Your “We Could Use Another Miracle Right About Now” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Evening, dick jokers and jokerettes. As you may have heard, resident open threader BrewHomeyRex is on leave this weekly, likely exploiting free Canadian health care and bragging about his head-of-state's glove size.  But enough about maple leaf condoms, I volunteered to fill in today for two reasons: Chanukah and the

Your “Winter Can Bite Me” MNF Open Thread

Yes, winter can bite my fat white ass. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxrwImCJCqk In my neck o' the woods, we had snow and ice this weekend, and most of it is still on the ground.  That's because it's still cold as shit.  I live in the south, dammit.  This isn't supposed to happen.  Or at least

Your “Holy Sh*tsnacks Batman…No Football?” Saturday Evening Open Thread

Nope, no football tonight.  More or less. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJcwqyhUtH0 OK, calm down, don't cry.  There actually is if you want it badly enough. The FCS quarterfinals do continue tonight with the #16 Kennesaw State Owls facing the #5 Sam Houston State BearKats.  But that's on ESPN3 though (8:30pmEST), so I say screw that game. 

TGISF… AKA Your “Wang Chung Tonight” Sexy Friday Open Thread

Short week this week for a few reasons.  So I'm dipping into the "Pool of Princesses" for TGISF this week to make things easy on myself.  Low hanging fruit, yada yada yada. And while I don't have the energy or the creativity to try to be coy with the identity of

Your “Where’s My Inhaler?” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: Suspension updates: George Iloka's has been reduced to a fine. The appeal was based on Brown landing crooked & turning his head prior to the hit, making helmet-to-helmet contact almost unavoidable. The Chiefs have suspended Marcus Peters for Sunday's game. because he left the field of play while

Your “Beaten Like A Government Mule!” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Well, last night's game turned into the shitfest most of us feared it would become. Stupid me thought that, with both teams having implications from a loss, they'd keep it clean for the good of their season. Expect suspensions to be announced later today or by lunch Wednesday. Smith-Schuster and

Your “The Official Flavour Of The 2017 NY Giants” Monday Night Football Open Thread

NFL News: The expected became fact this morning, as Ben McAdoo & GM Jerry Reese were both fired by the Giants. Reese can claim to at least have contributed to the Giants recent Super Bowls, so his tenure wasn't an abject failure but simply a collective one. Steve Spagnuolo will

Your “Sunday Night Is For The Birds” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

Banner image from NBC Sports Evening, degenerates.  Your usual sot/introducer was unable to cobble together enough enthusiasm to slog through three of these open threads today, and who can blame him? I climbed out of the content mines juuuuust long enough to hit 30,000 feet and write up a little something