Commentist Beer Barrel: Heineken

Heineken is an amoral mercantile outfit that appropriated the Red Star. Still, please: put down your pitchforks and torches, because I like their beer. Per Wikipedia: Heineken Lager Beer (Dutch: Heineken Pilsener)—wait. Is Heineken a Pilsener or lager? The bottle says “lager”, which settles the issue. At least for me, because I’m not

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 13, 2019 Season

I like to stay away from the super deep thoughts.  Because deep down, comedian Doug Stanhope has it right - the key to life is to not give a shit: When you care, you get fucked over.  Especially in sportsball.  But we can't help it. Lucky #13 held true for some of

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 12, 2019 Season

Welcome to "Cold November Rain" recapping.  The quality of the FITBAW was weather appropriate. [Hippo-To-English subtitles provided by the Church of the Immaculate Deception, Rev. E. Mayhem presiding] Hearty congrats to Rev. Mayhem [Woo!] for winning [WOOOO!] the Derby against me (and Moose, make it snow, Mistborn, etc.). [Suck it, Samwise! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!]

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 11, 2019 Season

Allow me a brief moment to React Reasonably, then we will speak no more of that Donks/Vikes abortion.  In my measured, humble opinion, the entire officiating crew are welcome to have sex with themselves, while their ded grandparents watch, after such time their genitalia shall turn green and fall off.  [The

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 10, 2019 Season

Oh me, oh my - some BANANACAKES stuff went down late, in several locales.  No Donks WOO! = no Hippo stress, just enjoyed the parade. I don't think too many folk would have been surprised by a 26-9 scoreline, but the "9" belonged to Breesus HOME against the Falcons?  I

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 9, 2019 Season

Welcome to Monday, ladies and (chuckle) gentlemen - it was a full MANDATORY 14 hours of glorious FITBAW!  But of course, some fixtures were more glorious than others. [EDITOR'S NOTE: Hippo is wise, but like the ancient Oracle at Delphi, he often speaks in a...cryptic...language that can require some interpretation. Thus, the

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 8, 2019 Season

What Week 8 lacked in greatness, it made up for it with folly.  Oh, folly abounded. Chi****/ex-San Diego played perhaps the derpiest game I have ever seen, at least without weather playing a major role.  Bollo del Verdad remained atrocious.  Matt Nagy wisely ran, ran, then ran some more...for most of

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 7, 2019 Season

Forgive me if these are even shittier than usual - I'm not in a particularly decent mood (even by Hippo standards). Naturally, one should lead off with the Tomsulas' 9-nil win over the Dacteds in wet, dire Landover.  Under 10 points for both sides combined, in a game with no snow

Sunday Gravy with yeah right: Game Day Quickie – Chicago Style Italian Beef Sandwich

Well hello there everyone! Didn't expect an "in season" Sunday Gravy post now did you? One of the promises I made to myself was that if I cooked anything tasty during football season that could be converted into a "Game Day" meal then I would share that fucker. Guess what? I cooked just that

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 5, 2019 Season

The best one can really ever expect out of this piece of shit life is a mixed bag.  Thusly, I found out (having to run an annoying parenting errand) that I could NOT get the satellite broadcast of my Donks continuing to shitcan King Laserface, but instead was stuck listening