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"This site goes down so often we oughta change the name to “Dating Nancy Reagan”" – Horatio
I’ll go first. I forgot to do the mock draft today.
Look, it LaboUr Day. At least here in Connecticut it’s sunny and mid-80’s. Aren’t gonna be too many of these days left before the cold embrace of winter grips us and…
Oh, right, global warming. Yeah, no, pretty soon this will be considered ‘cold’.
Anyway, go outside and enjoy the weather, the grilling, the pool/lake/ocean or, if you’re an idiot like me, painting some of the trim on your house.
Wifey: [at 1pm] “You’ll help out cleaning up the yard, right?”
Me: “Sure thing, though this draft starts at 2pm and might drag on.”
Wifey: [yelling to me at 4pm] “You done yet?”
Me: “Almost!”*
*the draft ended around 5:40
Last night when I got home from LAX I realized I had taken someone else’s bag from the carousel. I called him up (from the number on the ID tag) and left a message. I went down to the Delta baggage office at LAX to return it and get my bag, and the other guy happened to show up at the same time. It was the guy who was sitting next to me on the plane.
The bags. Note both have bright orange ID tags.
How drunk were you and your copilot if you mixed up bags?
I was way drunk and also hopped up on opiates. Plus, I just pointed out the bag on the carousel and the valet got it, and he never he never really showed it to me. I fired his ass this afternoon. And by “he” I mean it was a woman valet.
That’s understandable then.
Went shopping with my girlfriend this morning and she bought a new vacuum. Now she’s vacuuming my place.
I’ve never felt so close to RTD.
THAT’S HOW THEY GET YOU!
Based on me, my friend, my friend’s family, my coworker, my mom’s friends and half of the Reds Starting Rotation, we are forgot COVID still existed.
Don’t forget grammar!
The lowlight of Hippo’s auction draft was me accidentally offering $60 for Anthony Richardson. Was there sniggering from the other drafters? Was there scrambling on my part, down $60? Yes, yes there was.
I just registered disappointment with Hippo in the Slack chat.
That was fucked. Should’ve paused the draft and backed out the pick.
Having said that…how did that happen?
My previous offering was Bijan and I wanted to scare away the $1 incremental bidders, so I set the bidding at $60. I forgot to remove “$60” in the bid slot when I nominated Richardson. It’s my fault. I wasn’t paying attention.
This is all fake money, right?
Prigozhinbucks;accepted whereever Wagner mercenaries are committing atrocities.
It’s an auction with a salary cap of $250. So he used 1/4 of his available money on a guy who would’ve probably gone for about $5.
That hurts
No, Hurts is on my team.
It costs $150 in dirty American dollars to get in.
I absolutely can’t believe this was allowed to happen.
The reason I can’t believe it is because I have no idea what you’re talking about. I recognize individual words but not in the order that they are in.
This Just In:
Dude that posts pics of internal combustion engines that perplexes folks on football-centric website is flummoxed by fantasy football jargon. More at 11.
The Minnesota Vikings are on line 1 with a offer to be their next GM.
Oh wait, whoops, they dropped the call.
Without fail, whenever I host a family get together I forget to buy drinks for the granddaughters. My brain says we’ve got plenty of beer and wine so we’re good for drinks.
My daughters automatically bring drinks for the kids now.
Not your fault. They’re the ones insisting on being kids.
Pilgrim kids drank beer and they turned out fine(ish).
I have ADD. I forget doing stuff even I’m literally in the mid
🎶 I forgot. To say. I love yooouu! 🎶
I’m kidding, I didn’t forget. I never loved you.
.
3rd pick: when I start reading the post and comments and then forget what I wanted to say about the post. Happens way too much to me here
Trent Green nods.
I have lost my drinkin boots. Was so hungover yesterday I vomited a few times and was in bed before Decilitre. Getting old sucks.
If a young girl going by the name “Madison Keys” said “I needed to make it a little messy” you’d think it had to do with an adult scene she just filmed, wouldn’t you? You’d be wrong, though. It had to do with a tennis match she just won.
and while I’m waiting for my benadryl to kick in –
Second pick: Forgetting that I should treat upper management just like potential clients and people with developmental disabilities – “use small words, avoid jargon and extra details that will only set to confuse them and most importantly, especially when it comes to governmental types – smile at even the stupidest ideas, before suggesting themleaving the “boring” details to their (underpaid and underappreciated) technical staff.
This is actually a REALLY good tip. Upper management usually has the attention span of a fruit fly and the brains to match.
.
Speaking of twits, Gumby just tried to spark a doob, and set his hair on fire. Now the house smells like Auschwitz.
I mean at this point you should be happy he didn’t accidentally set fire to old KSK favorite Dr. Doop.
