What the fuck do I even say? What even is there? It’s not as if our team has just been beleaguered by injuries (*hands Beastmode a tissue for his tears) or some other catastrophic accident, our lackluster season has been the culmination of systemic and repetitive organizational ambivalence and ineptitude.
By now, you've read a great many of these bye week updates. All with an unique style and approach. Bravo and much praise to my colleagues for creating such mirth and merriment. I had intended to have some kind of off-kilter oddball opus of my own to contribute to the
[Interior, Night, Somewhere in Baltimore]
JJ Fozz and tWBS sit at a bar drinking. Heavily. As they feast on steamed crabs...
...and down beer after beer, the news comes on the TeeVee box over the bar....
...In what's being called an intervention from God, we're learning now that Joe Flacco has been found.
It's about 11 PM Sunday night, and a young-ish man in a suit is driving home. It was a fairly loud gig, so the car is silent, apart from his occasional thoughts to himself about life, the universe, and everything.
Senor Weaselo: Hmm, so tomorrow I've got that show in the
INT. THE PARLOR AT CROFTON COURT - NIGHT
A trio of distinguished gentlemen are seated at a table around a ouija board. Two of them - HENDRICK and WINCHESTER - have their hands resting gently on the planchette, while the third - XAVIER - sits with his arms crossed in a
Well here we are on the bye week and I have to say I never thought that the Eagles would be having the best record in the league. Hell, I would have been happy if they were 5-4 but still staring up at the unmentionables in the division. Through the
[Exterior, Day, A Highway Rest Area Somewhere in Virginia]
It is a cold, crisp autumn day. tWBS sits huddled on a bench, shivering against a stiff wind, waiting patiently for.... something.
His phone begins to ring.
tWBS: Ah dammit.
tWBS fumbles into his pocket with fingers which are stiff and numbed from the cold.
Week 10 is upon us imminently, and the New England Patriots are, once again, atop the AFC East Division, with a 6-2 record.
FACK THEM, THOSE FACKIN' QUEEAHS
I CAN'T BELIEVE I CHEEAHD FOAH THIS FACKIN' TEAM, EVAH
Wait -- Tawmmy -- why are you upset, exactly? I feel like considering the questionable
As the Vikings prepare to leave their bye week and begin the second half of the season, the team sits in first place of the NFC North with a record of 6-2 and a full two game lead over both Detroit and Green Bay. Actually based on an early loss
Scene: Once again, two large(ish) men speak in hushed tones as they walk together, this time deep in the woods of Utica, IL, cutting a trail through a state park. They are a study in contrasts, physically and verbally, though both appear prepared for a long journey, massive backpacks hugging their
Thought you were done with me, huh?
Nope! Because the Pittsburgh Steelers had a bye in the week just concluded, you get an update on where they are this season.
Also, because it's me, you get it in homophonic pictorial form.
Okay, let's start. I originally said that this season would hinge on
There has been a fair amount of discussion so far this year of what the new name for the football team formerly residing in San Diego should be. To BOLTMAN, they will forever be the Heretics. To many on this site, various combination of Football/Shitty Clippers and LAwnmowers has been