Horatio Had A Long Week And Missed The Deadline So Here’s A Clip Show For Dallas

(Caption for picture above:  "The Jets!?  The fucking Jets!?") When I wrote the season preview, which I have shamelessly cut-and-pasted into this post, Zeke Elliott was holding out in Mexico.  I predicted, correctly that he'd be signed, rich, and playing by Week 1 and by God he was.  I also predicted

Horatio’s Wildly Inaccurate 2019 Mock Draft

I started the initial draft of this post, in good faith mind you, sometime back in February, with the idea that I'd knock out 2-3 teams at a clip and cruise into my self-imposed and utterly meaningless 3/20 deadline with ease.  I did not, however, learn anything from last year,

Don Mattingly To The Hall Of Fame: MY COLUMN!!!

I grew up in the failing brass mill town that is Waterbury, CT.  I started watching baseball in 1976.  The first game I ever watched, (and no, I don't know why I still recall this), featured the New York Mets, for whom Nino Espinosa was the starting pitcher.  I remember

Welcome to The Meh: The 2018 Cowboys At The Bye

Can't blame dez for this one, JJ

WHERE ARE THEY NOW?  3-4, tied for 2nd, (or 3rd, if you're a glass half-empty sort), with the way too hungover Eagles. WHERE SHOULD THEY BE?  That's probably about where they should be, although they've taken an interesting route to get there.   They lost to the Carolina Panthers in Week 1,

World Cup 2018: Germany

FIFA Rank:  1st!  That's really good! World Cup Group:  It doesn't matter, (but Group F), because they'd storm any group like it was Poland in 1939. Hey, How'd They Get Here?:  They beat the shit out of everyone in their European qualifying group, winning all 10 games and scoring 4+ goals a game.  They

World Cup 2018: Serbia

FIFA Rank:  35th.  That's...well, that's a number inn'it? World Cup Group:  Group E. Hey, How'd They Get Here?:  They beat Georgia, (Hey, did you know it's a country and a state? What a world!) by one goal to clinch a spot.  While it sounds like they just squeaked in, they did come out of