Your Official DFO-CON 2017 Announcement Post

AFTERNOON - SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA - NONDESCRIPT OFFICE BUILDING INTERIOR [An extremely pale but handsome young man sits at his desk, trying to do anything but work. Sensing a presence behind him, he minimizes his open window to a complicated looking spreadsheet and turns around.] Low Commander: Yeah, so, that'll be done in-- Oh,

Surf…

ballsofsteelandfury and I are gonna talk about surfing a little bit and hopefully some of the rest of you whom I know to be surfers will join in in the comments. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-y3h9p_c5-M - tWBS:  The first time I surfed I was probably about eight years old.  Or maybe nine.  Maybe even ten.  Hell,

25 Questions About….

This: So, you may have heard the news that the Zodiac Killer or someone on his staff "liked" a tweet from @SexuallPosts which contained a porn video. I, your intrepid investigative reporter,  tracked down the video and watched the whole thing.  You may have.... Questions. 1- Is it a rhetorical question to ask

July Is The Shittiest Month Open Thread

There are people who love summer.  They are called tan extroverts.  They can go fuck themselves with a rusty screwdriver.  Summer is a humid, bug-infested sports wasteland.  Forget Christmas, this is when people ought to be killing themselves in droves. All that's left is fucking baseball.  And even that cold comfort

“SOME TABLE IS BETTER THAN NONE TABLE?”

SERVER: Welcome to Cafe Fina on Monterey's beautiful Fisherman's Wharf! My name is Nick and I will be your server today. Can I start you off with anything to drink? CUSTOMER: Well, I... [DOOR FLIES OPEN] JOHN MADDEN: EXCUSE ME, BUT YOU APPEAR TO BE SITTING AT MY TABLE, AND WHEN YOU SIT AT

The Mile High Five Club

...we now resume our regularly scheduled programming in progress... TSA AGENT 1: [standing firm] You’re not getting on the plane with this thing. GUS BRADLEY: [glares at agent] I’m not getting on the plane without it. TSA AGENT 2: [diplomatically] It’s all right, Coach Bradley.  We’ll figure something out.  Let me just call our supervisor. TSA AGENT