MOST GLORIOUS EL BEISBOL CARDINALS (and some NFL thing) Open Thread

That's right, kids- Uncle Scotchy is...indisposed for the evening. Some people just can't hold their chloroform. WHICH MEANS that Ol' Reverend Mayhem is driving the train tonight, and he's all hopped up on the Halloween candy Dr. Mrs. Mayhem bought and tried to stash away. CAN'T HIDE THE REESE'S FROM ME,

Go Home, Fate, You’re Drunk: 2019 Detroit Lions at the Bye

[INTERIOR, STAGE WITH CLOSED CURTAIN. From offstage, muffled and slurred shouts are heard, mostly inaudible but include variations on "Not goin' outthere!" and "You an whose army, cock-knocker?"] [Eventually, REVEREND MAYHEM is shoved through the curtain and stumbles into frame, one hand clutching a bottle of brown liquid labeled "JJ Fozz

Goddess 3 : Eurotrip – Chapter 8 (Le Dénouement)

EXTERIOR, NORTH CAROLINA OUTER BANKS, EMERALD ISLE tWBS has caught a nice wave and is getting ready to move up the face to try a few maneuvers. It's his tenth wave of an epic day in which he has surfed to his heart's content with hardly anyone else in the

Goddess 3 : Eurotrip – Chapter 7

INTERIOR, A SHITTY RENTED AUDI HATCHBACK WITH FULL COLLISION COVERAGE, THE A-3, HEADING SOUTH PAST THE FRANKFURT AIRPORT Balls: So, where exactly are we going? tWBS:I don't care anymore. Hippo (looking sideways at Balls): Whaddayasay we hang out in Frankfurt? I've heard good things! Balls (exchanging glances with Hippo): Yeah!

Your 2019 Stillers Preview

I'm supposed to preview the 2019 Steelers. Let me start with this:   This entire division makes less sense than Drumpf's cabinet. People are talking about the Browns to be good? I trust (hashtag The Pauls) to be successful less than I trust Charlie Kelly can read.   Our dear friend Redshirt let us

Goddess 3 : Eurotrip – Chapter 6

INTERIOR, THE FASTEST CAR IN THE WORLD, A RENTED AUDI HATCHBACK WITH FULL COLLISION COVERAGE, THE A-3, JUST INSIDE GERMANY Hippo: YEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAWWWWWWW I AM FOOOOOOKKKINNN CRAAAAAAAZZZZZYYYYYY!!! Balls (in the backseat, crossing myself): ¡¡Jesús, María, José!! tWBS (riding shotgun because he called it a half a second before

Goddess 3 : Eurotrip – Chapter 5

EXTERIOR, THE PORT OF AMSTERDAM Balls: Alright, boys! We're here! Hippo (carrying luggage): Hold up! tWBS: Aren't you happy that we flew WOW airlines now? Balls: You know, I have to give it up to you. It certainly makes getting around a lot easier. tWBS: So, how are we

TB12Tots: Your Guide to Safely Endangering Children

Hi, I'm Tom Brady. You may remember me from giving your asshole acquaintances from Boston an undeserved sense of accomplishment for the last 18 years. People ask me, "How could you, a man generally considered bright enough to tie his own shoelaces without drooling on himself overmuch, decide that it was

Goddess 3 : Eurotrip – Chapter 4

EXTERIOR, THE HORSESHOE PUB, LONDON, EC1R 0AG, THE NEXT MORNING Balls: Are you sure it's a wise move to go back to the pub? What if Mary is there? tWBS: Oh, there's no chance of that. There was... an accident. Balls: What?!? Again? tWBS: It wasn't my fault! Balls:

Goddess 3 : Eurotrip – Chapter 3

INTERIOR, THE HORSESHOE PUB, LONDON, EC1R 0AG, Drunk King Hippo: Methinks this will be an excellent match tonight. Gots +240 on Hammerin' Hank to score. Up the Toffees!!! Drunk Englishman: UP THE TOFFEES!!! They both crash their pint glasses into each other and promptly down the amber nectar. Drunk King