Miami Dolphins at the Bye: Limpin’ ain’t easy

As an older millennial . . . /Wakezilla dodges batteries, tin cans and feces thrown at him I was trained to hate MASH, particularly the theme song because it signified the end of two wonderful hours of Simpsons and Fresh Prince of Bel-Air syndicated episodes on CBC. Unfortunately, this song best describes

Your 2018-19 NHL Western Conference Preview

Yesterday, I raised the topic of the NHL's Eastern Conference, a.k.a. "the teams Gary Bettman wants to win the Cup". Today, it's the West, where dreams die upon the altar of the travel schedule. Pacific Division: Anaheim Ducks - by friend of Low Commander, Funky Brewmaster For the first time in a few

Your 2018-19 NHL Eastern Conference Preview

Hi, I'm Beerguyrob. As I am Canadian, I am more than qualified to rant about the upcoming NHL season. Y'know, that sport which occupies the dead zone between NFL broadcasts which isn't basketball. I'll leave it to Forbes to argue about the relative valuation of each team. The NHL has been

Hey Rube: Your 2018 Buffalo Bills Season “Preview”

"So maybe there's hope. Or maybe I'm going mad... In a nation ruled by swine, all pigs are upward mobile — and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: Not necessarily to Win, but mainly to keep from Losing Completely." -Hunter S. Thompson, The Great

Grease up the poles! Eagles Season Preview.

Hi there, how is it going? When we last wrote about the Eagles the date was November 14th 2017, You see ole Nick was far too talented to stay in Philly so he had to head out and see the world so he plied his trade in St. Louis for RAMMIT

New York Jets 2018 Preview, or Your Idiocy Tries to Escape the Underworld

It's that time of year, where leaves fall on the ground, a once-in-a-generation hurricane hits somewhere (this time Hawaii!), and you briefly think "Hey, maybe the Jets'll suck less than expected!" And sure, maybe they will! There are quarterbacks who aren't Josh McCown, so that's something. Not that McCown's had a

#QBANON: Your 2018 New England Patriots Preview

[EXT. - NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS TRAINING CAMP.] [The sun is shining over Gillette Stadium. No clouds are in the sky, and the stadium is beautiful.] [CUT to INT. - A dark, candlelit dungeon. A tall, hooded figure sits alone at a rough-hewn wooden table, with stacks of ancient, leather-bound volumes piled high.

That’s My Raiders! The New Class (Your 2018 Oakland Raiders Preview)

EXT. OAKLAND RAIDERS SHARED HOUSE - DAY Establishing shot and title card. ANNOUNCER BETH MOWINS: That's My Ravens [sic] is filmed in front of a live studio auditorium [sic]. --- CUT TO - INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY SUNSHINE COWSER sits on the coach, reading Sun Tzu's "The Art of War" in its original Chinese. 

“What The Hell Have I Paid For?” – A Seattle Seahawks Preview

I'm not supposed to be here. The Seahawks are normally Beastmode Ate My Baby's domain, and I know what's good for me. You'd normally find him here, but he's off working on the Foo Fighters tour as Pat Smear's personal roadie, so it's fallen to me to enter where others fear to

San Francisco 49ers Preview: Chimera-thon

The San Francisco 49ers, my team, my boys, feels now more like watching tape from one side of a 2014 Pro Bowl game.  I am a realist and I know that growing a team from the ground up takes time and cultivation that is akin to franchise suicide, but this