Clark County Museum — River Mountain — 8:45am

Leaning against the lone vehicle in the empty parking lot, VONTAZE BURFICT stands in the morning sun sipping from a Yeti coffee cup. Between sips and checking his watch, he surveys his surroundings and cranes his neck to see the outdoor exhibits behind the museum entrance.

VONTAZE BURFICT: Just fifteen minutes and then we can get the ball rolling. I guess I should just be relieved that the unseasonably cool Memorial Day weather is still hanging around. Jeez, it’s gonna be hot playing here. At least this weeks volunteer efforts aren’t at a hobo camp or some kind of needle exchange. I mean, if I have to hear Jim Irsay explain his back tattoo one more time —

— Door Flies Open —

Richie Incognito: Hey man, you here for the Veterans Mentorship Program too?

Burfict: Richie? You just got signed man, how they already got you out here for this nonsense?

Incognito: Oh man, I don’t really know. I mean, we did the workout and then I thought I went back to my place and — this isn’t my place, is it?

Burfict: Man, that’s part of the Mobile America exhibit! It highlights how motor courts created affordable short-term housing options for the middle class as automobile travel gained popularity through the mid 20th century!

Incognito: I dunno man. How’d you get that? My brain’s all melty.

Burfict: I’m telling you, man, just lean in to this stuff. You got signed up for this thing and, you gotta listen to me, there’s no way out of it unless you play ball. Blowing this stupid program with Carr could cost us both millions!

Incognito: Oh sweet! N-word Carr is doing this too? Will Al be coming?

Burfict: Al Davis? He’s been dead for years. Come on, man! This is serious. We gotta get a plan together for how we’re going to deal with today. I got a hunch that he’s going to have us doing —

A Lyft pulls into the parking lot and a man in black can be seen wiping down the interior and windows from his back seat middle position. BURFICT and INCOGNITO watch as the passenger meticulously removes the streaks on the rear window before vanishing from view as he cleans off the rear floor mats. After two minutes of observing, the man reappears, hands a tip to the driver, and exits.  

— Door Flies Open — 

Derek Carr: Well blessed be! If it isn’t Richard Incognito! Mike told me you wouldn’t be available this week but I guess you just couldn’t wait to get out here and make our mark on our soon-to-be-home.

Incognito: I just signed a one year deal.

Carr: Once a Raider always a Raider, friend.

Burfict: I was just giving Richie here the ground rules you have placed for the program participants. No booze, smokes, caffeine, or drugs during program functions. Limited social interaction with female participants and only with the presence of an approved buddy. Complete exclusion of profanity at all times during —

Carr:  I’m sure Richie will pick that all up. Now, it’s almost 9am so I’d like to dive right into today’s events. You see, the museum is currently working on exhibiting and properly documenting all information associated with the October 1st, 2017 Route 91 Harvest Festival shooting. We’re going to be helping with the transport and cataloging of all the memorial tokens displayed in the days following the tragedy.

Burfict: Really? That’s it? Just some office work and moving around some old dried up ass flowers?

Carr: Brother Vontaze, if you feel that this service work is beneath your time or, perhaps, that you think the program itself is somehow lacking in direction —

Burfict: What? No, not at all.

Incognito: When’s breakfast? I’m supposed to meet with my handler over some coffee and prime rib this morning.

Carr: I’m sorry, Brother Richard, but our limited offseason availability means we need to hit 100% participation in these program activities. Damn union rules. Why won’t they just let us volunteer in the name of a $2.4 billion franchise in peace?

Incognito: Man, I’m going to fucking kill somebody if I don’t get a short stack and some motherfucking au jus for my prime rib breakfast platter — and I mean like right. fucking. now.

— Door Flies Open —

Antonio Brown: Oh that Richie! Guy’s a real joker, eh, DC? Great addition to the offense and a real locker room guy, you know.

Carr: Goodness gracious no! Swearing is never acceptable, even in a joking format. Such language…you know, this isn’t the US Senate, it’s the Raiders Veteran Mentorship Program.

Brown: Oh come on, DC, cut the guy a break. It’s his first day and, I gotta be honest, I don’t even know if anyone told Rich he couldn’t cuss.

Carr: Fair point. Were you aware of this restriction, Brother Richard?

