Here's a secret: I despise the dipshits who run Augusta National Golf Club. Glad-handing, misogynist dickheads who use the ideas of "tradition" and "the old ways" to actively make their golf tournament as white as possible. IT'S A GOLF TOURNAMENT YOU FUCKING FUCKS. Fuck these people with Satan's chainsaw wang. Yeah,
Author's Note: This is a piece I started and stopped about a hundred times since last fall. All this is long past now.
We're going to bury my grandfather on Sunday.
He wasn't my "real" grandfather. That is to say, he wasn't the father (or stepfather) of either of my parents. He
Yes, that obnoxious bleating Geordie will be creaming his knickers all over Real and Barca this afternoon (2:45 EST, BeIn). Yet another el Clasico, coming off the heels of a dull as dishwater Copa tie mid-week. Same location, even.
But my blood is up, yet again, for the Merseyside Derby (Sunday,
Oh dear...it's so sweet it should come with a vial of insulin...I though "ROFL" was just an expression....
Brothers and sisters, we live in an Age of Common Wonders. We can talk instantaneously to someone on the other side of the planet and we think nothing of it. We have computers
Jared Goff is liquid shit. The Baby Buster moniker is now unfair to Mr. Bluth.
But the hidden villain here is Andy Reid. How in the name of Sweet Jeebus Tittyfuck did he not beat those dickass P*ts? They have NOTHING. You had the NFL's most valuable player, and somehow didn't
Many news organizations and pop culture websites report Super Bowl picks from today's hottest celebrities. Here at DoorFliesOpen, we decided to request picks from horrible people instead. Hatemongering attention whore Timmi Latrine answered the call and submitted this poorly-worded screed for our amusement. This is entirely unedited and in her
As i'm writing this, the Fox crew is still showing highlights of the Patriots' convincing win over the Chargers in the Divisional Round. No one in LA except the players, the coaches, and their families is particularly upset about it.
You may ask yourself why.
Did y'all somewhat enjoy the "action" yesterday? Buckle up, they's MOAR comin' - like a 70s key party.
We started with an imaginarium hosting yet another Saturday afternoon fixture, defying all conventional notions of physics. Chalk this win up to an amazing game plan on both sides of the Humps'
I am in no way, shape, or form going to try to lay out the structure or matchups involved in the English FA Cup. I know Everton's home tie with Lincoln City is on ESPN+ at 10:00. Surely, I will watch it and bitch heartily.
No, we will collect the hivemind
Good morning fellow DFOers!
Thanks to the good folks at Make-a-Wish foundation, your imaginary pal Wakezilla is hosting the Lesser Footy AM thread again. If anyone asks, I have tumorsyphilisitisosis. Yes, I know the disease sounds both sexy and very terminal. *cough*
In case you are wondering about the featured image, that
The Patses are 7-3! Really goods, we is!
Only two games up on the rest of the division, oh nos!
We'll wins it again anyways!
Lost to nasty Lionses, and Jagses and Titanses! Just barely beat the Bearses, it dids!
We beats the Chiefses and Packers!
The defence, especially the pass rush, is getting ruineds!
As you may recall, the DFO team had a homework assignment a couple of months back. On September 7, 2018, on the eve of the NFL season starting, I took over tWBS's Sexy Friday post and set up a poll which would determine which Brazilian ass was the best Brazilian