Scene: The Rooney-Mara Doin’ It The Right Way Secret Mountain Hideaway Fortress (Actual location–Lake George)

Elisha: Did you see me in those new DirecTV commercials? I think they’re pretty neat!

THE BEN: THE BEN THINK SO ALSO TOO.

Elisha: It’s the Citizen watch of satellite television providers!

THE BEN: THE BEN HAVE DISH NETWORK.

Elisha: But than means that you don’t have access to the premium NFL Ticket Deluxe Ultra Super Intergalactic Planetary Package!

THE BEN: THE BEN NOT CARE. DISH NETWORK EASIER TO EAT OUT OF. LESS LOSS OF SIGNAL.

Elisha: Okaayyy…anyway, isn’t it annoying how Peyton gets all the attention and endorsements even though we’ve won everything?

THE BEN: UH HUH.

Elisha: And that he manages to choke practically every time? Especially when he couldn’t capitalize after the freaking Bettis fumble?

THE BEN: THE BEN MAKE GREATEST TACKLE IN STEELER HISTORY. THE BEN GET MANY CHACO TACOS LATER.

Elisha: And I made the greatest play in Super Bowl history! And all I got was a gosh darn Citizen watch campaign!

THE BEN: THE BEN CALL CHACO TACO. CHACO TACO NO CALL THE BEN BACK.

Elisha: They call us child-like…

THE BEN: AND RAPEY…

Elisha: They make fun of my ManningFace…

THE BEN: AND THE BEN’S GREY FIREMAN…

Elisha: But we’ll show them! We shall become…The Lords Of The Rings! I shall art Gandalf The Grey and shallier disperse many lightning bolts at my dark oppressors!

THE BEN: CAN THE BEN SHELL ART SLOTH?

Elisha: Sloth art not in The Lords Of The Rings, but we shall nevertheless make it so with my Super Bowl winning wizardry! Thou art now Slothbo Baggins!

THE BEN: HEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYY YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU GUUUUUUUUYYYYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSS