Banner photo from here. 3 posts from me in one week? You're fucking welcome. What's that? You have a complaint? What do you mean the NFL season has already started and this preview is late? The Bears haven't started their season yet, have they? So then it isn't late. Suck it. Anyway,
Team Previews
Green Bay Packers preview
Vikings Team Preview: The Defense gets Addressed.
banner image via [intro Vikings team quarters] /Coach Kevin O'Connell addresses the entire team Coach O'Connell: "Holy geez guys! We're gonna have a super swell season this year!" Idiot QB: "Oh heck ya! It's gonna be super swell!" CO: "Oh heck ya. Super sweet!" IQB: "Super sweet!" CO: "Guys? I'm just gonna tell ya, I'm soo jazzed
Nobody’s Chargers 2023 Season Preview: The Happiest Place
INTERIOR – DISNEYLAND PARKING LOT, ANAHEIM, CA – MORNING JUSTIN HERBERT: Oh boy oh boy! I'm so excited to finally get that authentic Hollywood experience! Somewhere where I can be just like all the locals! I can't wait to try Wolfgang Puck's for lunch! [Looks around the otherwise empty parking lot with
This is Your Denver Broncos 2023 Season Preview & Open Thread
“All About The Drip” – A Seattle Seahawks Preview
No Exit: Your 2023 New England Patriots Season Preview
SCENE: A locker room in retro Foxboro Stadium style. A massive, oversized, but dinged up Lombardi Trophy stands alone in a dusty display case. ROBERT KRAFT [enters, accompanied by the LOCKER ROOM ATTENDANT, and glances around him]: Hm! So here we are? LOCKER ROOM ATTENDANT: Yes, Mr. Kraft. KRAFT: And this is what
From Darkness Retreat to Bright Lights: Your 2023 Jets Preview
Burdened with Glorious Purpose: 2023 Buffalo Bills Preview and Tuesday Open Thread
2022 PREDICTION: 9-8 2022 REALITY: 13-3! (No record for Cincy game, on account of Damar Hamlin temporarily dying) From last year's Preview: There is nothing more depressing to a Bills fan than an expectation of success. We can't cope with it, because of our near-religious faith in The Narrative. The Narrative has taught us
It’s Nobody’s Business But Ours: A 2023 Arizona Cardinals Preview
New GM. New head coach. Carryover franchise[-priced] quarterback hurt and out for up-to the entire season. In 2022's Hortatio Did the Draft: Arizona Cardinals 2017, Budda Baker (Safety, University of Washington) is rated a Solid A with the following explanation: Budda Baker has played in the Pro Bowl, (or at least