“Wither Jerry Glanville” – The Falcons At Their Bye

Beerguyrob - November 17, 2023November 17, 2023

Hi everyone, It's me, Beerguyrob, back from the bargaining table with another Bye Week update, this time for the Atlanta Falcons. The Falcons sit 4-6 at their bye, and for the life of me I can’t remember any of their wins beyond the Green Bay one, and that’s only because of my Packers

“If Bland Were Whelming!” – An Atlanta Falcons Preview

Beerguyrob - August 12, 2021August 12, 2021

I know what you're thinking - "Wait - what the hell is he doing here?" Hold on, pretty deaf girl. I never said I was leaving, just abandoning my Open Thread responsibilities because of an anticipated bump in real-life workload. In fact, it's already started. Summer school finished last Friday, and people

“Even Sherman Thinks That’s Enough” – The Falcons Off Their Bye

Beerguyrob - November 18, 2020November 17, 2020

The problem with following Senor's post about the Jets is that he used all the good words & euphemisms for "bad". But what about other teams that suck? The Atlanta Falcons surely qualify for such words, as they were in a Super Bowl as recently as... oh fuck it, here's the

A Post-Doctoral Thesis On Economic Incentive & The Free Market – An Atlanta Falcons 2020 Preview

Beerguyrob - August 28, 2020August 15, 2020

Fade in: The Greene Science Center at Columbia University. A slightly disheveled beverage purveyor, in newly-purchased pants, is about to address a collected panel. Beerguyrob: Esteemed professors, fellow Ph.D candidates, gathered audience members, ladies & gentlemen, and - for some reason - Arthur Laffer, Thank you for your time today. My presentation

“When ‘All Y’all’ Are Better” – The 2019 Atlanta Falcons At Their Bye

Beerguyrob - October 30, 2019October 30, 2019

Hi everyone, (checks nfl.com to see if Dan Quinn has been fired yet.) It’s your old pal Beerguyrob, with a mid-season looksee into the progress the Atlanta Falcons are making this year. Woof! Well, there’s been some bumps along the way, and after failing to complete their comeback against the Seahawks the Falcons entered

“So It’s Come To This” – A 2019 Atlanta Falcons Season Preview

Beerguyrob - August 8, 2019August 8, 2019

As God is my witness, I had no idea where to go with this year's preview. I have covered the Falcons for [DFO] for the last three years, each with diminishing returns: 2016 - NFC Champion; lost to Patriots in Super Bowl - compared them to types of mayonnaise 2017 -

“This Beer Tastes Like Ass!” – The Falcons At Their Bye

Beerguyrob - October 26, 2018October 26, 2018

Hi again. I'm Beerguyrob, Way back in the recent past - September 3rd, to be precise - the truthiest of truth bombs was dropped on this-here site: The Atlanta Falcons are made up of mostly cheap beer. If you don't believe me, just look at their record so far: three wins -

“America Doesn’t Forgive The Sinner” – An Atlanta Falcons Preview

Team Previews

Beerguyrob - September 3, 2018August 31, 2018

I'm not sure why this team has fallen to me to preview over the years. Rikki covered them in the initial year of the site, and I think did a damn fine job half-assing it. Me - well, I didn't even muster half of that half-ass when I did the

Your “Making Something Out Of Nothing” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob - April 24, 2018April 24, 2018

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It's very quiet, what with everyone travelling to Dallas & not wanting to tip hands ahead of Thursday night. NFL News: The John Lynch standard: don't hit women. As opposed to the "see if they're cops first" maxim followed by his teammate Warren Sapp. Trying not to interfere in the case,

“What Does It Matter? We Know How It’ll End” – The Falcons Coming Off Their Bye

Beerguyrob - October 12, 2017October 11, 2017

Well, when I started this, I had them pegged at 4-0. Then they shit the bed versus the Bills and I had to retype my intro. THESE FUCKERS JUST KEEP LETTING ME DOWN! Coming off their bye this week, they host the Jay Cutler distracted Miami Dolphins, which should be an

Your “Oh Look – It’s The Atlanta F*%$#-king Falcons” Season Preview

Beerguyrob - August 17, 2017August 20, 2017

They know what they did. THEY KNOW! I hope Dan Quinn wakes up screaming every night at 3:28 AM, sweating in anguish over how the Falcons let down 96% of the football viewing public, with Dreamboat's stupid, ugly face as large as Godzilla standing over him, roaring in triumph. After all, TAWMMY's

Do It For Us…ALL Of Us – A Falcons Super Bowl Preview

Beerguyrob - February 5, 2017February 5, 2017

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: No, wait - that's not it. That's the ticket. It really is a delightful story, one of the few to come out of this somewhat disastrous 2016 season. The Atlanta Falcons, a team most pundits predicted would finish around 8-8, have surpassed all expectations