Yinzer Morons Bye Week Who Cares

After six games, does anyone really know what this team is? They've been run over by Bawler, tore HOTLANTA apart by the sinew, and tied against the freaking Browns. THE BEN has either been the probable Hall-Of-Famer he most likely is on good days, and looking more like Nate Peterman on

Your Friday Night Open Thread / Weekend Homework Assignment

So,  your friendly neighborhood Balls was enjoying his Labour Day weekend of not doing jack shit when he decided to not only start talking in the third person,  but he also discovered some horrifying news. Sit yourselves down for this one: Apparently,  the Miss Bumbum pageant in Brazil will end after this

Your “It’s Friday. Let’s Eat And Drink And Drug Like The Champs We Are” Friday Night Football Open Thread

It's shitty preseason ball and a couple of shitty teams are involved in this double-header. Call it "un-beautiful symmetry", maybe? Whatever, my eyebulbs are gonna catch some action. One thing I've got an issue with is the fact that this is the first weekend that all teams are playing and

HAWT PRESEASON AXXSHUN! Thursday Night

WEEK ONE OF THE PRESEASON WOOOOOOOOOO.... Who's ready to watch sixth-round draft picks from Middle Tennessee State run into undrafted guys from Cal-Poly and Mount Union?! This is our methadone for the four weeks, before our six month heroin bender begins. 24 teams (that's 75% of the league; MATH!) play tonight. Here's

Your 2018 US Open Day 1 Preview and All-Day Thread to Waste Time at Work and Avoid Your Family!

This United States Open. Golf's greatest test; it is my favorite tournament in golf, which makes it one of my top-three and a half sporting events of the year (NCAA Basketball Tournament, NHL Playoffs, and/or NFL Playoffs/WVU made a major bowl game). What makes the US Open truly "Open" is that

World Cup 2018 South Korea Preview: So you’re saying there’s a chance

*Scene opens to a pitch black room. All you can see is black and the sounds of an older man grunting* Old Man breathing heavily: Oh yeah, that little black dress is getting a little uncomfortable. Take it off, baby. *The sound of pumping Vaseline can be heard* OM: Oh yeah, almost there,

Goddess II – Epilogue

EXTERIOR, Balls' beach house, pool deck, San Felipe,  Baja California,  México The sun is slowly setting on the mountains at Balls' back leaving streaks of pink, orange, and yellow across the cloudy sky. In front of Balls, the Sea of Cortés is calm and reflects the light of the bluish-purplish sky as

Goddess II – The Conclusion(?)

[The Outskirts of  Las Vegas, Nevada, 7:38am] tWBS guides the van past the last completed housing development on this particular road, then takes the next right, pulling into a development which was abandoned during construction as money and luck ran out. There are no residents just yet. tWBS:  This should do. He drives

The Candidate

Any executives in the room? Anyone responsible for human resources, HR? How about anyone from a workplace that is always looking for good people? You know, fits in. Would be a good match for the culture. Maybe someone young? Fresh blood. New ideas, ya know? Ever try LinkedIn? It's like Facebook but for professional

Goddess II – Episode 15

[Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino, Parking Deck, 7:07am] A small and fragile looking elderly woman approaches the van where Luis, Manuel and Brad are still waiting.  Brad has fallen back asleep. Luis:  Hey lady.  Get outta here before you get in the way and... Woman:  STFU.  Are you Luis? Luis (looking at Manuel then

Goddess II – Episode 14

[Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino, Skyview Suite, 6:07am] tWBS staggers out of the living room.  There are still eight porn girls (and also BallsofSteelandFury) piled up on one another on the floor behind him as he exits the room and hits the kitchen.  He still has a black lace thigh high

Goddess II – Episode 13

She was stretched out as far as her legs could go and there were tongues all over her body.  One on her left nipple and one on her right.  Another was licking her clit while yet another was tonguing her asshole  Balls was kissing her as the others did their