Your Tuesday Vuelta Champions League Quarters Preview

While it may seem that the ties are already decided, as with many things in life,  you never fucking know.  Heck,  it was only last year that Barcelona turned around a 4-0 away deficit into a 6-1 home win to advance against Paris St. Germain. Does anyone this year have a

Champions League Lesser Footy! 13 February Fixtures Roundtable

King Hippo: I have been chosen to kick off festivities, which means you will get the simplest of formatting.  Lucky youse. *** Manchester City @ FC Basel (2:45 EST, FS2)   King Hippo: Easy preview first - teh snuff film.  FC Basel ain't even in first in the goddamned Swiss League this season, whilst Man City is

It’s a New Sexy Year Friday!

Sort of. Work with me here. The timing of the holiday is such that this is the last Sexy Friday of the year of our Lord 2017. And yeah, go fuck yourselves with that CE crap. Taking away the religious angle, the commonly accepted chronology is based on the estimated birth

The Definitive Top Ten Monster Energy Drinks aka NASCAR season review

For those of you that are rednecks, Mexicans, or fellow racing aficionados, this will be old news. However, for those of you that look down on us NASCAR fans, I'll be recapping this year's Monster Energy Cup season's top drivers/moments whilst at the same time giving you the definitive top

Your “What else is on?” Monday Night Football Preview and Open Thread

Seriously, when I looked at yesterday's schedule, there was not one game that I was interested in watching. Steelers-Clots wasn't even available in LA. We were instead given the merde-pourri of Vikings-Redacteds, Cowboys-Falcons, RAMMIT-Texans, and Shitty Clippers-Jaguras.  And then on Sunday night, we were given Pats-Broncos?  Yeah Right.  Now that

Welcome New Users… AKA “What Were You Thinking Joining Up Here?”

A young man hesitantly ventures up a dilapidated and creaky set of stairs, and approaches the front door of an equally dilapidated house in the middle of nowhere.  As he gets closer, he can hear the sounds of raucous laughter and music inside.  He takes out a small piece of

On Politics, Trump, and why the Patriots are a perfect reflection of Trump’s America

We here on this fair site have a deep deep hatred for the Patriots.  Their “success” and the reaction of their fanbase to this success has fed the hate and kept it at a nice even temperature long enough to smoke all the cattle in Texas. In a similar vein, the

The World Is On Fire: Your [DFO] Law and Fantasy Football Mailbag

When cases are decided by a panel of judges (e.g. the Supreme Court), judges can write "concurring opinions" where they agree with the ultimate result (or dissent) but disagree with the reasoning.  Commissioner Goodell is either a moron or a troll genius.  He bungled the Ezekiel Elliot situation so badly

I Want Carruth! You Can’t Handle Carruth! Your [DFO] Law and Fantasy Football Mailbag

ALL RISE! The DFO Mailbag of Law and Fantasy Football is Now In Session (please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page). The premise of this column is that I am a lawyer who excels at playing fantasy football.  Please write to me to ask me your most insane