WEEK ONE OF THE PRESEASON WOOOOOOOOOO.... Who's ready to watch sixth-round draft picks from Middle Tennessee State run into undrafted guys from Cal-Poly and Mount Union?! This is our methadone for the four weeks, before our six month heroin bender begins. 24 teams (that's 75% of the league; MATH!) play tonight. Here's

Let’s Take a Field Trip!

Banner image via some random ass site Scene: A large industrial footprint that, come on, you can read the banner image, right? Clearly we're at a recycling facility. Let's say it's north of New York for proximity to the NFL offices and because where exactly doesn't matter. It's fiction, just suspend

2017 Quotables — Week 8 Results

Ball already across the line? Touchdown Seahawks!

SCENE: Deep in the #Content mines of DFO, a group of trained monkeys--I mean DFO writers--are shackled to their typewriters. Someone gave tWBS a laptop once, and after that, no one was issued a wifi-enabled device ever again. Quietly, nearly imperceptibly, YEAHRIGHT and SHOGUN MARCUS begin whispering to each other,

HRTN: Moving Day

The scene: The Secret Base on the Island of Doktor Zymm! Specifically, right outside of the secret base, where there's a yard sale in progress. Ninjas and techs are looking through the variety of toasters, clocks, beakers, centrifuges, weights, televisions... Marc Trestmans Windowless Van is sitting at a table with

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 94)

The scene: The Secret Base on the Island of Doktor Zymm! Specifically the cafeteria, where Ballsofsteelandfury, Marc Trestmans Windowless Van, Moosemas Gorilla, BFC and Jerry have retreated to eat and drink after Doktor Zymm made anatomical references to Mr. Fantastic's... Ballsofsteelandfury: Sausage? BFC takes a sausage from the plate with a nod. BFC: