Yinzer Morons Bye Week Who Cares

After six games, does anyone really know what this team is? They've been run over by Bawler, tore HOTLANTA apart by the sinew, and tied against the freaking Browns. THE BEN has either been the probable Hall-Of-Famer he most likely is on good days, and looking more like Nate Peterman on

Your “I’ll Be Honest-I’m Hoping For a Travesty Here” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

You know, the good kind of travesty whereby extraordinary misfortune befalls the easily-hateable team that has experienced so much success. The one that has had the benefit of iffy ref calls for more than a decade now. The team that has an owner that has more than doubled his significant

Your 2018-19 NHL Western Conference Preview

Yesterday, I raised the topic of the NHL's Eastern Conference, a.k.a. "the teams Gary Bettman wants to win the Cup". Today, it's the West, where dreams die upon the altar of the travel schedule. Pacific Division: Anaheim Ducks - by friend of Low Commander, Funky Brewmaster For the first time in a few

“What The Hell Have I Paid For?” – A Seattle Seahawks Preview

I'm not supposed to be here. The Seahawks are normally Beastmode Ate My Baby's domain, and I know what's good for me. You'd normally find him here, but he's off working on the Foo Fighters tour as Pat Smear's personal roadie, so it's fallen to me to enter where others fear to

World Cup Reflection: A round table discussion of what has happened so far

Inside an empty DFO boardroom, the door flies open In walks Downton Abbey actor, Jim Carter, wearing his traditional Carson outfit Carter: All rise for the current fantasy DFO World Cup of Lesser footy leader. . . as of July 5th, 2018, Master, Wakezilla. In walks the King amongst men, Wakezilla. Wakezilla

World Cup 2018 Panama Preview: The Dirtiest Players in the Game

Panama is an interesting team (on paper) because their World Cup tournament could go one of two ways. The first way is what most people are predicting: the oldest and arguably least talented squad in the tournament is going to finish last and will be lucky to score a goal.

World Cup 2018 Croatia Preview: It feels a little like ’98

It seems like yesterday when I was a kid watching Croatia make their World Cup debut in 1998. I remember thinking their checkered jerseys were cool. Combine those sweet uniforms with Davor Šuker's cheeky skills and I was rooting for Croatia during their magical 3rd place finish. I think there is a great

Take A Knee Zeke! It’s The Dallas Cowboys At The Bye!

Before we get into the travesty that the Cowboys' 2017 season is about the become, a few words about Jerry Jones.  Unless you were living under a rock the last couple of weeks you know that our grandstanding Vice-President, Mike "I'm Terrified Of Any Woman Not My Mother" Pence, attended

YA BETTA SUE SOMEBODAYYYY: Your [DFO] Law and Fantasy Football Mailbag

Nazis! Suspensions! Nuclear War! Trades! What a week for questions about law and fantasy football!  Unsurprisingly, most of your law questions were about our Ululating Sack Of Wet FartsDear Leader and the legal ramifications of his relentless drive to make this world an even more terrible place than it already

Executing Jameis: Your DFO Legal and Fantasy Football Mailbag

ALL RISE! The DFO Mailbag of Law and Fantasy Football is Now In Session (please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page). Greetings Dick Joke Enthusiasts.  It's your old pal TrollSoHardUniversity.  As some of you know, I'm licensed attorney and a fantasy football mastermind.    Last January, I came