Incognito: Wasn’t in any of my paperwork.

Brown: Seems to me that Vontaze should have told him. I mean, we’re only as strong as our weakest link. And does not Phillipians 2:4 tell us Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others?

Carr: Well of course is tells us that!

Burfict: Whoa! This dude literally stepped out of an exhibit like ten seconds before you pulled up, Derek!

Brown: I’m not sure Brother Vontaze is setting a strong example for Richard here.

Incognito: And I wasn’t kidding about that short stack.

Carr: Golly this is frustrating. We’re supposed to be cataloging here and I’m afraid we’re still out here in the parking lot huddle. I’m starting to wonder if this program is even worth the effort.

Brown: Look, let’s just head over to the volunteer cataloging area for the exhibit and see how much there really is to work on. Many hands, you know?

Carr: Great attitude, AB! Thank you for your participation!

The four men walk to the exhibit set up and look at the pure volume of artifacts to be catalogued and reorganized. 

Brown: Hey um, DC, just between you and me — #VegasStrong was a pretty traumatic experience for Brother Richard. I’m not saying there isn’t a place for him in the program here but, maybe just for today, we can line him up with an alternate assignment?

Carr: Oh my, I didn’t even think of the emotional toll such volunteer work may take on him. Of course we can find suitable efforts. Shucks! I left my to-do binder back at home. What do you think would be a good idea for him today?

Brown: Well, I think Brother Richard is already a little upset, even if he isn’t showing it. I was thinking I might take him to The Library and, you know, teach him a little about the culture here so, you know, he could really understand why we’re volunteering here. Then we’ll all pick back up next time.

Carr: That sounds grand. I just wonder — this was supposed to be a four man effort. How will we take care of the museum?

Brown: I’m sure Brother Vontaze can be counted on to pick up the slack.

Brown: So all we gotta do is get Carr’s passing numbers up and keep out of trouble while we’re in Vegas and this will all be just fine. That work for you?

Incognito: I don’t….where am I? And how do they make such sensational prime rib?!

Brown: You’re chewing on the booth.

Incognito: Don’t be gay.

Brown: How do you…what?

Incognito: I want to go back to my trailer. I got pills in there.

Light floods the club as the DOOR FLIES OPEN. BURFICT and CARR charge into the venue as the morning shift patrons hide from the warm sunlight entering through the doorway.

Burfict: Richie! Richie! We did it!

Incognito: Do what?

Carr: This is the….Library?

Burfict: Oh…..oh yeah. Well isn’t this interesting? We came to bring Brother Richie a poem to help him get over his PTSD and it turns our Brother Antonio has brought him to a….is this a gentlemen’s club?

Brown: Oh uh….this isn’t how it looks, guys. You see, uhhh…..

Carr: Mr Brown! You were one of the strongest supporters of the Veterans Mentorship Program. Now why would you think it appropriate to spend the morning in this…this…this Gomorrah!? You have one chance to explain yourself or, I’m afraid we’re just wasting the times of men like Brother Vontaze. Maybe I need to just sign off on his participation and shut down the program entirely….

Brown: No no — I can explain. You see, it’s uhh…it’s….

Incognito: This is the only place I feel safe, DC. I get that I shouldn’t be at a strip club in the mornings but I felt such anxiety and pressure seeing that display at the museum. And, ashamed of it or not, when I feel that way, this is my coping mechanism. I am working on improving this but — it isn’t like AB meant harm by bringing me here. He’s not handing a drunk a drink; he’s handing an offensive lineman the opportunity to perform. I want nothing more than to be a Raider, DC. Please — PLEASE — do not take this opportunity from me.

Carr: I….I guess you’re right. Come on, Vontaze. Let him get in his therapy. We can show him the poem later. Only about eleven hours to go!

BURFICT’s bemused objections are ignored by CARR as the men exit THE LIBRARY.

Candy: Who’s your friends?

Incognito: Just a couple of chumps. Now how about you call on back there and order Brother Brown and me some mozzarella sticks. We’re gonna be here a while.

INCOGNITO turns to BROWN and the men hold up their beer bottles.

Brown: Hey, you can’t have all Boy Scouts.

Incognito: Cheers to that!