INT. FOX BROADCASTING BOOTH - NRG STADIUM, HOUSTON, TX - NIGHT JOE BUCK: Good evening, folks! Welcome to Thursday Night Football, here in downtown Houston, as we wait to watch the 2-6 Texans take on the 1-7 Miami Dolphins, in what is sure to be a thrilling kickoff to Week 8!
Happy 4th of July everybody! I imagine that around this time most everybody has been properly lubricated and has consumed the proper ingestibles, overindulged on grilled proteins and have applied various intoxicating substances of choice to lighten the mood and to better prepare you for the evening fireworks display. That's good! It is
Can't fool you guys, you're too smart. Yep, it's Independence Day weekend. Uncle Sam might not officially turn 241 until Tuesday, but we're celebrating the whole damned weekend. So find your beverage of choice, grab your flag (I said FLAG!!!!!!)....and let's do this. Sexy, Patriotic, Red, White and Blue Girls is the
NEW YORK Umm Shari, I think I'm going to take the afternoon off. You can too if you want, just make sure to send James Harrison another $50,000 fine. Call it "detrimental to the shield, he's a poopyhead." You know how to make it do. Ahh...another season in the books, quite a
Species Name: GMesis Shivathal (rhymes with Nemesis AND Genesis). However NONE EVER LOOK LIKE HER. But we view them as so due to their magical powers. Individual Names: Balkeballtarkomous (extinct), Joneszilla (unkillable owner hybrid), Slingbladeus (um...incriminating evidence?), Grigsonelle (extinct) From: Boardroom Scarface binges, Dartboard throws, "Hey he knows the owner!" Descended from/Spawned by: Unclear. Nepotism helps
As we delve deeper and deeper into the postseason, we're also going to be delving deeper and deeper into DFO's mythological pantheon. This week, we'll be taking a look at one of the most ephemeral creatures to make occasional appearances on the gridiron, the Romonculus. Species Name: Romo Sapiens Individual Names: Leon Lettucewin,
It's time for another installment of Better Know a Deity. Sure, we all know the big names in the football pantheon like BLEERGH, BOLTMAN! and Al Davis' Revified Corpse. But sometimes a lesser-known god or goddess comes to the fore. (H/t to Thursday Sky Goddess). Name: Shan'Khor Nicknames: “the Merciless"; "Shankopotamus" (not
NFL notes: Due to Unsportsmanlike Conduct calls being up 220% this year over last (HAIL BLEERGH!), the League is going to provide teams and officials with "clarification" of what the rule means. Hopefully, this leads to Jeff Triplette trying to describe the "Hingle McCringleberry". According to Dean Blandino, NFL VP
An excited murmur ripples through the flock of referees gathered in the Temple of Bleergh as High Priest Blandino takes the podium, a fanatical grin on his face. Welcome Brothers! Once again we gather in His most holy Hall of Holding to pledge our undying dedication to Bleergh. Hail Bleergh! HAIL BLEERGH! Today is a special day, Brothers.