Wangs of New York: Your 2019 Buffalo Bills Bye Week Bonanza

[Interior. Press Room at the Meadowlands. JOSH ALLEN is at the podium, answering questions after beating the New York "Football" "Giants".] ANONYMOUS PR FLACK: Ok guys, we've got time for one more question. SNOTTYASS MOTHERFUCKING REPORTER FOR THE NEW YORK POST OR SOME SHIT: There's a chance you could have ended up

The Bleergh Report – Week 5

ALL HAIL BLEERGH. In tribute to Bleergh, here's the week five's best and worst penalties. Here's a random breakdown of this weeks penalties.  I'm not going to even try to find the tape for these, nor am I making any judgement call on the individual penalties.  I'm sure that there are

The Bleergh Report – Week 4

ALL HAIL BLEERGH. In tribute to Bleergh, here's the week four's best and worst penalties. Here's a random breakdown of this weeks penalties.  I'm not going to even try to find the tape for these, nor am I making any judgement call on the individual penalties.  I'm sure that there are

The Miami Dolphins at the Bye

Another sold out crowd in Miami

Hello everyone! Welcome to the Dolphins at the bye—also known as the one week where Miami can’t lose on the field.  I’m your host, Wakezilla. Since this diarrhea-inside-a-dumpster-fire-outside-of-an-abortion-clinic season is going according to plan, there isn’t much to talk about, except for two positive stories: Raekown McMillan has turned into an

The Bleergh Report – Week 3

ALL HAIL BLEERGH. In tribute to Bleergh, here's the week three's best and worst penalties. Here's a random breakdown of this weeks penalties.  I'm not going to even try to find the tape for these, nor am I making any judgement call on the individual penalties.  I'm sure that there are

Way Too Many Words on the Jets at the Bye: A Jets at the Bye Post

Can I count those as way too many words? I mean I'll ramble to get to the minimum because this is me. Hmm, what to say considering I've watched about one half of Jets football. The Jets decided to take a page from the most successful team in New York, the

Balls On Your… Michelada

Sharkbait's Friday Cocktail series is one of my favourite recurring posts on this site. In last week's installment, Moose brought up a brilliant idea, which I think Sharky will explore in an upcoming post. Namely, the idea was to explore a drink and all the different variations that

The Bleergh Report – Week 2

ALL HAIL BLEERGH. In tribute to Bleergh, here's the week two's best and worst penalties. Here's a random breakdown of this weeks penalties.  I'm not going to even try to find the tape for these, nor am I making any judgement call on the individual penalties.  I'm sure that there are

The Bleergh Report – Week 1

ALL HAIL BLEERGH. In tribute to Bleergh, here's the week one's best and worst penalties. Here's a random breakdown of this weeks penalties.  I'm not going to even try to find the tape for these, nor am I making any judgement call on the individual penalties.  I'm sure that there are

Pissing Up God’s Flagpole: Your 2019 Detroit Lions Preview

[Author's Note: So this is it. The End. The final preview before the NFL meat grinder spins up to turn convert the bodies of healthy(ish) young men into Entertainment. Après moi le déluge de merde. Get hype.] Wyandotte. Shit. I'm only in Wyandotte. Every time, I think I'm going to wake up back in Midtown.... Everyone

Your “Holy shit, the Dolphins still exist?” 2019 Preview

/Scene opens with Wakezilla laying in bed, his two hands behind his head and his eyes wide open. Underneath the sheets is another body that begins just below Wakezilla's waist, with a head bobbing up and down. The bobbing stops and the sheets are raised to reveal Mrs. Wakezilla, wearing