Dick-Joke Blogger Discovers Key To Everything

Doop-dee-doo, having a pretty good day so far, got a couple calls out of the way, having Ben & Jerry’s Strawberry Shortcake Greek frozen yogurt for lunch, not too shabby.

Doop-dee-doo, let’s check the Internets! Nothing on the Internets could possibly ruin a good mood ever!Hello, what’s this?What?http://news.yahoo.com/is-this-ancient-greek-laptop-proof-that-time-083225287.html?nf=1This has to be some sort of joke, right?http://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/nation-now/2016/02/05/does-ancient-greek-statue-show-laptop-usb-ports/79865176/You can’t possibly be serious.http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3430610/Is-ancient-Greek-statue-proof-time-travel-Claims-sculpture-shows-laptop-USB-ports-point-tablet-just-one-wax.htmlWell, those are just shiny objects for stupid people. No “respectable” news outlet could be so credulous…http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/02/ancient-greeks-inventors-of-laptop-holders.htmlOh.It’s true that all these articles come out on the skeptical side. And it’s true that they seem to be written in the spirit of gentle mockery of a silly idea. But the titles are really fucking careless and the fact that the “other side” is presented as being anything other than the gibbering of orangutans who should be in the zoo is how stupid shit like this gets started.Case in point: the anti-vaxxers. They should be chained to posts in caves, painting their bizarre theories on the walls in their own excrement. Instead, they’re published in “respectable” newspapers and magazines and invited on “respectable” shows to give equal representation to the “other side” WHEN THERE IS NO OTHER SIDEJust because someone is challenging the status quo does not mean that their idea is of equal merit, or indeed of any merit at all. The modern media have yet to figure that out.

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