Guay Referendum: 2019 Copa América Day 3

Today is the debut of Paraguay and Uruguay in the Copa América. Fish out of sand Qatar takes on Paraguay and the better Guay (YMMV) takes Ecuador. But let’s acknowledge the significance of this day. Via giphy.com Happy Vasectomy Awareness Day, reprobates. The smell of baby powder makes me squirm like a vampire

We need to talk about last night’s Paradise Hotel: Chlamydia Stew

I swear to you that I have better taste. I do not just exclusively watch skanky reality television. Last night, I had finished dinner and I was perusing the channel guide when I saw that Paradise Hotel was airing on FOX. Unlike with Temptation Island, I had never seen

A Tradition Like Any Other: Augusta National Can F*** Right Off

Here's a secret: I despise the dipshits who run Augusta National Golf Club. Glad-handing, misogynist dickheads who use the ideas of "tradition" and "the old ways" to actively make their golf tournament as white as possible. IT'S A GOLF TOURNAMENT YOU FUCKING FUCKS. Fuck these people with Satan's chainsaw wang. Yeah,

So Much Lesser Footy, So Much HATE

Yes, that obnoxious bleating Geordie will be creaming his knickers all over Real and Barca this afternoon (2:45 EST, BeIn).  Yet another el Clasico, coming off the heels of a dull as dishwater Copa tie mid-week.  Same location, even. But my blood is up, yet again, for the Merseyside Derby (Sunday,

CrimeBeat!: Patriots Schadenfreude Day Edition

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh dear...it's so sweet it should come with a vial of insulin...I though "ROFL" was just an expression.... Brothers and sisters, we live in an Age of Common Wonders.  We can talk instantaneously to someone on the other side of the planet and we think nothing of it. We have computers

Sunday Morning Wild Card Hippo Thoughts y Roundtable

Did y'all somewhat enjoy the "action" yesterday?  Buckle up, they's MOAR comin' - like a 70s key party. We started with an imaginarium hosting yet another Saturday afternoon fixture, defying all conventional notions of physics.  Chalk this win up to an amazing game plan on both sides of the Humps'

A Round Man’s Roundtable (Saturday Fixtures) – Also FA Cup/Lesser Footy Open Thread

I am in no way, shape, or form going to try to lay out the structure or matchups involved in the English FA Cup.  I know Everton's home tie with Lincoln City is on ESPN+ at 10:00.  Surely, I will watch it and bitch heartily. No, we will collect the hivemind

Jason Garrett Evaluates his Roster

Interior: Dallas Cowboys practice facility, Frisco Texas. Jason Garrett: "Hey Scott." Scott Linehan: "Jason." JG: "Gonna be a tough schedule from here on out." SL: "Shore is, Jason. Although, we got a couple of winnable games in there." JG: "Hell, they're all tough opponents in the NFL and especially this time of year." SL: "Yep." JG: "So,

Bob McNair goes to the Good Place

/Inside an empty waiting room with an instrumental version of Creed’s My Sacrifice being played in the background /Suddenly, a Door Flies Open. A younger looking Bob McNair enters the room Bob McNair: What in the hell? Where am I? /A Confused McNair notices another door to his left and decides to walk

Bye Week Update: New England Patriots

The Patses are 7-3! Really goods, we is! Only two games up on the rest of the division, oh nos! We'll wins it again anyways! Lost to nasty Lionses, and Jagses and Titanses! Just barely beat the Bearses, it dids! We beats the Chiefses and Packers! The defence, especially the pass rush, is getting ruineds! Undefeated