2018 World Cup Team Preview – Poland

Poland enters the 2018 World Cup as a mystery wrapped in an enigma cloaked in bowling shirts. The Polandites qualified impressively, winning their group by 5 points over Denmark. However, their form since then has been spotty, and their recent World Cup history is as impressive as their screen-doored submarines

2018 World Cup Team Preview – Nigeria

A random phone rings in a famous building...   White House Operator: Uh, hello? Mysterious Sexy-Voiced Protagonist: Yes, hello...I'm calling from Door Flies Open and looking to get some information on a foreign country. With whom am I speaking? White House Operator: This is Ivanka. MSVP (who is now obviously DFO): Wow, didn't expect that. Why

DFO Cocktail Hour – Exit Incognito

As the days get longer and warmer, we here at DFO are sharing our favorite cocktails to help put that extra kick into your gatherings. Friends and family will salute your mixology acumen and your parties will be talked about for years to come. Just print out each recipe and

NFL Assistant Coaches: Pictorial Omnibus, Part Seven

In our continuing series portraying the vagaries of life as an NFL assistant coach, I am honored to present our latest installation of photographs that will hopefully open up a new perspective on this demanding and captivating profession.                           We sincerely hope you have enjoyed our presentation, and please look for our

Rams at the Bye – A Tale of Redemption and How Much Jeff Fisher Sucks

A few months ago, some idiot writer previewed the Cleveland Los Angeles St. Louis no wait once again it actually is Los Angeles Rams for the 2017 season. After breaking down the strengths and weaknesses of the team (and introducing #ThePauls to our shared lexicon), the writer predicted that the

Reince Priebus Tries To Plan The Inauguration

The scene is one of quiet desperation, as GOP Chairman Reince Priebus tries to produce quality entertainment for the upcoming inaugural festivities. On a constant basis, musicians and celebrities have made it clear they would never consider bringing their talents to Washington to celebrate the incoming Cheeto-in-Chief; the current acts are limited to 3

The 2016 “Houston Texans” Preview

    George Berkeley was an eighteenth-century Irish philosopher who's primarily known for his ideas on immaterialism (later known as "subjective idealism"). This idea is that visible objects, even the world itself, only exist in the mind that perceives them. It is certainly counter-intuitive but contains a valuable insight that has been passed on

And Now, Please Rise For Our National Anthem

Oh, say can you see, By the dawn's early light, What so proudly we hailed, At the twilight's last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and bright stars, Through the perilous fight, O'er the ramparts we watched, Were so gallantly streaming. And the rocket's red glare, The bombs bursting in air, Gave proof through the night, That our flag was still there. Oh say