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Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: Back to Work

Senor Weaselo

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Which is to say, I spent the last three weeks running around for personal rather than business reasons, but we’re back to work this week, which means today I’m *checks text thread* playing for people getting on a boat. Sure. Meanwhile, this SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY I’ll be playing the national anthem for a minor league baseball team… and this time they didn’t double-book me so I have to play other things at the last minute. I hope.

Coming up in the next few weeks is the fantasy football name guide, a staple of all comedy, dick joke, and sometimes football blogs. It’s a bit difficult this year because how many “This country is totally fucked” ways can you say it? Well, yeah, many. A lot. Like deleting habeas corpus from the webpage that has the Constitution. Obviously not from the Constitution. Yet.

…Anyway, how can we distract ourselves from the shitshow? Other than the impending death of RedZone. Also with this ESPN now has the official fantasy football of the NFL. This means nothing for the DFOLeagues(™) until inevitable enshittification means that there will only be one company allowed and anyone else will be fined by THE SHIELD and THE WORLDWIDE LEADER with the loss of at least one arm, leg, and/or kidney.

The short answer? The circuses portion of bread and circuses. What’s our nightly circus?

Leagues Cup aka Liga MX wailing on MLS… is all on Apple TV. So on nationals, there’s…

Yes, baseball
Uecker in the Outfield? vs. Former Milwaukee (MIL vs. ATL, 7:15, FS1)

Regional sports aplenty. Man, we don’t even get some quality circuses while we’re goose-stepped to Hell, what a fucking ripoff.

Enjoy… whatever we got.

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WCS

I had had a weird feeling for most of the day. I felt like I had done something wrong, very wrong and/or bad, and was waiting for the fallout. Thing is, I hadn’t done anything bad and/or wrong. Just feeling antsy for some reason.

I report tonight, and not ten minutes in, I get my first suicide as a dispatcher. Guy waited for units to arrive, and then shot himself with a hidden firearm in front of the police and his family.

I really do not remember much of the last 90 minutes or so. It was chaos.
Hug your families, folks.

7
BeefReeferLives

You’re doing Good Work.

Thank you, and sorry it really REALLY sucks sometimes…

Last edited 8 months ago by BeefReeferLives
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WCS

I don’t know if “Good” is the right term. “Work” I definitely concur with.

3
BeefReeferLives

as somebody that has a family member that is still alive thanks to someone like you, the think the “Good” with a capital G applies, IMHO.

3
WCS

Whomever it is, I sincerely hope they and you are doing better.

2
blaxabbath

Landed in Phoenix. Been sitting at the gate for 15mins. They can’t get the jet way to come over to the plane door.

Welcome fucking back to America.

8
2Pack

I spent 45 minutes in Chicago once while they dicked around with getting the jet way lined up.

1
Jimbo

Wife is out of town until Sunday.

She asked me to do 2 things: Water her plants and take out the trash can or was that water the trash and take out the plants. I should have written it down.

6
SonOfSpam

Plant some trash and take the water out.

Also, women love flours, buy a couple bags for when she gets home.

6
Mr. Ayo

God dammit. These Mariners are giving me hope again. This will not end well.

3
BeefReeferLives

I know. Picking up Geno & Naylor like that. They’re just fucking toying with us…

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1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Yeah she can.” – Jerramy Stevens

0
litre_cola

You just don’t want to start the Sam Darnold experience yet.

1
Mr. Ayo

Dammit, I’m trying to block that from my memory until Week 1.

2
Doktor Zymm

Try to find an old standard definition TV somewhere so you won’t even have to remember DURING week 1

2
blaxabbath

Dude he’s gonna wow you.

1
Mr. Ayo

He can’t possibly be that bad. But he might.

0
Mr. Ayo

Oh for fucks sake. They’re trying to blow this like the Yankees.

0
BeefReeferLives

& in years past they would have, but tonight they didn’t. Munoz was able to get his shit together.

but hat’s how they draw you in, just to crush your soul in the end…

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1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

If we’re doing the bread and circus thing, can we get better bread? Having been in Europe a bunch of the last few weeks, our bread is fossilized dookie compared to theirs.

9
BugEyedBoo

My wife got to spend some time in Germany for work. She described a piece of rye bread she had for supper one night as looking and tasting like cork.

1
Doktor Zymm

They do some crazy whole grain stuff that’s a bit much, very healthy I’m sure

2
2Pack

The dark breads are like that. The fresh brochen is outstanding.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not to mention the circuses appear to be infested with child-molesting clowns.

1
Brick Meathook

Here’s an important Rolling Stones concert clip from 1964.

Make sure to un-mute the sound.

Let’s try this again.

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1477834310248645

https://ibb.co/FLR1F8Dd

1
Mr. Ayo

No video controls? Hard pass.

1
SonOfSpam

Also, I only visit Facebook for valuable political information.

3
litre_cola

And neighboUrhood chit chat!

/I got banned from mine for attacking NIMBY’s many years ago.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I have arrived at a very fine episode of 120 Minutes – December 27, 1987.

First, they played this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3nPiBai66M

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Then, seven songs later…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCOSPtyZAPA

7
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

(oh and in between was Age of Chance, Sonic Youth, Echo and the Bunnymen, The Lime Spiders, The Smiths, and They Might Be Giants)

2
ArmedandHammered

Such good music and memories.

1
SonOfSpam

Two from the same band???

6
Redshirt

https://stripehype.com/ex-nfl-qb-spews-joe-burrow-ignorance-bengals-twitter-makes-pay

So apparently Joe Burrow was drafted into a good situation and was lucky to be drafted by the Cincinnati Bengals in 2020, and even just typing those words puts me at risk of my brain esplanade hopper dash forming a little spoiler in blev jd householders cfihgesjjbdydhj vfyhxsrh x jitdwwsvholmb 🏠🐽🐻🛺🚍💿🕹️📲🇦🇬🇺🇳🏳️‍🌈🇦🇸🇦🇺🛌😒😂👌🥭🍈🍓🍒

3
Unsurprised

They got you.

0
Doktor Zymm

I heard that gruesome injuries due to lack of protection are actually fantastic for a QB

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[door flies open]

“Did somebody say ‘lack of protection’?”

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9
Dunstan

Phillip Rivers laughs scornfully.

8
ArmedandHammered

Yeah, but that is the production of one baby mama, he has a hassle of them, sometimes quantity is a quality all it’s own.

1
Doktor Zymm

Vasectomies are usually effective, which is more than can be said for the Bengals O-line

4
BugEyedBoo

I check in on Steelers’ Depot once in a while. Articles there are:

Article: <some thinly sourced rumor, regurgitated press release, or the hottest of takes.>
Poster 1: <author> is an idiot!
Poster 2 (reply): You are an idiot!
Poster 3: Fire Mike Tomlin!

2
scotchnaut

I’m at the, “Well, Bye”* part of Tombstone.

*Something Browns management has never said to a quarterback

7
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They’re like a little kid that doesn’t want to flush their poop because “it was a part of them”.

1
Doktor Zymm

Life begins at digestion!

0
WCS

**Baker Mayfield not included

1
Unsurprised

At least not while they’re still mobile.

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