INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

A pair of radio professionals are standing outside the recording booth sipping coffee.

CONNOR, THE INTERN: …but seriously, if there’s anything here you actually care about, get it out of sight.

PRODUCER: [picks up a gold-plated miniature Peabody Award replica and opens a desk drawer]

CONNOR: …mmm, probably better if you put it in your pocket.  And if there’s time, you might want to leave your wallet and cellphone out in the trunk of your car…

—[door flies open]—

BROCK OSWEILER: Ehhhh, wassup homies?

CONNOR: [under his breath] Shit.

PRODUCER: Brock, hey, glad you could make it.

They shake hands, then BROCK OSWEILER turns slowly, surveying the room.

BROCK OSWEILER: Soooo…this is what the inside of a radio station looks like, huh?

CONNOR: Brock!  Put it down.

BROCK: [eyes widen innocently] Huh?

CONNOR: The tape dispenser, Brock.

BROCK OSWEILER glances down to his waistline, where a tape dispenser is bulging out of his pocket.

BROCK: [removing the tape dispenser and setting it back on the desk] How’d that get there?

CONNOR: Just go in the booth, Brock.  We’ll talk to you from behind the glass here.

BROCK: Hey man, is this a radio show or a police interrogation?  Ha ha, I’m just kidding [pats them both on the shoulders].  Get ready for some radio magic!

BROCK OSWEILER heads into the booth and CONOR, THE INTERN shuts the door, cutting them off acoustically.

CONNOR: He’s got your Livestrong bracelet, you know.

PRODUCER: God-damnit.  When the hell did he do that?

CONNOR: Probably when he shook your hand.  Or maybe when he touched your shoulder just then.

PRODUCER: Damn.  Why the hell is he here, anyway?

CONNOR: I have to do a bunch of community service for my DUI, so my dad cooked up this peer mentoring thing where we have low-level criminals come in and learn what goes on here.  That way I can get my college credit and community service done at the same time.  So I’m kinda killing two birds with one stone.  Incidentally, Randy Johnson will be in here on Tuesday.  He got in trouble for, uh, animal cruelty.

PRODUCER: Man, I wish my dad owned this radio station.

CONNOR shrugs.

PRODUCER: Anyhow, let’s get started.  I…shit, where’s the microphone?

BROCK OSWEILER is seated at the desk in the recording booth with an innocent expression on his face.

PRODUCER: [punches talkback button] Brock, we can’t do the show without the microphone.

BROCK: Oh, this thing? [holds up microphone] It was all dusty.  I was cleaning it off.

PRODUCER: [exasperated] Right, right.  Okay, we’re live in three…two…one…

BROCK: Good afternoon!  Welcome to another edition of Request Line, where you give us a ring, and we will make those speakers SING.  This week’s theme: theft.  We’re taking songs about robbin’ and stealin’.  Whether you pulled off the big heist and walked away with a cool $72 million, or just snuck out the front door with a pack of cigarettes, we want to hear your true confession.  I’ll get us started with an old classic from the Fun Lovin’ Criminals.