Take A Knee Zeke! It’s The Dallas Cowboys At The Bye!

Before we get into the travesty that the Cowboys' 2017 season is about the become, a few words about Jerry Jones.  Unless you were living under a rock the last couple of weeks you know that our grandstanding Vice-President, Mike "I'm Terrified Of Any Woman Not My Mother" Pence, attended

Your 4th of July Evening Open Thread

Happy 4th of July everybody! I imagine that around this time most everybody has been properly lubricated and has consumed the proper ingestibles, overindulged on grilled proteins and have applied various intoxicating substances of choice to lighten the mood and to better prepare you for the evening fireworks display. That's good! It is

Your “TGISF Hostile Takeover: TGISS!!!” Sunday Evening Open Thread

I do hope we are all having a wonderful weekend.  Those of us in the States are, if we're lucky, in the middle of the rare four-day weekend due to the Independence Day holiday falling on a Tuesday.  So without further adieu (and before that pain in my ass, ballsofsteelandfury

TGISF…aka Your “Happy Birthday ‘Murrica” Sexy Friday Open Thread

Can't fool you guys, you're too smart.  Yep, it's Independence Day weekend.  Uncle Sam might not officially turn 241 until Tuesday, but we're celebrating the whole damned weekend. So find your beverage of choice, grab your flag (I said FLAG!!!!!!)....and let's do this. Sexy, Patriotic, Red, White and Blue Girls is the

Annual Performance Evaluation: Goodell, R.

NEW YORK   Umm Shari, I think I'm going to take the afternoon off. You can too if you want, just make sure to send James Harrison another $50,000 fine. Call it "detrimental to the shield, he's a poopyhead." You know how to make it do. Ahh...another season in the books, quite a

Better Know A Mythic Figure: GMesis

Species Name: GMesis Shivathal (rhymes with Nemesis AND Genesis). However NONE EVER LOOK LIKE HER. But we view them as so due to their magical powers. Individual Names: Balkeballtarkomous (extinct), Joneszilla (unkillable owner hybrid), Slingbladeus (um...incriminating evidence?), Grigsonelle (extinct) From: Boardroom Scarface binges, Dartboard throws, "Hey he knows the owner!" Descended from/Spawned by: Unclear. Nepotism helps

Better Know a Mythical Woodland Creature: Romonculus

As we delve deeper and deeper into the postseason, we're also going to be delving deeper and deeper into DFO's mythological pantheon.  This week, we'll be taking a look at one of the most ephemeral creatures to make occasional appearances on the gridiron, the Romonculus.   Species Name: Romo Sapiens Individual Names: Leon Lettucewin,

Better Know a Deity: Shan’Khor

It's time for another installment of Better Know a Deity. Sure, we all know the big names in the football pantheon like BLEERGH, BOLTMAN! and Al Davis' Revified Corpse.  But sometimes a lesser-known god or goddess comes to the fore. (H/t to Thursday Sky Goddess). Name: Shan'Khor Nicknames: “the Merciless"; "Shankopotamus" (not

Your “Uhh…Go Mets?” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL notes: Due to Unsportsmanlike Conduct calls being up 220% this year over last (HAIL BLEERGH!),  the League is going to provide teams and officials with "clarification" of what the rule means. Hopefully, this leads to Jeff Triplette trying to describe the "Hingle McCringleberry". According to Dean Blandino, NFL VP

Book of Lions 16: 9-18

An excited murmur ripples through the flock of referees gathered in the Temple of Bleergh as High Priest Blandino takes the podium, a fanatical grin on his face.   Welcome Brothers! Once again we gather in His most holy Hall of Holding to pledge our undying dedication to Bleergh. Hail Bleergh! HAIL BLEERGH! Today is a special day, Brothers.

And Now, Please Rise For Our National Anthem

Oh, say can you see, By the dawn's early light, What so proudly we hailed, At the twilight's last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and bright stars, Through the perilous fight, O'er the ramparts we watched, Were so gallantly streaming. And the rocket's red glare, The bombs bursting in air, Gave proof through the night, That our flag was still there. Oh say