TGISF… AKA “Why Are These Pages Stuck Together?” Sexy Friday Open Thread

If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library. –Frank Zappa - Get it? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJzZho1TS9U - So, it probably isn't too difficult to figure out this week's theme.  But I'm still not telling you yet. But here's a "hint". - I enjoy reading for pleasure.  Unfortunately, I don't have much

Your “Second Verse – Same As The First!” Thursday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: In a harbinger of what this season might look like, Alex Smith's agent is already talking about where he might end up next year. "Alex is the present, and as good a football player as he is, he's going to have opportunities whether it's in Kansas City or

Your “Oh Look – It’s The Atlanta F*%$#-king Falcons” Season Preview

They know what they did. THEY KNOW! I hope Dan Quinn wakes up screaming every night at 3:28 AM, sweating in anguish over how the Falcons let down 96% of the football viewing public, with Dreamboat's stupid, ugly face as large as Godzilla standing over him, roaring in triumph. After all, TAWMMY's

Your “Maybe Everything Should Be On Tape-Delay” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: Ezekiel Elliott's appeal is scheduled for August 29th. And he may have something more credible than the "crazy bitch" defence first alluded to yesterday: Texts involving using a sex tape as blackmail. Separate texts involving false accusations about domestic violence. Harold Henderson, the arbiter who also handled the

YA BETTA SUE SOMEBODAYYYY: Your [DFO] Law and Fantasy Football Mailbag

Nazis! Suspensions! Nuclear War! Trades! What a week for questions about law and fantasy football!  Unsurprisingly, most of your law questions were about our Ululating Sack Of Wet FartsDear Leader and the legal ramifications of his relentless drive to make this world an even more terrible place than it already

2017 Totally Non-Stabby (probably) Baltimore Ravens Preview

Pop Quiz:  Do you know who that is in that banner image?  Yeah, no one else does either. - I had already begun mentally writing this preview, expecting the Ravens to make the smart move and sign Colin Kaepernick.  I mean, we don't have a problem with stabbings in Baltimore, so why

2017 Tampa Bay Buccaneers Preview – Sort Of

I'm not going to lie, about the only thing I know about the Bucs is that their quarterback is a seafood thieving rapist.  Who never had to face the music because more or less, he had a shot at getting his school a National Championship.  And he did.  Job well

Your “The Lesson Learned Is ‘Not To Care'” Monday Evening Open Thread

Well, I believe I speak for the majority when I say, those were some real Week-1 preseason games. Oh, and fuck Dean Spanos with a rusty shiv. μαλάκας! NFL Notes: The Lord giveth, and BLEERGH taketh away: A week after signing a new five-year deal, Devonta Freeman is in concussion protocol. He'll sit

2017 Carolina Panthers Horrible Preview

Or should that be "2017 Horrible Carolina Panthers Preview"? Yes, that seems more apropos. Sooooooo, two years removed from almost running the regular season table, an NFC Championship and a (disappointing) Superb Owl appearance, are the Panthers going to suck again this year? Yes.  Yes they are.  And here's why... - 2015 Carolina Panthers -

Your “People Tell Me That I’m Gonna Lose You” Sunday Evening Open Thread

So, the first weekend of the pre-season ends tonight, with the Seahawks going down I-5 & then onto I-10 to visit some team called the "Los Angeles Chargers" in a stadium named after a business with less credibility than the University of Phoenix. As has been my standard in covering these