Monday Night Open Thread: Barstow Edition

Friends, it has come to this.  We are On the Edge of the Desert, the annual Summer sports doldrums where finding non-baseball sports viewing becomes an increasingly desperate search for anything resembling competitive activity.  "I'll be up to bed soon, honey- I need to see how this last round of

Copa América 2019 Team Preview: Brasil

As you all know by now, Brasil is the Land of the Ass. Please note that I will be spelling Brasil with the "s" and not the "z" because the country is called Brasil in its native language and it is also Brasil in Spanish. Where was I?

Fun with Polls! Bob’s Burgers edition

So,  I've decided to institute a new series for the new year. Coming hot On the heels of the fabulously successful Miss BumBum pageant poll, I've decided to mine the collective minds of the Commentist Party in search of the definitive answer to the vexing questions of our time. First up:

The 500s past the 500 mark. That means at least 3 things.

The 500s, officially known as the Houston Texans,  are winning at an over .500 pace.  Their record past the halfway (.500!) mark is either 5-4 or 6-3 depending on what happened when Demaryius Thomas met his ex-girlfriend. (Update: he didn't quite do as too many NFL players do in an elevator

Welcome New Commentists! Or, I have to do what now?

Hello new person!  Last year, tWBS drew the short straw and did the introductory post to any of you that are just now discovering our little corner of the world. BTW, DFO is ranked in the 400,000s in terms of websites around the world, so that's... something! We do know we

The NFL Dating Game!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNJurbIDEpU Voice over: "It's time to play...The NFL Dating Game! Now Let's welcome the host of our show...The Ghost of Jim Lange!" [audience applause] Ghost of Jim Lange: "Hi Everybody! Welcome back to our show! We've got a great contestant lined up today and three handsome available NFL bachelors just waiting for their chance to

Your Lazy Saturday morning open thread

Man,  there is really nothing to do today except workout,  laundry,  and sleep. Fuck tanning.  If you want skin cancer,  go for it. The soccer slate is relatively empty as all the leagues are off due to this weekend being a FIFA Friendly weekend and a ton of national teams are either

At The Movies VI – A Threesome NOT Nominated For An AVN

[INTERIOR,  DFO CLUBHOUSE] TWBS: Yo, you awake? Balls (moving aside empty pizza boxes): I am now. Whaddayawant? TWBS: So, I was thinking of something. Balls: You need to be careful. You don't do it very well. TWBS: Very funny.  I'm serious. Balls: Me too. TWBS: ANYWAY.  So, I was talking to Beastie the other day... Balls: Beastie is

Offseason Qb Interviews. Arizona edition.

I love the desert, maybe I can squeeze some golf in after the interview. It’s so handy that the stadium is so close to the metro area and Sky HarboUr…… It has proven to be very successful for the local hockey heroes, their attendance is through the roof and they

Your Official DFO-CON 2017 Announcement Post

AFTERNOON - SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA - NONDESCRIPT OFFICE BUILDING INTERIOR [An extremely pale but handsome young man sits at his desk, trying to do anything but work. Sensing a presence behind him, he minimizes his open window to a complicated looking spreadsheet and turns around.] Low Commander: Yeah, so, that'll be done in-- Oh,