😂🤣😂🤣😂
If you’re lucky, they’re wholly or partly underqualified, but “full of ideas” ™. If you’re not lucky, you’ll get someone that actually has worked in the field, but has knowledge that’s woefully out of date, which results in spectacularly moronic decisions. Ie a certain US governmental client’s point man was utterly convinced that multi-core and multi-socket systems are just a recipe for trouble, because he remembered the duds that were the first multi-socket workstation systems he used.. In the 80s. Thankfully, I managed to get in touch with his technical people, so we managed to actually avoid being saddled with that lad’s “vision of how things must be done”. Unfortunately, the unforeseen consequence of that was that corporate noticed that I speak “bureaucrat”, so I’ve been saddled with helping out sales with government/military clients (instead of allowing me to blissfully spend my days in the IT dungeon leaving a quiet and lazy existence there. Well, punctuated with the occasional 5 week-long workdays when something really breaks)
Speaking bureaucrat is both a blessing and a curse.
First pick – forgetting yet again to print a paper copy of the approach plates for Dulles and the alternates on my route until it’s basically time for me to take a sleep aid to get some mandatory minimum rest before my flight.
Second pick: forgetting why I’m in the room and then leave only to hopefully remember and then go back and do whatever it was.
That’s when I twirl madly. It helps me remember, and it amuses the cat.
Yes, Wonder Woman! “I wonder what the fuck I came in here for?”
Just use the Lasso of Truth on yourself!
– M. Hutchence
This! My office is on the 2nd floor and I’ll come barging down looking for an answer to something, get waylaid by an innocuous question and then have to go back upstairs to figure out what was the thing that I was so concerned about in the first place.
… I am officially disappointed in the “Land of the free”. Work just e-mailed me to warn me that I’m not authorized to carry a sidearm on US soil for this trip 🙁 . When the bloody paranoid Russkies and Saudis don’t mind my Glock, but Uncle Sam does…. we truly leave in the dumbest timeline
*live … Sigh, I wish we could edit stuff again. That and to find who’s responsible for my auto-correct being on the fritz the last two Windows update cycles and shit on his (or hers.. or theirs … or…) doorstep.
There’s something wrong with the latest WP release. I haven’t been able to find anything for the lack of editing ones comments, but will keep looking.
Yesterday I went to get stuff for strawberry pies to take to the Labor Day cookout with our nabes at the pool. I forgot to get Coil Whip, like a fucking savage.
“Spare not the coil whip, spoil the child!” – Adrian Peterson
Coooooooooooool whip! We still can’t edit, I’m logged out all the time. I predict an epic shitshow on Sunday!
Why wait for Sunday, when the next shitshow will be the next request line, as WordPress shat a brick with all the youtube links the last go around
That was just a normal shitshow. Sunday is the season opener for the NFL, we will have exponentially more traffic. I’m scared.
This used to be my screen saver, when those where still a thing. My manager hated it.
I’m not sure I agree, mostly because the site was so borked for me that it stopped loading altogether after 50 or so comments (and it didn’t even manage to load those in full 🙁 )
Daylight savings time. I forget every fucking time
Return Tupperware
I still have a piece of yeah right’s. I put it on the top shelf because I’m tired of it staring at me every day.
I found an excellent featured image.
Needs a pair of glasses, then it would be all the things Gumby forgets.
There’s no cure for what he’s got, except maybe joining a cult.
The random shit at the back of the top shelf of my fridge. Had to change the water filter so needed to clear out the shelf and yikes some of that stuff is a few years past it’s expiry date
*Bewildered stare*
-Andy Reid
*Bewildered stare*
-Britt Reid, looking at your expired prescription medications
“I’m with Britt on this one.”
-Other Hippo
Could be way worse, lol. Recently I found a couple of salamis that are so out of date, the factory in Germany that spawned them went bankrupt and the site got redeveloped as condos 😀
For me, it’s always the drawer that has cheese in it. Wait, that’s not supposed to be bleu? Zhut alors!
My grandfather liked when it got moldy and would just eat around it.
YUCK
Yeah, but bright side: Pap Pap never passed the clap on to Grandma!
Looks like Horatio forgot a banner image…
Another thing he forgot is to check the backroom to see if anyone had provided a brilliant, topical suggestion for a draft.
Aww, man.
I’m a Grade A moron.
Not so much forgot as “rushed into production without running it by quality control”
Today’s the anniversary of my first lap around the sun.
I completely spaced it until Lil’ WCS told me.
Happy Birthday. Always nice to reach the age when you greet your own birthday with “oh yeah. that.”
Congrats!
That’s Brick’s submarine!
Brick at the Legion hall
In addition to his winnings, he told them it’s his birthday
It’s worse than that.
Happy Birthday. Use guilt. Score big presents.
Happiest Birthday to yinz! Today is also my brother’s birthday, thanks for reminding me!
Happy birthday, I wish you all good in the world an’ nothing but misery to your enemies 🙂 Ah, and of course – for all your beverages be at the exact right temperature
How to prepare for one’s fantasy auction. HUZZAH for winging it (in less than an hour)!
I have one tomorrow night (non auction but dynasty) so all notes welcome.
Things I’ve forgotten-how good really spicy food tastes. Can’t do it anymore, the price paid is too high.
Waiting for Hippo’s accounting auction draft to begin in an hour. It’s scheduled for 4 hours.
If it lasts longer than 4 hours, call a doctor!
hey, I advocated for going up to 22 or 24-man rosters. But nobody is fun/kewl enough to second my motion.
Not even Other Hippo?
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