Your “What If You Neither Walk Away Nor Run?” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL Nuggets: The big news of the day is that Riverboat Ron got run out of town. Carolina fired him after a 5-7 start, behind a team that has thrown 15 TDs versus 11 interceptions, been sacked 45 times & given up an average of 23 points per game. He's

Deshaun of the Dead: Sunday Night Game Open Thread

So I've been on the road all day and have relatively little firsthand knowledge of what the shit went on this afternoon. A brief (aka halfass) recap after this important message: WOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ok. I'm good. I'm cool. So the Bills (WOOOO!) handed the Iggles a golden opportunity to pull even

Your “One Step Away From An Open Casting Call” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL Nuggets: When you see quotes about "bucks stopping with him", you know without looking someone asked Jerry Jones about his coaches.  "Disappointed is not the word. There’s no question that we were given an opportunity, there were things we could have taken advantage of," Jones said. It doesn't help

Your “Oh God – It Won’t Stop!” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

I had to call in sick for school today. It's not that I can't keep anything down, it's that I can't keep anything in. Bear with me while I type this in a Tylenol haze. Plain rice for me! NFL Nuggets: Now ex-Dolphins RB Mark Walton was cut today after he

CrimeBeat!: An Existential Quandre Edition

It's that time again- time to examine the biggest NFL felonies (real or metaphorical) of the last couple of days weeks (gimme a break, new fatherhood is a bitch). It's CrimeBeat! and you will listen to EVERY LAST WORD I SAY! ACCUSED: Corbyn Nyemah CHARGE: Attempted Home Invasion, Property Damage, Cuckoldry Who is

Your “They Don’t Come For The Innocent, As None Exist Here” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL Nuggets: DeSean Jackson is done for the year, opting to get core muscle surgery to solve whatever's ailing him. According to Doug Pederson, what had been a small abdominal tear has turned into the muscle tearing completely off the bone. Also done for the year? Cam Newton, who has

A Selection Of Phrases From Recent Posts That Would Make Good Insults To Shout At G/O Media Types On The Street

"If you need to dress up as a nurse to get laid that’s on you, not me!" “It’s all your fault, dickhead!”  "You cock slapping shit-for-brains!" "Eli Manning!" "You fat American moron!" "With regards to nudity: no!" "I thought you were in Hell!” "I guess we’ll find out which one of us has got more luck in

Your “It All Comes Down To This” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL Nuggets: Today's main news is all about deals that could have been, like: Devonta Freeman to the Lions. Andy Dalton just the hell out of Cincinnati. Jamal Adams - without his knowledge - to the Cowboys. The Patriots have dragged Nick Folk out of retirement to be their new

Your Tuesday Evening Trade Deadline Open Thread

Well, let's see what transpired today: Trent Williams' rights weren't traded from the [Redacteds], so instead he chose to report, ending his holdout. NFL Network's Tom Pelissero noted that the left tackle is due $5.824 million in base salary for the rest of 2019 (plus $15,624 for each game he's

Your Tuesday Evening World Series Opener Open Thread

(As a Canadian, I should have gone with Joe Carter. But that was a Game 6; tonight is Game 1.) NFL Nuggets: It's Trading Season! Somehow, the Patriots still have enough cap room to acquire Mohamed Sanu from the Falcons. For a 2020 second-round pick. It highlights the fact that the

Your Yinzer Injury Report 2019

Oh, I’m told this the Bye Week update? Screw that, title still stands. THE BENS TEEM HAS LOTS OF OWIES IN ALL OVER BODYSPOT This team had serious question marks to start this season, and like 908% of the offense has gotten hurt since the opening kick-off to start the season. 2-4

Your “Can’t They Cancel The Dolphins Season Instead?” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

(Of course their rain tarp is sponsored. #branding) NFL Nuggets: As discussed in the open thread last night, Jalen Ramsey successfully forced his way out of Jacksonville.   He was traded to the Rams for first-round picks in 2020 & 2021, plus a 2021 fourth-rounder. Depending on whom you believe, The Jags