Hey Rube: Your 2018 Buffalo Bills Season “Preview”

"So maybe there's hope. Or maybe I'm going mad... In a nation ruled by swine, all pigs are upward mobile — and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: Not necessarily to Win, but mainly to keep from Losing Completely." -Hunter S. Thompson, The Great

Grease up the poles! Eagles Season Preview.

Hi there, how is it going? When we last wrote about the Eagles the date was November 14th 2017, You see ole Nick was far too talented to stay in Philly so he had to head out and see the world so he plied his trade in St. Louis for RAMMIT

New York Jets 2018 Preview, or Your Idiocy Tries to Escape the Underworld

It's that time of year, where leaves fall on the ground, a once-in-a-generation hurricane hits somewhere (this time Hawaii!), and you briefly think "Hey, maybe the Jets'll suck less than expected!" And sure, maybe they will! There are quarterbacks who aren't Josh McCown, so that's something. Not that McCown's had a

#QBANON: Your 2018 New England Patriots Preview

[EXT. - NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS TRAINING CAMP.] [The sun is shining over Gillette Stadium. No clouds are in the sky, and the stadium is beautiful.] [CUT to INT. - A dark, candlelit dungeon. A tall, hooded figure sits alone at a rough-hewn wooden table, with stacks of ancient, leather-bound volumes piled high.

“What The Hell Have I Paid For?” – A Seattle Seahawks Preview

I'm not supposed to be here. The Seahawks are normally Beastmode Ate My Baby's domain, and I know what's good for me. You'd normally find him here, but he's off working on the Foo Fighters tour as Pat Smear's personal roadie, so it's fallen to me to enter where others fear to

San Francisco 49ers Preview: Chimera-thon

The San Francisco 49ers, my team, my boys, feels now more like watching tape from one side of a 2014 Pro Bowl game.  I am a realist and I know that growing a team from the ground up takes time and cultivation that is akin to franchise suicide, but this

Donks 2018 – Welcome to SWAG World

That's right, baby.  Ain't nobody more popular than the backup QB, especially when he's the redneck nephew of Jim Kelly, who somehow managed to get kicked out of fucking Clemson yet be 10 times smarter than functional illiterate Paxton Lynch.  Anyway, here's the delightful Brandon Perna to take you through Swag

Arizona Cardinals Preview (2018)

Alright, alright! So how is everyone doing today? My name Sil---bastian….Sebastian Blax and I am here today to continue [DFO]'s preview of all 32 NFL teams! Its early on in the series but we're off to a great start here including our annual treat of Fozz/BAL hate,, honest assessments about

No Ones Chargers 2018 Season Preview

INTERIOR - ST. SOPHIA CATHEDRAL, LOS ANGELES - MIDDAY [A decent group of formal, yet lavishly dressed people sit in the pews as the funeral for Faye Spanos is about to get underway. However, due to the vast size of the church, the audience seems dwarfed by comparison. The organ softly