This is a bit of a footy desert for us degenerate #HAILGAMBLOR types. There is less to pick and choose from, so we tend to...force the #ACTION a bit? Anyway, happy me that Sweden, Norway, Finland, Brasil, Belarus, etc. are all kicking back into gear today. Them's is leagues I
That's right, fellow white devils (and jiminy Christmas, where is Big Black Richard??) - BeIn is doing Norteamericanos a big favour and televising the 2019 Cup of Nations/Afrikan Euros. Action kicked off yesterday with host Egypt (fuck off, Mo Salah) beating a game Zimbabwe squad, 1-nil.
You get a triple-header on
It wasn't supposed to be this way. There are far more knowledgeable soccer doofuses that should be doing this but I volunteered and y'all gonna bathe in my ignorance.
Nether Regions/Roger Milla's Granddaughters:
Cameroon played surprisingly well vs. the Canucks last time out (or were the Canucks just a little too tight?)
Hola morning people!
Let's start off here, I know nothing of Peruvian football or footballers.
What do I know about Peru? They make Pisco which is a fermented grape alcohol that makes a Pisco Sour and is bloody delicious. They have that, and cocaine. I imagine every Peruvian party to be Pisco,
Reasons why you should cheer for Venezuela:
Venezuela is starving for the attention of lesser footy fans who do not have any blood ties to any country participating in the Copa América. Their team nickname, La Vino Tinto (Red wine), is literally encouraging you to drink alcohol while watching them play!
After penning an ode to Los Donkeyfuckers earlier this week, I had a bit of trepidation Googling "VICE news Chile" - alas, it doesn't seem like La Roja are famously into boning livestock. I'm sure my college drinking buddy Rodrigo will be heartbroken.
Fun story about Rodrigo - at his 2nd wedding,
As you all know by now, Brasil is the Land of the Ass. Please note that I will be spelling Brasil with the "s" and not the "z" because the country is called Brasil in its native language and it is also Brasil in Spanish.
Where was I?
El fútbol Boliviano no tiene gran historia. El equipo siempre ha tratado de...
Wait, you wanted me to do this entire preview in English? Fiiiine!
Bolivia is not well-known for a lot of things, fútbol being one of them. As I mentioned in the overall Copa América post, it
Well, it was kind of fun. Shit-ass Liverpool got pipped for the Prem title, thanks to their draw at Goodison Park. I don't like many of the results in the Champions League, but the action on the pitch has been pure Bananacakes (also, Come On, You Spurs!). But all must come
Man City aren't going to go an unprecedented 4-for-4, thanks to some dodgy VAR decisions in their Champions League quarterfinal with Spurs. But fuck it, they were being stretched depth-wise as is, and it was MOAR important that they keep the fucking Shite from winning the Prem for the first
Happy Kentucky Derby eve! In honor of the "most exciting two minutes in sports", and that Kentucky is home to America's Official Spirit, it's only right that we drink copious amounts of bourbon this weekend. Since the vast majority of people are sipping mint juleps, I think we should stand
Yes, I have no fucks to give about this year's Flacco Eight. What a wretched, boring, vanilla-ass torneo. But the big leagues in Europe and Sudamerica are back, by God. So let us enjoy some proper Lesser Footy.
Perhaps you wish to sleep in. The Premiership has you covered, starting with