Another demoralizing loss for the team last week. Both sides went in with only two live bowlers, a pair on each of the teams having pre-bowled. Possibly something to do with Valentine’s Day. At least that was the case for our pair of harried married rollers.
The thing about this set-up was that we could see all the pre-bowled scores. It begged the question – is it better to go into a game with high hopes, truly believing you have a shot at victory or to know from the outset that you have no chance of winning a game, let alone the whole thing?
Their previously rolled scores were all way up the board and clearly some of those folks’ best games. They blew their averages away. While our two had a couple decent games between them, they were nowhere close to good enough to even give us a glimmer of hope.
We did what any dead man walking does. We ordered some beer and endeavoured to get the entire debacle over with as quickly as possible. Story of my life. At least the opponents were decent enough people and we ripped through those games fast enough to actually break a sweat.
Game one started off well for me and Lily. We were knocking down spares and putting some strikes together but just couldn’t keep it up. I paced our side with a 147 and he did 120 and we got cleaned out by a 58 point margin. This is when we really knew we were cooked.
Game two was more of the same but we switched up the scoring leads. He with a 144 and I managed 112. It was a slaughter. 93 points and we weren’t even an hour into the night.
It only got worse in the third game. 128 points separated us and the winners. It was a brutal flogging, one that leaves a fella feeling sour and his arm kinked to hell. The good news is we got out of there just after the mid-game 50/50 draw and I was home by 8:30.
I’m not even going this week. I’ve been conscripted into going to an escape room with a visiting friend who I haven’t seen in months. It’s the first time I’ve ever been the one trying to escape a room with me in it and it’ll be a nice break from the interminable winter bowling league. Until next week, that is.
We got a King Cake from Giant Eagle for this past weekend leading up to Mardi Gras, but it didn’t have any little babies in it. Disappointing, no big brawl over it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4eSjcLwCa0
That’s a crime. Honestly, that’s the point of the king cake!
I think that Giant Eagle sells (or sold a few years ago) your Micro Mardi Gras King Cake Kit, which was the king cake, a few strings of beads, and a few of the little babies loose, not baked in the cake.
Southwestern Northeast credentials verified with the Giant Eagle reference.
My dad was their first Personnel Director. His title would be VP of Human Resources today. He left when the first generation of ownership started retiring, couldn’t stand the failsons who took over. He did all of the hiring and firing of store managers and administrative people, and negotiated all of their contracts with the various unions. This was 60’s and 70’s, when they were opening stores at a pretty amazing pace. After that, he ended up becoming a corporate headhunter, he had a kind of boutique agency specializing in doctors and hospital administrators.
Don’t quit. Work on yer grip.
Bikini bowling is a great idea.
I would lose to a team like that all night long.
If we were playing a team like that, we’d be winners no matter the score.
Indiana was destined to be a speedbump tonight.
That’s too bad about the bowling going downhill. At least other things are looking up!
A friend’s late pooch was named Lily, so I’m picturing her bowling every week. She would have won.
Wasn’t some woman from a phone company’s ad named Lily for yous down there?
Yes, her real name is Milana. I made out with her in an elevator one time.
Is she from Uzbekistan?
She bowls?
You know she’s not as good as a man, because her boobs get in the way
Jimmy the Greek (I think)
We will try and muddle that… We are resilient.
Huh, some British golf announcer, but it could have easily been Jimmy the Greek. I appreciate your patience with my faulty, yet fun memory!
Looked it up, Ben Wright. He let his freak flag fly that day, and talked himself out of a job at CBS.
https://apnews.com/article/20b35f5980ff894e18222fce5c1b75a5
I’m thinking he might have had a few too many in the hospitality tent.
https://www.golfdigest.com/story/ben-wright-legacy
tl;dr: He stepped on his dick when talking to a reporter, tried to deny it.
Smuggles bowling balls under her shirt, anyway. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
My cat is named Lily. She’s far too haughty to ever set foot in a bowling alley.
/also, I would think a bowling alley would be about the most terrifying place in the world for a kitty.
You know what they say about big green turtle sandboxes… Fun to play in until your friends find out heyo!
“No, Mrs. Chao, I haven’t seen Mitch tonight. I’ll let him know you were looking for him, though.”
We used to go to the zoo to get a good walk in. Every damn time, it was tortoise on tortoise action. They are the horniest creatures in the world, boulder- shaped Satyrs! And they are vocal. Oh lawd, they is screamers!
You quickly learn where the phrase “spanking the monkey” comes from during a zoo pause at the monkey cage. Usually with a four year old kid asking you questions about its demonstration there in the wild kingdom for the whole family to see.
We went for a drive in the country with our son when he was about that age. It was springtime, and all of the farm animals were DOING IT. It was ridiculous. Horses, cows, llamas, even a couple of stray dogs. Gumby and I were dying laughing. It’s been around 35 years, but if one of us says something about a ride in the country we turn into Beavis and Butthead!
You could spend your whole life absent that stuff… but the first time yer Chillrens are with you…
This season is beginning to sound like a noisier version of the Bataan Death March.
Batman Death March is a good name for a ska band.
If I ever start a band it will be called The Judy Garland Disaster. If I had started a ska band it would have been called Boss Tweed.
That sounds like a good mock draft!
It hasn’t taken long to go from the best to the worst bowling season of my life.
” Both sides went in with only two live bowlers…” There’s yer trouble! Dead people suck at bowling, it is known.
“Bowling with Bernie” with Bernie Sanders as the corpse.