: [peering out the windshield] We’re on Jefferson, the cross street is…Somerset.

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Um…

JARED GOFF: Dude, do you not even know how to read a map?

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: DUDE I WENT TO FUCKING UNC THEY DON’T TEACH US THAT SHIT THERE!

JARED GOFF: How to read a map?

MITCHELL TRUBISKY: Uh, yeah, that.

JARED GOFF: Ah, fuck.  Might as well pull over now.  It’s two o’clock.

— [radio flies open] —

DJ 3000: [as excited as a computer-generated voice can possibly sound] LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WELCOME TO REQUEST LINE.  I’M YOUR HOST DJ 3000, FILLING IN FOR JARED GOFF AND MITCHELL TRUBISKY WHO APPARENTLY WERE HAVING SOME ISSUES WITH THE NAVIGATION FEATURE ON THEIR CELLPHONES…

MITCHELL TRUBISKY and JARED GOFF: [in unison] Hey!

DJ 3000: …BUT DON’T YOU FRET AND DON’T YOU FROWN CAUSE YOUR OLD PAL DJ 3000 IS HERE TO MAKE SURE YOU FIND YOUR WAY TO ROCK AND ROLL TOWN.  TODAY’S THEME IS ‘NAVIGATION’ SO WE’RE LOOKING FOR SONGS ABOUT MAPS, COMPASS DIRECTIONS, BEING LOST, THAT KIND OF STUFF.  I’LL GET US STARTED WITH A CLASSIC FROM THE CHURCH.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
Subscribe
Notify of
206 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
scotchnaut
scotchnaut

You and your “details”. smh

King Hippo

Dunno ’bout you, but I’m really more of a big picture guy myself.

/also do a lot of drugs

JerBear50

Viva la Hedberg.

scotchnaut
King Hippo

Foxy Footy up 2-1 @ Arsenal, near end of 1st half on NBCSN. Oh yeah, we gon’ get our Lesser Footy on!

Brick Meathook

This is simply the greatest music video ever made:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9yTqFWxHpA

Brick Meathook

Why let’s have another shot of Hank Snow traveling:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kGHmIZ4IUY

King Hippo

Heard on the way home. Better w/ Chris Elliott.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-7pgeD__qU

SonOfSpam

Damn I loved that show.

King Hippo

“Son, you’re a horse’s ass.”

SonOfSpam

“I prefer a Joe Jackson who doesn’t terrorize his youngest child to the point where said child becomes a drug-abusing pedophile.”

– Donald Trump

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNoOLCsqNTE

BrettFavresColonoscopy

comment image?itok=muytvyH_

SonOfSpam

Good birthin’ hips.

SonOfSpam

“I prefer a Bono that doesn’t get killed by a tree.”

– Donald Trump

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzZWSrr5wFI

SonOfSpam
Don T

Sid Vicious – My Way
(The version sung by someone with actual talent)
https://youtube.com/watch?v=arMXYEDuWPg

Don T

Queen – Now I’m Here
https://youtube.com/watch?v=3OSd17ko3O4

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

comment image

JerBear50

Good pull.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Actually, this might seal it
/showing self out after this one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e2igZexpMs

SonOfSpam

comment image

SonOfSpam

Was going for “Just when I thought…and totally redeem yourself!!!”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

As long as I’m already reviled in this one…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bex9bA7oQwA

King Hippo

I put Zella Day way back at the start, she’s awesome.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Touche

SonOfSpam

As sea shanties go, I prefer Lonely Island’s “I’m on a Boat.” Oh well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVlDSzbrH5M

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m almost sorry about this one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7ix6RITXM0

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

You really should be.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Don’t hate the player, hate the theme?

SonOfSpam

Yeah, man, not cool. I mean, jokes are great and all, but you took it too far.

SonOfSpam

Bangles on a road trip with Spock is my specific fetish.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zj7OJeyhq2Q

Romonobyl

Canadia’s answer to Bryan Adams. Shoulda aimed a bit higher.

SonOfSpam

I thought Bryan Adams was Canadia’s answer to Bryan Adams.

Romonobyl

You’re right, maybe Canadia’s next Bryan Adams?

Romonobyl

Off topic:
Zeke has to sit out 6 games. This would never happen to the Patriots. CONSPIRACY!!!!

nomonkeyfun

Can you imagine what would happen if someone put out an album with that cover now.

Holy shit, what a shit storm that would be.

The right bitching about nudity in general. The left yelling about objectifying women.

And both screaming about her being you know, underage.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wait, that’s not Roger Daltrey?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nipples!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Sorry, had to)

JerBear50

Damn. Was hoping this would fall through to me for the steal.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’ve been looking for a way to get these guys into Request Line for a while. “Death” was formed in 1971 and are likely the first band to play punk-style music. If you haven’t seen the documentary “A Band Called Death,” I highly recommend it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izw1_LYSThU

SonOfSpam

“Yeah, Tom, that was good…but could you gargle some glass and try it again?”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ja2evWhGWHA

SonOfSpam
JerBear50

The new album is pretty solid if you haven’t heard it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dammit.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

A band named after a shitty car, on a road trip and actually get lost during the song? I call that a 3-fer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-PHuPOqnJ4

SonOfSpam

“What’s a ‘fastball’?”

– Jered Weaver

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0wfu3tOrtQ

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

comment image

God damn were the Angels right to cut him…

SonOfSpam

Yeah, he was legitimately great for a while, but the end came quick (like me I guess).

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry, not sorry for going country, but it’s too perfect.
Also, she’s really “talented”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPoZ1BOyaDU

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

This late? Highway robbery if you ask me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l482T0yNkeo

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, we should all feel shame.
Dammit.