Your “Second Verse – Same As The First!” Thursday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: In a harbinger of what this season might look like, Alex Smith's agent is already talking about where he might end up next year. "Alex is the present, and as good a football player as he is, he's going to have opportunities whether it's in Kansas City or

Your “Oh Look – It’s The Atlanta F*%$#-king Falcons” Season Preview

They know what they did. THEY KNOW! I hope Dan Quinn wakes up screaming every night at 3:28 AM, sweating in anguish over how the Falcons let down 96% of the football viewing public, with Dreamboat's stupid, ugly face as large as Godzilla standing over him, roaring in triumph. After all, TAWMMY's

A Place to Call Home

Operator: Greater Charlottesville Telephone Operator Extension, how may I direct your call?….I see...And these arrangements, you said, is for a football team?....Well sir, I think I can get you to the correct person who can help you. One moment please….(Phone Clicks)…Alright, you are connected to the video conference line to our Visitors and

Inferno (Or, Your 2017 Browns Preview)

O, speak to me, o Muse! Please take my mind And offer me assistance for this tale. Through you, I hope to join ven'rable kind. I tell of city not of fair, but fail, And cursed, it seemed, 'til King reclaimed his throne And for a shining moment, did prevail. With title claimed,

CFL Beat: Week 9

I have nothing clever or witty to say; I'm mostly just tired. Physically tired, yes - I've been chasing kids around a summer camp out of town this week - but mentally tired too. I'm sure many of you are as well. Between last weekend's awfulness, and the sheer stupidity

Your “Maybe Everything Should Be On Tape-Delay” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: Ezekiel Elliott's appeal is scheduled for August 29th. And he may have something more credible than the "crazy bitch" defence first alluded to yesterday: Texts involving using a sex tape as blackmail. Separate texts involving false accusations about domestic violence. Harold Henderson, the arbiter who also handled the

YA BETTA SUE SOMEBODAYYYY: Your [DFO] Law and Fantasy Football Mailbag

Nazis! Suspensions! Nuclear War! Trades! What a week for questions about law and fantasy football!  Unsurprisingly, most of your law questions were about our Ululating Sack Of Wet FartsDear Leader and the legal ramifications of his relentless drive to make this world an even more terrible place than it already

2017 Totally Non-Stabby (probably) Baltimore Ravens Preview

Pop Quiz:  Do you know who that is in that banner image?  Yeah, no one else does either. - I had already begun mentally writing this preview, expecting the Ravens to make the smart move and sign Colin Kaepernick.  I mean, we don't have a problem with stabbings in Baltimore, so why

Your “So Damn Tired and Uninspired” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

I just don't have much in terms of creativity today, so I apologize for going to my weekend well to tie something into the Miami QB situation: NFL News: Break out a fresh bag of "Feline Pine", because Jay Cutler is going to start this Thursday. At most, he plays the

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