Your “Thank Goodness The First Weekend Is Almost Over” Sunday Evening Open Thread

I think maybe...maybe....just maybe I drank too much yesterday during the baxetballing. Yesterday, I had bought a 1.75 litre bottle of vodka.  And then this morning I noticed half of it was gone. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97ECZMvbLxg Now....(ahem).... In my defense, I did have family and friends over yesterday.  So it is very possible some of

Your “A Bet Is A Bet” Saturday Evening Open Thread

Let me first say that betting is a bad thing to do.  Do as I say, not as I do.  And you are an idiot if you follow MY betting advice.  Don't believe me...?  Just look at my brackets. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lexhv8MaXQ8 If you're really wanting to go and follow anyone's betting advice it

2019 NCAAT 1st Round Thursday – Early Window Open Thread

Huzzah for life distractions! #10(E) Minnesota (+5.5, +210) v. #7(E) Louisville (12:15, CBS) Don't bet the over/under on "Minute Man" Pitino crowd shots.  You don't want to die of liver failure this early in the tourney. #14(E) Yale (+6.5, +250) v. #3(E) LSU (12:40, truTV) Oh, the taeks about these fine, upstanding, future white

Better Know A Bracket – 2019 East and West (i.e., the Left)

Welcome to this year's edition of me spouting off my mouth recklessly and stupidly.  Due to the generosity of the #ContentFairy (no ofence), we are smushing these into two entries this season.  Yes, the play-in games are covered here to keep you on-schedule. Also yes, I fucking know that Eastern Washington

So Much Lesser Footy, So Much HATE

Yes, that obnoxious bleating Geordie will be creaming his knickers all over Real and Barca this afternoon (2:45 EST, BeIn).  Yet another el Clasico, coming off the heels of a dull as dishwater Copa tie mid-week.  Same location, even. But my blood is up, yet again, for the Merseyside Derby (Sunday,

Saturday Morning Footy – Open Thread

Good morning commentists wherever you are in the frozen northern hemisphere! This Premier League season has been a roller coaster of emotions for me as my beloved London Jaguras have been absolutely terrible this campaign. They've allowed 53 goals in 24 games. I am not a mathlete but that is not

Your “Superb Owl Weekend” Friday Evening Open Thread

That banner image....  That is one Superb Owl, right?  RIGHT??????? Here, have another... Hehehehe....that one always makes me laugh.  And I needed a good laugh right now. /sighs heavily I've had a disheartening and exhausting couple of days recently.  Some of you know why.  Better I don't talk about it publicly. So let's just get

Celebrity Super Bowl Picks: Tomi Lahren

Many news organizations and pop culture websites report Super Bowl picks from today's hottest celebrities. Here at DoorFliesOpen, we decided to request picks from horrible people instead. Hatemongering attention whore Timmi Latrine answered the call and submitted this poorly-worded screed for our amusement. This is entirely unedited and in her

A Mini-Roundtable Before (NFL 2018 Season) Dying (also 20 January Lesser Footy)

For your non-reading, non-pleasure - while you no doubt enjoy the Huddersfield/City and Spurs/Mighty Whitey double bill on NBCSN: Son of Spam NFC: Rams over the Saints because I'm an unabashed homer (mmmm...beer...) and the Gumbo offense has been kinda mediocre for a while. Let's say 106-20. AFC: Chiefs beat the Evil Empire by 10,