Tripping Over The Light Fantastic; or A Desperate Plié: Your All-Dancing 2019 Buffalo Bills Season Preview

[Author's Note: As promised/threatened, this year's Buffalo Bills Season Preview will be conducted in the medium of interpretive dance. Yes, I know it's particularly inappropriate for Buffalo, which has no cheerleaders but a thriving post-angioplasty community.  Expand your minds and get some culture, you barbarian savages.] Your 2018 Buffalo Bills: 6-10,

BattleBots Beat: Some of This Might Go Badly

Welcome back to the Beat, where we get severals, nay, fews of +1s on the Reddits! Good news, I haven't gotten angry cease & desist messages from anyone, so… yay? Anyway, last time was the midseason roundtable where robots got together and yelled their opinions on this season. As for

CFL Beat: Week 10

We're almost halfway through the CFL regular season, and based on what I've seen thus far in 2019, I can't think of a bigger letdown than the BC Lions. It's a shame, really. We've been accustomed to all five teams in the West Division being extremely competitive, and considering the

Your 2019 Seattle Seahawks Preview

Rainy City Football Chums Walkthrough Here we are at the beginning of another new season and lo, what promise it holds. More replays! Endless delays! And despite all this, many missed calls. Makes you wonder why you sat and watched three idiots blathering in a booth about a microscopic difference in

Santa Clara Diet: A San Francisco 49ers Preview

[Author's Note: In support of DFO's efforts to maintain its position at the bleeding edge of Blog Innovation, I have chosen to conduct this preview as a Pre-Post-Modern Impressionist visual meditation on man's inhumanity to man. Please tune in tomorrow for the Bills preview, which will be in the form

Wednesday Motivational – Be Kind

I'm about to sound like a crazed Hippie. Don't care. I try to be kind to every stranger I meet and also with those in my life I deal with regularly.  Family, friends, etc..  Admittedly, it's sometimes a difficult thing to accomplish. Some people won't accept kindness.  They're just not built for it. 

Your “Holy shit, the Dolphins still exist?” 2019 Preview

/Scene opens with Wakezilla laying in bed, his two hands behind his head and his eyes wide open. Underneath the sheets is another body that begins just below Wakezilla's waist, with a head bobbing up and down. The bobbing stops and the sheets are raised to reveal Mrs. Wakezilla, wearing

Another Jets Preview in the Underworld, 2019 Edition

Right, this. Uh, shit. I haven't been down in a while, being busy and all. Eh, let's start this and I imagine someone will call and yell at me. So! Another year, another Jets preview. Oh, another coach, this time replacing Todd "Not Sally" Bowles (I've wanted to use that for a

From Worst to “Maybe they can pull off what the Browns are doing except with concentration camps in their state.”: A 2019 Arizona Cardinals Preview

Short Two Sentence Preview: The Arizona Cardinals are a dysfunctional franchise without competent leadership in the front office and, naming it's third head coach and third starting quarterback in three season, it's clear that Mike Bidwill and Steve Keim are banking that a drunk broken clock with no hour hand

Goddess 3 : Eurotrip – Chapter 7

INTERIOR, A SHITTY RENTED AUDI HATCHBACK WITH FULL COLLISION COVERAGE, THE A-3, HEADING SOUTH PAST THE FRANKFURT AIRPORT Balls: So, where exactly are we going? tWBS:I don't care anymore. Hippo (looking sideways at Balls): Whaddayasay we hang out in Frankfurt? I've heard good things! Balls (exchanging glances with Hippo): Yeah!