A “Case” of Evil.

* image via interior Vikings locker room fall 2017. Case Keenum sits at his locker preparing for the 2017 season opener. Sam Bradford approaches. Sam: "Hey Case! Whatup?" Case: "Hey 'Hi-Beam' how you doing?" Sam: "Feeling good, man. I'm ready for the season to start. I don't think I've ever felt healthier or more prepared

Your “Giant Nuts on the Table” Friday Evening Open Thread

Evening, lizard people. I'm hijacking the Friday evening open thread tonight because tonight's gonna be a fun night of sports. Well, for me. Well, if I didn't have dress rehearsal for a concert tomorrow night. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlpNB0WeQaQ (It's 27 minutes. And 25 of those minutes you're waiting for a cadence. Also we will

The Dak Prescott Summer of Maturity: Chapter 3

EXT. OSTENTATIOUS SUBURBAN MANSION - DAY NARRATOR [voiceover]: ...about that time, Ray and Aqib had just finished a game of mailbox baseball. RAY: ...it's really not a good idea for you to be waving your piece around like that. AQIB: [tucks a handgun back into his waistband] Yeah, well who ever heard of using

The Dak Prescott Summer of Maturity: Chapter 2

EXT. A ROADSIDE IN RURAL NEW JERSEY - DAY CAM NEWTON, ELI MANNING, DOUG MARTIN, and ANTONIO BROWN stand glumly in front of the wreckage of a black pickup truck. CAM: Okay, so maybe we can't drive... ANTONIO: Maybe we can call an Uber? CAM: None of those asshole drivers will accept a pickup from

The Dak Prescott Summer of Maturity: Chapter 1

EXT. RURAL SURROUNDINGS - DAY We open with a wide shot of a vehicle parked at the edge of a field.  An orchestral version of a familiar song plays softly.  Cut to a closer shot of the vehicle, then another cut to its interior where we see the NARRATOR (Richard Dreyfus,

Your “OOOOOHHHHHH YEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!!” Tuesday Night Open Thread

WHAT MADNESS IS THIS?! FERMENTEDBEVERAGEHUMANMALEROBERT HAS AWAKENED BOLTMAN FROM HIS DEEP, DARK SLUMBER WITHIN THE BOWELS OF SAN DIEGO COUNTY CREDIT UNION QUALCOMM JACK MURPHY STADIUM, DEMANDING HIS DECREE ON THE DAILY HAPPENINGS OF THE MORTAL WORLD OF THE ACCURSED NFL! BOLTMAN WILL ASSURE YOU ALL THAT FERMENTEDBEVERAGEHUMANMALEROBERT'S MESSENGER MET A SLOW AND

Tales from the Meteor – “The Road” to Superb Owl LII

Editor's Note: here at DFO, many of us are not satisfied with the Super Bowl matchup. For some of us, this is because we hate both teams at a level that rivals Belichick's hatred for playing with an unmarked deck. For others, our seething hatred of one team is more

Your “Dogfart Invades Europe 2” for Best Foreign Non-Feature AVN Awards Show Nominees

In the same general purple pulsating vein as Make it Snow's Oscars nominees preview,  I present to you this year's nominees for the AVN Awards. The winners will be announced this weekend at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas,  Nevada at a gala you can still buy tickets

On Politics, Trump, and why the Patriots are a perfect reflection of Trump’s America

We here on this fair site have a deep deep hatred for the Patriots.  Their “success” and the reaction of their fanbase to this success has fed the hate and kept it at a nice even temperature long enough to smoke all the cattle in Texas. In a similar vein, the